- [Narrator] I like to tell myself that deep down,
my overprotective, suburban, Indian immigrant parents
are still rebels with a cause.
That's because 50 years ago, they fell in love
and married across caste lines.
- [Kavita] Hi.
- [Indra] How are you guys?
- [Kavita] Good! How are you? Hi, dad.
- [Bala] Hello.
- [Indra] In 1969, for two people of different caste
to get married was considered very scandalous.
- [Bala] It's not scandalous, it was not common.
- [Indra] That is why it was scandalous.
Anything which was rare was scandalous.
- [Narrator] My parents, Indra and Bala Pillay
now live in Hingham, Massachusetts,
but they're from the South Indian state of Kerala.
Kerala has Indias highest literacy
and life expectancy rates,
and it's known for being highly progressive
compared with the rest of India.
- [Indra] His family went insane.
They were ready to disown him.
His family said things like,
I may have performed some black magic
to make him fall for me.
- [Bala] I told them, listen, I don't care
about what all these relatives are talking about.
I love her, I want to marry her.
You may not like it, I'm sorry.
If you don't like it, you can go to hell.
- [Narrator] To my American ears, it sounds
brave and romantic.
That's because my dad is from the Nair caste.
Nairs are a dominant caste in Kerala.
Many consider themselves to be the descendants
of warriors and landowners.
My mom, on the other hand,
is from a lower caste called the Ezhavas.
Once upon a time, it was unthinkable for even the shadow
of someone from my mom's caste
to touch someone from my dad's caste.
What was unimaginable to my grandparents became possible
only because my parents met in medical school.
They were both doctors, they saw each other as equals.
- [Indra] We decided to come to the U.S.
to escape the feuding families.
- [Narrator] I grew up in America, not thinking about caste.
My Indian-American friends and I didn't have to,
probably because the vast majority of Indian-Americans
are like my dad,
and come from generations of caste privilege.
That privilege helps pave the way for our parents, us,
and our children to do well in this country.
(background Indian music)
It turns out that there are Indians who still
embrace their caste status, even in America.
Which is what brought me to a resort outside Chicago,
surrounded by golf courses and McMansions
for the Nair Service Society of North America's convention.
(clatter in Indian language)
The original Nair Service Society, or NSS,
was founded a century ago in Kerala.
M.N.C. Nair is the outgoing president
of the NSS of North America.
This is the organization's third major gathering.
About 60 Nair families attended the past two conventions.
(applause)
- [Male Speaker] We have 182 families being here,
(applause)
And that shows promise for the future.
I'm getting goosebumps, I'm not kidding.
- [Narrator] The convention schedule is non-stop.
There are sarees for sale, a women's empowerment seminar,
a fashion show,
even a competition for the title
of Mrs. and Mr. Nair.
- [Female Speaker] Mrs. and Mr. Nair of Nair Sangamam 2003.
- [Narrator] I ask everyone I meet the same question-
What brings you here?
- [Male Voice] Just meeting old friends,
and for our children, keep our culture values alive.
- [Male Voice 2] Not like we're trying to discriminate,
but trying to get ourselves together and be one.
- [Female Voice] You want to learn about your culture
and your community, know what being an Indian is about,
especially born and brought up here.
- [Narrator] Culture and community are recurring words
at this convention,
but this is a gathering of people of the same caste,
and people here feel a lot of pride in being Nairs.
- [Female Voice] Nairs is a very unique,
and very privileged community from the state of Kerala.
- [Male Voice 3] Kerala owes many things
to the Nair community.
- [Male Speaker] Yes, I repeat that all Nairs are leaders.
Leaders don't want to be told what to do...
- [Narrator] On the second day, there is a rambling seminar
that intertwines religious history
with what's meant to be career advice.
(male speaking over microphone)
But at the end, the speaker begins
comparing the caste system to different divisions
in a company.
(male speaking over microphone)
It's a muddled explanation- both a justification of caste,
and a dismissal of it's realities.
- [Male Speaker] And that has nothing to do with
the caste system as people are
wrongly understanding in India.
This is a universal pattern...
- [Narrator] Over the course of several more panels,
it's not clear whether anyone in this setting
disagrees with his stance,
until...
- [Shreya] The hierarchal standards
that are practiced in our Hindu religion
do not align with my beliefs on inclusivity...
- [Narrator] Shreya Menon is a young accounting student
from New York.
She begins her question by stating that she is a proud Hindu
but...
- [Shreya] I am uncomfortable with practicing
the segregation that comes with being
part of the cast system, so my question is:
What can NSS do to align with the youths beliefs,
so that we can one day be proud, be very proud
to carry on this organization into the future?
- [Male Speaker] Thank you, Shreya for asking this
very important question, in fact...
- [Narrator] The person designated to answer
Shreya's question confesses his own discomfort with caste.
- [Male Speaker] Yes, it has got a little inhuman quality,
- [Narrator] He says it was originally
about division of labor, but should be abolished.
- [Male Speaker] But now, there is reverse discrimination
in Kerala, and so it is time that NSS should take
an active step in trying to bring everything to parity.
- [Narrator] So-called 'reverse discrimination.'
India has the world's oldest affirmative action program,
and nearly all of the Indian immigrants
I speak with at the convention complain that it helps
Dalits and lower castes get jobs and into universities,
but makes it harder for Nairs.
This is a widespread sentiment among
upper and dominant caste Indians.
(Indian music)
Fifty years ago, my parents thought that
caste was on it's way to becoming an artifact of history.
As it turns out, the Nair Service Society of North America
embraces the tradition of marrying within the caste.
They've launched their own match-making website
called 'Matrimony for Nairs,'
with well over 200 potential brides and grooms.
For The World, I'm Kavita Pillay.