today we're gonna be talking about Jeffree star and the wonderful topics of
anger management as well as accountability what is up everybody this
is Chris from the rewired so where we talked about the problem but focus on
the solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is all about mental
health and what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube
community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional
well-being so if any of that stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that
notification bell because I'll make a ton a ton of videos alright and yeah I
wanted to make this video not only because there's a bunch of stuff going
on with Jeffree star that we can learn from but there was something I left out
of my recent book rewire your anger and now gives me the perfect opportunity to
discuss but by the way if you haven't grab your copy of rewire your anger it's
always link down in the description I do have an audiobook form now so now
you can get it for $7.99 and it comes with the e-book as well if you want to
follow along or whatever link down in the description alright so yeah anyways
Jeffery star is in the news again but for those of you who don't know
what's going on Jeffery star in this video that I have up behind me he was
reading hate comments in ASMR and basically he didn't blur out any of the
names in there and somebody called him a homophobic slur
which is not very nice okay so anyways the person said that they were gonna
take legal action because you know they didn't want the family to know they're
homophobic something ridiculous like that and anyways there's a bunch of
stuff going on I actually just finished watching the Spill video on it and even
though like people think I hate her I don't cool channel I love it and yeah
don't watch the video I made about her a while ago
anyways if you want to get caught up on that it's a really good video she
actually talks a lot about like psychology and why people like hate
watch I hate follow people and all sorts of stuff alright
anyways the first topic that I want to talk about it's something that I keep
preaching you something that my co-host Mac and I actually talked about in our
podcast yesterday which is something that a lot of people don't like to have
it's something that I didn't like to have which is account ability okay like
the internet gives us this this platform in which we feel anonymous we feel like
oh my god nothing could stop me right and we just run around all willy-nilly
saying like whatever we want to say and like you have to be accountable for that
like go back to the golden rule I teach you guys this all the time the golden
rule don't be a dick alright like have this person had this person followed the
golden rule of not being a dick none of this would have happened
like for example something that I talked about in rewire your anger is quit
causing your own problems right like we think that the world's out to get us we
think that people are trying to hurt us or whatever and we refuse to take a look
back we refuse to follow those breadcrumbs and say oh my god I set
these wheels in motion like had I not left that dumb comment right and I not
left that hateful comment somebody like Geoffrey Stark
never ever ever would have had the opportunity to put me on blast in one of
these videos in front of millions of people but we refuse to think like that
right we have to look at our own actions and how it's causing our own problems
which is something that is so so so so hard for people to do but let me tell
you let me tell you this like from somebody with a lot of experience from
causing a lot of my home problems it is so amazing like once you start
pausing and playing the tape through and thinking worst case scenario like if I'm
a dick in this situation what what could happen what can possibly happen what is
the worst case scenario if you play that through and you can't handle the
potential consequences guess what don't do it okay like this is something
that Gaby Hannah actually dealt with last year and I made a whole video about
like why Jeffrey star gets a pass and people like Gaby Hannah don't like Gaby
Hannah you know on Instagram she she she said you know she did something like she
she posted somebody's like comment and like and people lost their mind okay
Jeffrey star does this kind of stuff all the time he retweets people you know he
just did this video and stuff like so I just want you to I just want you to let
that soak in for a minute but like when you're running around like leaving hate
comments and all those things like I just know like when I post comments on
the screen most of the time most of the time I added it out but there are people
like Jeffrey who are not gonna be that nice alright and like you know
personally personally I'm glad I'm glad that their creators out there who are
doing this like I've thought about it a lot lately like why do people leave
these comments why do people leave hate comments and all that and although Spill
talked about some very good subjects and hers I think one of the reasons so many
people like hate watch and leave hate comments and all sorts of stuff is
because on a platform like YouTube or even social media like Twitter or
Instagram I think you do it because a part of you knows that the person might
see it right like if you were to go like I don't know
tweet at George Clooney I don't even know George frickin Clooney has a
Twitter but like there's a good chance he's never gonna see that right but I
think I think a part of people know like and you can let me know down in the
comments like analyze yourself real quick there's a part of you know that
the creator might see it like you leave that comments like I hope I hope he sees
this right but anyways like I am I am never ever ever ever ever ever going to
say oh you shouldn't have done that and like the we we have this weird of
community here on YouTube where where you believe that you know creators are
like you know using their like army of followers to go harass people and stuff
