>>>
>>> WELL,
>>> WELL, WELCOME BACK. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT NEGATIVE
TALK AND ALL DAY LONG HOW WE
ARE IN THIS CONSTANT DIALOGUE
WITH ONE PERSON, OURSELVES.
WE ARE LUCKY THAT CARA KNEER IS
STILL HERE.
STILL HERE. AND WELCOME KRISTEN AND ERIN
EDDIE!
EDDIE!
EDDIE! WITH DECIDED THIS IS AN
IMPORTANT SUBJECT TO TALK
ABOUT.
ABOUT.
ABOUT. >>
ABOUT. >> NO-BRAINER.
>> NO-BRAINER. >> WHEN WE ARE TELLING
OURSELVES AND BEING NEGATIVE OR
SAYING MESSAGES THAT REALLY
KIND OF KEEP SPIRITUALING AND
KEEPING US DOWN, HOW DO WE
STOP IT?
STOP IT?
STOP IT? >> WELL, I THINK FIRST OF ALL
WE NEED TO KNOW THEY ARE THERE.
A LOT OF TIMES WE DON'T KNOW
WHAT THEY ARE ANYMORE BECAUSE
THEY HAVE SO ENGRAINED IN US.
SO I TELL MY CLIENT, IDENTIFY
THEY ARE THERE.
IF THEY ARE THERE THEY WILL
EFFECT YOU IN A NEGATIVE WAY
AND THERE IS NO WAY YOU WILL
LIVE UP TO YOUR FULLEST
POTENTIAL IF THEY ARE THERE SO
WE HAVE TO STAMP IT OUT.
>> WHAT ABOUT YOU?
>> WELL, I HAVE A DRY ERASE
MARKER.
MARKER.
MARKER. I
MARKER. I GUESS THIS IS PRACTICAL.
I WROTE ON THE MIRROR EVERY
SINGLE NEGATIVE THOUGHT THAT I
SAW MYSELF AS AND WHAT OTHER
PEOPLE SPOKE OF ME.
I SPOKE TRUTH ABOUT THOSE
THOUGHTS.
THOUGHTS.
THOUGHTS. I CAN GOING TO SAY NO TO THAT
THOUGHT.
>>
>> YES.
>> YES. YOU KNOW, HOME IS WHERE THE
HEART IS.
HEART IS.
HEART IS. YOU MAKE YOUR SURROUNDINGS AND
THE DRAMA.
THE DRAMA. A LOT OF INSTANCES, NOT
EVERYTHING, BUT.
EVERYTHING, BUT. >> I AGREE.
IT ALL STARTS IN HERE.
AND SO THE AUTHOR OF THIS
ARTICLE SAYS THERE ARE THINGS
WE NEED TO AVOID, COMMON
PHRASES.
PHRASES.
PHRASES. KIND OF GETTING TO YOUR POINT
AND WINDING IT DOWN.
I THINK THAT IS A GREAT IDEA.
INSTEAD OF I SHOULD BE BLANK BY
NOW.
NOW.
NOW. TRY
NOW. TRY I COULD BE BLANK RIGHT NOW
AND I AM CHOOSING TO BE INSTEAD
OF, YOU KNOW, SAYING I SHOULD
BE.
BE.
BE. I
BE. I SHOULD BE.
DON'T SHOULD HAVE, COULD HAVE,
WOULD HAVE.
WOULD HAVE. KIND OF AGAIN FLIP THE VERY
DAMAGE IN YOUR HEAD.
HOW EASY IS THAT TO DO?
>> IT IS VERY EASY BUT I THINK
WE AS WOMEN, WE UNDERESTIMATE
THE POWER WE HAVE MENTALLY TO
PULL OURSELVES BACK INTO THE
PROCESS.
PROCESS.
PROCESS. >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. WHAT ABOUT FOR YOU GUYS.
HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU CATCH
YOURSELF, CARA, I KNOW WE
TALK ABOUT THIS.
I DON'T THINK I CATCH MYSELF
SAYING I SHOULD BE DOING THIS.
>> WELL, I DON'T WANT TO FEEL
BAD
BAD
BAD >>
BAD >> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. YOU CAN DO THAT ABOUT
EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE.
RIGHT?
RIGHT?
RIGHT? >>
RIGHT? >> FOR SURE.
>> RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE THAT.
>> I CATCH MYSELF.
I THINK I DO IT AND DON'T EVEN
REALIZE.
REALIZE.
REALIZE. I THINK WE NEED TO MAKE A
SILENT AGREEMENT TO OURSELVES.
CATCHING IT EARLY -- I CAUGHT
IT EARLY, BUT IN MY CAREER FOR
SURE, I SHOULD BE HERE BY NOW
OR I SHOULD BE DOING THIS MORE.
>> SAYS WHO?
>> WHO IS TELLING YOU THAT?
>> EXACTLY
>> EXACTLY >> AND ANOTHER ONE THEY SAY IS
INSTEAD OF IT IS ALL MY FAULT,
WHY DON'T YOU TRY I PLAYED A
PART IN THE SITUATION AND I AM
ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN
DECISIONS AND ACTIONS.
YOU WANT TO COME FROM A PLACE
OF OBSERVATION AND ACKNOWLEDGE
THE WORLD YOU HAVE.
IN THE SITUATION AND NOTHING
FURTHER.
FURTHER.
FURTHER. THAT IS TOUGH TO DO
>> IT IS.
>>
>> YES.
>> YES. I
>> YES. I START PEELING BACK THE LAYERS
AND IT IS LIKE OH, MY GOSH.
THAT FORCES YOU TO ACT IN THOSE
NEGATIVE WAY, TOO.
HOW DO YOU BREAK OUT OF THE
CHAIN?
CHAIN?
