- Joe Biden, former vice president
and Barack Obama's token white friend.
(upbeat jazzy music)
Joe Biden, like most old people, wasn't always old.
In fact, when he started his political career,
he was the fresh face.
- [Reporter] Biden's Senate career began
with him as the fifth youngest senator
ever elected at 29 in 1972.
- [Reporter] He served in the Senate for three decades.
- [Reporter] Biden's early years in the Senate
saw seismic political change.
The end of the Vietnam War,
the impeachment of Richard Nixon.
- [Reporter] Biden never moved to Washington,
choosing instead to commute home by train each night.
- [Reporter] He has a nickname of Amtrak Joe.
- I take this train, literally,
I've taken it over 7,400 times since I got in the Senate.
- But people don't just love Joe Biden
because he's a down to Earth, everyday man, no.
People love him because he's an adorable goofball.
In fact, the only thing that spends more time
in Biden's mouth than those perfect teeth is his own foot.
- [Reporter] His biggest possible weakness?
His reputation for verbal gaffes.
- As Barack says, a three letter word.
Jobs, J-O-B-S, jobs.
You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts,
unless you have a slight Indian accent to fully,
I'm not joking.
His mama lived in Long Island for 10 years or so,
God rest her soul, and.
Oh she's, wait, your mom's still alive, and your dad passed.
God bless her soul.
- [Reporter] He said this is a politician in a wheelchair.
- Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya.
Oh, God love ya.
What am I talking about?
I tell you what,
you're making everybody else stand up though, pal.
Thank you very, very much.
I tell you what, stand up for Chuck.
- That's right.
Let's show Chuck what he's missing.
Everyone else stand up.
Let's rub it in.
This guy's got no hands.
How 'bout a round of applause?
Come on!
You know what, in a weird way, I feel like these gaffes
are what made Biden the perfect balance to President Obama.
'Cause Obama measured every word.
Like, you could feel him thinking as he was talking.
But when Biden talks, his brain just clicks,
I'm Feeling Lucky, and the first result
comes out of his mouth.
That's it.
Now, Biden didn't just spend
50 years in Washington going viral.
The man has also had some major accomplishments.
- [Reporter] Biden would enter the race
as a foreign policy heavyweight.
In the Senate, he chaired the Foreign Relations Committee.
- [Reporter] 26 years ago, a then Senator Biden
wrote the Violence Against Women Act.
- He was a key player on guns in the '90s
with the Brady Bill and the assault weapons ban.
- [Reporter] Biden forced the president's hand
on the gay marriage issue, endorsing same-sex unions
before the president's planned announcement.
- Biden's been involved in issues that matter to Democrats,
gun control, women's rights, gay marriage,
he was even one of the first to support trans rights.
Although he probably thought he was supporting trains,
but that's still very impressive.
But anyone who's been around that long
is also gonna have some baggage.
And Biden, oh man, he's got enough baggage
to fill a whole Amtrak car.
- [Reporter] Biden is already explaining
a decades long record, including his rolling passing
the now controversial 1994 crime bill,
his vote for the Iraq War, skepticism of Anita Hill,
and past comments on busing to desegregate schools.
- Ooh, okay.
So on the downside,
Joe Biden got a lot of things wrong back in the day.
But on the upside, he managed to grow his hair back.
(crowd laughing)
Look at that, huh?
This guy has the Benjamin Button of scalps.
(crowd laughing)
Now, despite some problematic positions in his past,
many are saying that democrats are still likely
to vote for Joe Biden, partly because of how
progressive he's become, and partly because of how good
he is at getting under Trump's skin.
- The Press always asked me,
Don't I wish I were debating him.
No, I wish we were in high school.
I could take him behind the gym.
(crowd cheering) That's what I wish.
- Did you see where Biden wants to take me,
to the back of the barn, me.
He wants to.
I'd love that.
Mr. Tough guy.
- If we were in high school,
I'd take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.
- That would not last long.
(crowd cheering)
Go like this.
(blowing air)
He's down, and he'll never get up.
He'll never get up
- Old man fight, old man fight, old man fight!
This would be hilarious.
So, will Joe Biden, be the democrat
who gets to take on Trump?
Well, we'll have to wait and see.