like that like in some cases in some cases that might be true but in other
cases there are just people who have loyal followings and they stick up for
the creators that they enjoy alright so again again if you don't want that to
come your way quit being a dick alright anyways the second subject
that I want to talk about and this is a subject I I left out of rewire your
anger but I wanted to talk about it here is Jeffrey star mentions being a sponge
like being a sponge for people who are sending hatred your way like do your
thing right like although like I might sass some comments and stuff like that
like I am empathetic I know like I used to be I used to be the guy leaving hate
comments and I can tell you for a fact it's because my life was miserable okay
like my life was miserable I didn't like me I didn't like myself and a lot of
that went outwards so there's something that I keep in mind when I read these
comments alright anyways going back to being a sponge like real quick story
time when I first got clean and sober six and a half years ago like a lot a
lot like 98% of the people in my life did not like me
some of them even hated me all right and it took me a long time to rebuild these
relationships some of them never got rebuilt and I'm ok with that
like I hurt those people and I set that because I was taught accountability like
I had to learn that no matter how much work I do all myself there are some
people who don't like me like I know you guys watching this right now you're like
dang Chris I love you you're a good guy but trust me there are people who knew
me a long time ago who still don't like me because they remember a very
different version of Chris and that's ok but there is one story that sticks out
in my mind where you know obviously I did hurt people and they attack me and
stuff and it hurt my feelings it hurt my feelings a lot like I was
trying so hard to better myself become a better person do all these things and I
remember venting to a mentor of mine all the time I'm like God dude like I'm
trying so hard I'm trying so so so hard to be a better person and this person
keeps calling me a piece of garbage and keep saying this I keep bringing up my
path and all this and he would remind me because he was keeping me accountable
he's like Chris do you think do you think that person has any reason that
they'd still be mad at you and I'm like ok alright you right I did I did quite a
few things and this is something that you see a lot in people who are trying
to better their it's not just addiction recovery but you
know we cause damage we caused this wreckage for years for years and then
all of a sudden we decide to work on ourselves and it's been like 30 or 60
days and we expect all to be forgiven right so I started to accept that this
person in particular was still gonna be angry at me and I never knew there were
gonna not be angry at me but when I started to do was I started to not
respond right I started to not respond my because we get this thing in our head
like if somebody comes at us like we have to attack that part of that can be
explained with neuroscience when we get attacked an amygdala goes off fight
flight or freeze some of us get into the fight response and we lash out we lash
back right and I realized that I was only making things worse right like
something I talk about in rewire your anger is don't text don't call like my
relationship with this person is great now but I think it's because a lot of
the text messages I didn't send but anyways this person kept calling me a
piece of crap kept calling me a piece of garbage and all these other things and I
just soaked it in like Geoffrey starr said I just soaked it in like a sponge
and I'm like and I just said hey I'm sorry
like sorry sorry like you know I I apologize I made my amends I did
everything I could unless like alright you know and they just kept attacking
and what I realized was they were starting to wear themselves out alright
and this seems like like I don't know it seems like a bad idea it seems like you
know our ego doesn't want this to happen our ego doesn't want to just let
somebody keep you know you know attacking us without us attacking back
but let me tell you like and this is all case-by-case situation too but let me
tell you this person just kept attacking kept attacking and you got to understand
if they keep attacking you and you are continuing to work on yourself and rise
above eventually it clicks for them they're like why am I being such a dick
to this person who is trying so hard to become a better person and the other
thing I realized too is other people in that person's life started to say hey
why are you being so mean to Chris he is trying really really hard so sometimes
just by keeping our mouth shut and not attacking back other people around us
will start to stand up for us and this kind of goes back to what I was just
saying creators will often have their fans you know stick up for them now
there are people who are very very sensitive and they dish it out and they
don't like to take it and when they see people sticking up for them like oh my
god quit attacking me but no like don't like don't be a dick don't start it
right but anyways I just want to let you know if you want somebody who has messed
up in your past and you are legitimately trying to be a good person just keep
your eye on the prize keep your eye on the prize of being a better person and
eventually other people are gonna look worse because the world is going to see
that you are trying to be a better person
alright but anyways anyways let me know down in the comments below do you have a
hard time not you know just soaking it in like a sponge is that something
difficult for you and then let's have a conversation like why why do you think
that is alright anyways that's all I got for this video if you like this video
please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and bring that
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and A's and all that you can click the top right there alright thanks so much
for watching I'll see you next time