CHAIN? >>
CHAIN? >> FIRST, OWN IT.
I MEAN, OKAY, HERE IS MY
PATH.
PATH.
PATH. I
PATH. I HAD TO GO BACK AND OWN IT.
THIS IS PART OF MY STORY.
I DON'T WANT TO IT BE PART OF
MY STORY, BUT THIS IS PART OF
MY STORY AND I AM GOING TO OWN
IT AND FORGIVE MYSELF AND MOVE
FORWARD.
FORWARD.
FORWARD. >> MOVE FORWARD, RIGHT.
>> I THINK IT WAS LIKE A
CONVERSATION FOR SO LONG, BUT
EVERYTHING WAS FINE.
YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW? EVERYTHING WAS -- WE WEREN'T AS
OPEN TO TALK ABOUT MENTAL
HEALTH AND ALL THESE THINGS NOW
WE ARE STARTING TO EXPLORE NOW.
I KNOW FROM MY MOM'S
GENERATION, I FEEL SO BAD, I
WILL PROBABLY GIVE IT BACK TEN-
FOLD WITH MY CHILDREN.
I WOULD ALWAYS EMBARRASS HER
BECAUSE I WOULD SAY THINGS SHE
DIDN'T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW.
SHE WAS VERY PRIVATE.
SHE FELT SHAME -- EVEN THOUGH
THERE WAS NOTHING SHAMEFUL
ABOUT IT -- IN MY OPINION.
BUT SHE WOULD BE LIKE WHAT?
YOU SAID WHAT?
I THINK NOW IT IS OKAY TO
REALIZE WE ARE ALL HUMAN AND WE
ALL SHARE IN THIS HUMAN
EXISTENCE AND CRAPPY THINGS
HAPPEN.
HAPPEN.
HAPPEN. IT IS NOT ALWAYS OUR FAULT.
>> BUT WE HAVE TO FIRST AC
KNOWLEDGE IT AND THEN WORK
THROUGH IT.
THROUGH IT. THIS LAST ONE, AND I HAVE A
QUESTION FOR YOU, IS INSTEAD
OF I NEVER SHOULD HAVE, TRY IF
THAT HADN'T HAVE HAPPENED I --
KIND OF LEAVE IT OPEN ENDED.
MEANING IF SOMETHING WOULD NOT
HAVE HAPPENED, IF YOU WOULD
HAVE NEVER MET THIS PERSON OR
HAD THAT EXPERIENCE YOU WOULD
NOT BE WHERE YOU ARE TODAY
WHICH IS HOPEFULLY A GOOD
THING.
THING.
THING. HOW DO WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO
SEE THE NEGATIVE SIDE OF
NEGATIVE PAST EXPERIENCES?
WHAT IT WAS, BUT THEN LOOK AT
THE OUTCOME NOW?
I THINK THAT FOR ME SPEAKING IS
AGE AND EXPERIENCE, FINALLY
SAYING I SEE WHY I WAS A JERK
FOR A LITTLE BIT.
LOOK WHERE I AM NOW THAT MAKES
ME SO APPRECIATIVE.
>> SURE.
>> SURE.
>> SURE. >> I IMAGINE THAT CAN BE
DIFFICULT BUT SOMETHING HAPPENS
WITH AGE AND EXPERIENCE.
>> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. TIME IS REALLY SOMETHING.
THE PAIN I HAVE GONE THROUGH IN
THE PAST NOW HAS ME ABLE TO
WALK THROUGH THAT PAIN WITH
FRIENDS WHO ARE WALKING THROUGH
IT BECAUSE I KNOW THAT FEELING
RIGHT.
RIGHT.
RIGHT. >>
RIGHT. >> IT IS LIKE REDEEM YOUR OWN
STORY.
STORY.
STORY. >>
STORY. >> MY QUESTION IS OPENING
YOURSELF TO PAST EXPERIENCES,
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO PEOPLE THAT
ALMOST DON'T WANT TO GO BACK
AND EXPLORE BECAUSE MAYBE THEY
ARE FEELING GOOD ABOUT THINGS
RIGHT AT THE VERY MOMENT?
HOW DO YOU ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO
OPEN UP AND SAY, YOU KNOW, IT
IS OKAY TO SEEM HELP AND TALK
ABOUT SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU
MIGHT BE SURPRISED WHAT YOU
FIND OUT.
FIND OUT.
FIND OUT. >> I THINK WE AS WOMEN LIVE OUR
BEST LIVES WHEN WE ARE 100%
REAL.
REAL.
REAL. WE
REAL. WE DON'T HAVE TO TAP DANCE FOR
ANYBODY, FAKE IT FOR ANYBODY.
WE ARE LIVING ABSOLUTELY REAL
AND I THINK THAT WHEN WE TRY TO
DENY THE PAST AND, YOU KNOW,
WE ARE NOT LIVING AT OUR BEST,
OUR BEST LIFE, WE ARE NOT
LIVING AT OUR FULLEST
POTENTIAL BECAUSE BEING 100%
GENUINE IS WHERE WE ARE THE
BEST.
BEST.
BEST. >>
BEST. >> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. SOMETIMES WE DON'T WANT TO
NECESSARILY OPEN UP THE WOUNDS
AND PUT IN THE WORK, BUT WHERE
YOU CAN BE AFTER THAT IS, EN,
IMPORTANT.
IMPORTANT. IT REALLY BRINGS US TO SEEING
THE JOY IN THE DECISIONS AND
THE LIFE THAT YOU LEAD.
WE WANT YOU TO WEIGH IN.
I THINK TRENT PUT UP A FACEBOOK
PAGE ON REAL TALK KIND OF
WANTING YOU TO COMMENT ABOUT
THE NEGATIVE SELF TALK.
PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOU KIND
OF TALK TO US ABOUT WHAT