But I'll be honest, part of me hopes that it does happen
just so that we get to watch
the most entertaining debates of all time.
- [Announcer] Sleepy Joe Biden.
(crowd cheering)
- [Biden] Mr. President, speak softly and carry a big stick.
(stick banging) (crowd cheering)
- [Trump] Go like this.
(banging) (crowd laughs)
He's down and he'll never get up.
(crowd cheering)
- Joe Biden has come out for a very large
federal gun buyback program and an assault weapons ban.
- To gun owners out there who say,
a Biden administration means
they're gonna come from my guns.
- Bingo.
You're right, if you have an assault weapon,
the fact of the matter is they should be illegal, period.
- Damn, Joe Biden.
(crowd cheering)
Whoa.
That's a bold statement.
Normally Democrats, when they ask the question,
they're like, "Oh, it's not a ban,
"and we're not gonna come for the guns, we're not gonna."
But Biden is like, "Bingo.
"I'll see your ass at midnight."
(crowd laughing)
Joe Biden has surged to a huge lead in the Democratic Party.
And in second place is Bernie Sanders.
Combined age, 642.
(crowd laughs)
It almost seems like they pulled
that move senior citizens do,
where they just cut to the front of the line.
Everyone's too polite to say anything, you just like,
just like him him cut, it might be his last meal ever,
let him go, let him go.
But I do find it interesting
that Biden has especially strong support among black women.
Help me understand,
why are so many black women leaning toward Joe Biden?
- Listen, don't get me wrong,
younger black women will probably go with Elizabeth Warren.
But for older black women, they're going to go with Biden,
because if Biden becomes president,
then Obama is back in the White House.
(crowd cheering)
Yes, yes!
(laughing) - But wait, wait.
- Yeah! - Wait.
Wait, but that's not true, Obama can't be president again.
- Who said anything about president?
If Joe Biden wins, he's gonna invite Obama over for dinner.
And where's dinner?
- The White House. - Boom!
(crowd cheering)
- Obama's back in the White House.
I mean it's sneaky, but it's all we got.
(crowd laughing)
- Okay fine, so maybe that explains black women's support.
But what's interesting to me, Dulce,
is that Democrats overall seem to be going with Biden,
which is strange like, considering how diverse
and fresh most of the other candidates are.
- Of course, yeah, this is just
a simple case of familiar dick.
(crowd laughing)
- Familiar dick?
- Yeah!
See, listen, y'all know what I'm talking about, okay?
There's that one dude you've been
hooking up with for years, right?
And sometimes you try something different,
but you always go back to him.
That's familiar dick.
(crowd laughing and cheering)
Y'all get it! (crowd cheering)
Listen, you know how well it does, what it does.
I mean, sure he's 37 and sells drugs on a child's bike.
(crowd laughing)
But it's the dick you know.
- Okay, so if I understand what you're saying,
you're saying Joe Biden's politics is the familiar penis
that the democrats wish to return to you.
- Now you're getting it, dimple dick.
(claps hands) (laughing)
(crowd cheering)
- The second night of the Democratic debates
ended just moments ago.
I don't know if it was Swalwel,
but the sharks could just smell blood in the water.
All I know is Biden had a target on his back.
- I was six years old when a presidential candidate
came to the California Democratic Convention and said,
"It's time to pass the torch
"to a new generation of Americans."
That candidate was then Senator, Joe Biden.
Joe Biden was right when he said it was time to pass
the torch to a new generation of Americans 32 years ago.
He's still right today.
If we're gonna solve the issues of our nation,
pass the torch.
If we're gonna solve the issues of climate chaos,
pass the torch.
If we're gonna solve this issue of student loan debt,
pass the torch.
If we're gonna end gun violence for families who are fearful
of sending their kids to school, pass the torch.
- [Interviewer] Vice President,
would you like to sing a torch--
- I would.
(crowd laughing)
I'm still holding on to that torch.
- That's right, Biden is not letting go of that torch,
even though that torch is really uncomfortable,
and told Biden that it does not like the way
that he's holding on to it.
He is holding on to that torch.
(crowd cheering)
Next up came immigration, all right?
The candidates told the audience how they planned
to undo the policies enacted by Trump.
No more kids in cages, increased legal immigration,
give everyone free ladders to climb over the wall.
