Hey there, this is Clay, and today I'm going to be talking about how to convince your ex
that you really change, that you're a different person, that you are a new person, that you're
a better person, that you're a kind of person that they don't want to have a relationship
with and you know, a lot of people by the time they've found their way here to watching
a video like this or to being on our newsletter.
They've already tried to convince their ex that they've changed, but that doesn't work.
And I want to tell you why that doesn't work.
And that's because, you know, a lot of people may have actually changed.
Maybe they have changed, but all they have to back that up is good intentions.
All they have is good intentions with nothing to show for it.
And really, at the end of the day, all people can really judge you by, are your actions
what you do?
You know, it's like, it's like the tree, it's like a tree.
The tree starts out as a seed and that seed could have the very best intentions.
It can have the intentions of becoming a giant tree that gives fruit and shade and light
and maybe not like, but, you know, it could provide a life to all kinds of creatures,
through, through, you know, its own seeds through its fruit, through, the bark creatures,
bugs, insects, birds can live in the bark.
You know, can can shade people on, on hot summer days.
It can do all kinds of things.
But until that tree, until that seed grows into a tree, it means nothing.
It means nothing.
So what matters more are the actions that you take, the things that you follow through
on, not so much the, the intentions that you have.
You know, every time there's like a natural disaster or something like that.
You always hear some people, they're like, aw, man, that was so terrible.
All those children, you know, so I, I feel, I feel so bad in my heart.
I'm a good person because I feel bad for them in my heart, but, but that doesn't really,
that doesn't really make any difference.
It doesn't change anything.
You know, there's still people out there whose, whose lives have been destroyed, still dying,
still starving just because you feel bad just because you, you, you feel like you're a good
person.
All that does is just gives you the right to pat yourself on the back.
And it doesn't make a lick of difference in the world.
However, if you actually do something about it, if you give money to a charity, if you
go volunteer your time or effort to help rebuild, whatever situation happened, those are actual
deeds.
Those are actual actions that, that can have a measurable result and can really show someone
that you are that kind of person, that you're not just all talk, that you're not just, you
know, saying something to make yourself feel better saying something.
Because it's socially acceptable to say that or anything like that.
And the same goes with your relationship, you know, just because your, your ex, you
know, dumped you because they said you weren't like emotionally available or, or whatever.
I don't know.
but, and, and you start calling him like, yeah, I'm so emotionally available.
I'm, I'm here for you now, baby.
Yeah, let's talk about our feelings or something like that.
That doesn't, that doesn't change anything.
Like you have to actually have the actions and deeds that follow through on that.
You have to do that.
You have to be the person who's there to comfort them when they're crying.
You have to be the person that's there to listen to them when they've had a bad day
or a good day or something happened or something didn't happen.
You have to actually have the actions that follow through on this change that you've
supposedly made.
And that's the reason why we recommend active no contact.
It's not just like regular, no contact, passive, no contacted everyone else suggest you do
that.
Everyone else recommends that you do.
Where, where you just kind of cut ties and get back in touch with me?
Oh yeah, man, I changed.
I'm like all this better person.
No, no.
You actually have to become the better person.
You have to actually put in that time.
You have to spend that month of active, no contact or those two months or however long
you decide to do it, actually doing the things that you need to do in order to take your
life in a better direction, you have to put in the work so that you can become the kind
of person that, that really deserves the kind of relationship that you want, that really
demonstrates to your ex that you have become this new person, that you've become a changed
person and that it, that's demonstrated through your actions.
You know?
Yes, look, I actually lost 10 pounds.
Look, I actually got a new job.
I got a promotion.
You know, look, I can play the guitar now for the first time ever.
Here's a scale that I learned how to play.
And, and when you put in the work, when it's demonstrated will, that things are different,
that you have changed, then that is when there'll be able to see that you actually have done
it.
And that's when they'll actually be able to have that space in their mind and their heart,
to really consider giving you another chance to really consider a working things out with
you and to have a new and better relationship with you.
It can't just be all talk.
And so that's one of the main reasons why we advocate the active no.
Contactful.
So I hope that helps you understand, why you have to be the change while you have to actually
put in the work.
It's, it's the difference between a tiny seed hoping to one day be a tree and an actual
tree that has grown and is willing to give its gifts to the world, whether that be fruit,
whether that be shade, whether that be shelter.
So I hope this makes sense to you and I hope you can take this and apply this to life and
I hope it really gives you the motivation and the inspiration to go out there and make
a positive change in your life.
If you'd like to learn more about how to do this, how to be the change, how to really,
be the tree and not just the seed and how to have actions that, that really show your
ex and the world around you, that you're a new and different, better person than please
head on over to relationshipinnergame.com and sign up there so that we can give you
more free tips and advice on how to do this.
Thanks.