(gentle music)
- My English name is Seo Kelleher.
My Korean name is Choi Seo Hee.
So when I came to the States, it's 1991.
And as a 15 year old who doesn't speak English well,
being in a high school,
and the way Seo is spelled is S-E-O.
So having to correct the pronunciation again and again,
and again, just felt really frustrating.
So I said, "Well, people are saying Seo,
just call me Seo, it's fine."
So that was many, many years ago.
And now the name stuck as Seo Kelleher.
I think our age, especially we are product of assimilation.
So there is a lot the pressure to assimilate
and not highlight our foreignness.
So I feel like that's why I didn't wanna be like,
"Oh, it's Seo Hee, Seo Hee, Seo Hee."
Like, whatever that's easier for majority of people
in the room to say, I'll just answer to it, right?
I felt like that's kind of a way that assimilation,
like, you just go along with the mainstream way,
go along with what most people in the room,
probably white people, feel comfortable.
Don't draw attention to yourself.
So these are some of the conditionings
I feel like I went through without realizing.
So I felt like I was making a lot of modification
in my life and my way of showing up,
to make people, mainstream people comfortable.
I grew up in Seoul, Korea.
So in the middle of very hustle and bustle of a city,
and then I came to the States in 1991.
I didn't realize how hard it was
until now looking back as an adult.
And now I'm a healer,
I could look back and appreciate
that being 15 is already very difficult.
And then you throw in the culture shock
and language barrier,
and then pressure to do well in school no matter what,
was really challenging, I think, and I loved my friends.
I had a huge community of friends and I love,
I was very active in my life in Korea,
so being able to just being someone
in such a beautiful community and then come to America,
and then all of a sudden become nobody, right?
Nobody, just nobody.
That was really difficult for me.
The hardest part about being a teenager at the time
and living alone in America,
was the lack of community and support.
Sure, there were some Korean churches that you could go to,
but that's very religious environment.
Sure, there are friends in school,
but I remember what it was like
to have a real community back home.
So I was really, really homesick
and just wanted that sisterhood, you know?
Like we were just, we felt invincible.
When you have that kind of sisterhood, you feel invincible.
And I miss that a lot just here.
So I'm a Korean American shaman and I'm a publisher.
I really claim the label Korean American shaman.
That used to be difficult before
because there was a lot of stigma around shamans
or being Koreans shamans.
Even in Korean culture and in American culture.
So I used to call myself,
"Oh, I'm a healer or I'm an intuitive coach."
But I've decided to really fully embrace who I am
and you know, my ancestry and the work I do.
So what I consider to be a Korean American shaman
is I'm a Korean American.
I use the gifts and connection to my ancestors
and my indigenous spirituality to help people heal.
So whether that's their mindset or their energy,
or, you know, their past stuff they need to release,
I help them heal, so they could fully kind of show up
into their current life.
I grew up Catholic, going to Catholic church in Korea
and then really didn't go to church
or didn't have religious practice.
Most of my adult life,
I was very much against anything spiritual.
I just didn't believe in stuff like that.
It was all black and white.
Everything had to be logical,
anyone who talking about vibes or energy,
I'm like, "Whatever.
Just whatever, they don't know what they're talking about."
So for me to really now call myself a shaman
is a huge shift.
So I used to be non-spiritual.
I had a corporate job.
So I went through all the things that's what expected
of a good Korean American should be a kid.
Straight As, get good grades, go to school, get a good job.
As soon as you start making money, try to make more money,
get promoted, buy a house, find a husband.
So I started doing those life,
and then it just got to a place,
in my thirties I realized, "Wow. So, okay.
I did everything and I'm miserable.
So if I checked everything
and this is what I have to look for to,
for the next 30, 40 years, I'm not really happy."
So I ended up leaving the corporate world.
Things started happening, I started having visions.
I started manifesting really well.
You know, I'll say I want something,
and then it would just appear.
Or I'll be talking about the goals I want
and how much money I need,
and then a person listening to it
will be like, "Oh, do you need money?"
And they'll like open a checkbook
and start writing me like a check for $5,000.
Things are just starting to happen where I'm like,
"Oh, what's happening?"
So that's when I started learning about,
oh, there's this thing, there's intuition
and there's manifesting and there's energy.
So I started really practicing and learning more about that.
It feels like I'm having conversation within my head.
People are different,
some people are able to see with physical eye.
I have vision as if you are daydreaming,
you're seeing things in your mind's eye.
I hear voices as if, not with my physical ear,
but like a conversation or a word enters my mind,
and it feels like somebody just said it.
At first I thought I was going crazy
but I tend to be pretty grounded.
I don't really lose my way.
So I did some research and then I find that,
wait, there's this whole world out there,
people who call themselves psychic,
people who call themselves healer,
all this metaphysical world.
So I started that.
I got teachers and coaches.
Also the mediumship,
ability to communicate with the dead, is a gift.
And it can be really healing
to other people who are grieving.
So I learned how to work with those gifts,
because if you don't know how to work with it,
you might get overwhelmed and lose your way.
So even before I call myself Korean shaman
or even shaman or mudang or none of that,
I started calling myself, you know,
I'm intuitive, I'm psychic, I'm a psychic medium.
As I started helping people with all that already.
There's a reason I call myself Korean American shaman.
I think a lot of traditional Korean shamanic practices
is appropriate for people who are in Korea,
but because I am an American
and I live in American and my client base are Americans,
I just feel like, just taking what's traditional in Korea
and plugging it in and me performing.
I don't really, I mean,
my guides are not telling me that's what I need to do.
So my work isn't really duplicating
that traditional ritual here,
and hope that people receive the same benefit from it.
Because that would just mean that I go to Korea
and buy a bunch of stuff and come here
and just kind of, I don't know.
I feel like I'm copying things
but it doesn't feel as authentic to me
because I'm not a Korean living in Korea.
My work has been more as a writer and publisher.
Understanding, kind of seeking out
and understanding this wisdom of our ancestors
and being able to communicate that to my community.
There was a disconnect, right?
Because I'm like, "Why isn't my teacher,
who's a scholar of a Korean shamanism,
publishing a book and it's not available in English?
Why are these non Koreans publishing books?"
That's the only books available.
So all what we perceived to be Korean traditional culture
haven't filtered through the lens of patriarchy,
Christianity or-
- Colonialism. - Like westernization,
colonialism.
But then that doesn't mean that's all there is.
There's 4,500 years worth of wisdom there.
So could I possibly introduce some of that
without filtering it through that mainstream lens?
Could I make that available to the seekers?
Hopefully Korean-American seekers here,
because I'm bilingual and because I'm bicultural.
My name is Seo Kelleher,
and this is my Korean-American story.
(gentle music)