But when it came to Joe Biden,
the moderator was more interested in hearing his opinions
on President Obama's policies.
- You served as vice president in an administration
that deported three million people,
the most ever in US history.
Are you prepared to say tonight that you and President Obama
made a mistake about deportations?
Why should Latinos trust you?
- This is the president who came along
with the DACA program.
No one had ever done that before.
This the President sent legislation the desk,
saying he wants to find a pathway for the 11 million
undocumented the United States of America.
Then we'll go back.
- [Interviewer] Yeah, but you didn't answer the question.
- Well, I did answer the question.
- [Interviewer] No, Did you make a mistake
with those deportations?
- The President did the best thing
that was able to be done--
- How about you?
- I'm the Vice President of the United States.
- Oh, that was not a good look for Biden.
Because this always happens, right?
When Obama is being praised,
Biden jumps into the picture with him.
But then Obama is being criticized, Biden's like,
"Look man, I was the Vice President, I didn't do shit.
The Vice President doesn't do shit.
Donald Trump has become good friends with Mexico,
and he's BFFs with Lil' Kim.
But there's one feud the president is not willing to end,
and it's with America's greatest enemy, Sleepy Joe.
- Well, I heard Biden, who's a loser.
I mean, look, Joe never got more than 1%,
except Obama took him off the trash heap.
And now it looks like he's failing.
He looks different than used to.
He acts different than he used to.
He's even slower than he used to be.
I'd rather run against, I think, Biden than anybody.
I think he's the weakest mentally,
and I like running against people that are weak mentally.
I think Joe is the weakest up here.
- Really, Donald?
You want to compete with a mentally weak loser?
Well, then maybe you should hold a debate with a mirror.
(crowd cheering)
Now, it's no coincidence that Trump
is going after the former VP, right?
Ever since the polls came out showing Biden
beating Trump all over the country,
Trump has aimed all of his attacks
directly at his number one threat.
And Joe Biden is loving it, because it's setting him up
as the presumptive nominee.
Which is why yesterday in Iowa,
he delivered a 40 minute speech that was all about Trump.
- I don't think the president really gets the basics.
He thinks these tariffs are being paid by China,
just like he thinks Mexico is building a wall
(crowd laughing)
He thinks windmills cause cancer.
Now look, you think I'm making this up, I know.
Quote, I have complete power.
No you don't, Donald Trump.
Or, "Only I can fix it."
Fix yourself first, Donald Trump.
- Oh, okay, that was weird.
I feel like Joe Biden turned black
by the end of that speech.
(crowd laughing)
Only I can fix it, no fix yourself Donald Trump.
Mike Pence, you better come get your man.
(crowd laughing)
And I'll be honest, I don't know
if this was an effective campaign speech
that would convince a swing voter.
What I do know is, Joe Biden just got a brand new
stand-up special deal on HBO.
(upbeat country music)
- I don't think the president really gets the basics.
He thinks these tariffs are being paid by China,
just he thinks Mexico is building a wall.
(crowd laughing)
(upbeat country music)
Then there's President Trump, he denies climate change.
What'd he tell Piers Morgan in an interview recently?
He said, "Well, weather goes both ways."
(crowd laughing)
He thinks windmills cause cancer.
Now look, you think I'm making this up, I know.
He said, those California fires,
what they gotta do is rake their leaves.
(crowd laughing)
I'm not joking, I'm not making this up.
- Let's talk about what is looming over
the Biden household right now, and that is the campaign.
This is your third time.
You know how hard it is, you know how taxing it is,
you know how invasive it is,
you know how vitriolic it is going to be.
Are you guys ready for what's about
to happen to your lives?
- Well, you know, the last two years,
people have been coming up to me in the supermarket,
and airports, wherever I go and saying,
"Your husband has to run, your husband has to run."
And we weren't going to run,
but then kept hearing this sort of rhythm, this roll.
And so we started to think about it.
And we called our, well.
We called our family together, we spoke to our children.
We got our grandchildren all together,
and we said, "What do you think?
"Do you think pop should run for president?"
And to a grandchild, they said, "Pop has to run.
"He has to change the direction, and bring people together,
"and stop all this vitriol in this country."
(crowd applauding) Thank you.
(upbeat jazzy music)