Dear Tripp, I found your podcast about a month ago, it is fantastic. My wife left
me at Christmas (ouch) after a 16 year marriage. I find myself in the dating game once again at 41.
I want to make a note here. I've been doing a lot of research lately. There was a 2015
study that showed that it was two thirds of women, two thirds of women
initiate divorce. And then the college educated women who are in marriages,
they initiate 90% of divorce. That doesn't mean you're 90% chance of getting a divorce.
It's that in 90% of those marriages when there is a divorce, it's initiated by college educated
women. Interesting. He says, I recently went out to a singles event for the first time since 2005
and I found the women I approached really cold borderline rude. For example, when I'd say "You
look pretty" they'd say, "Yeah, I know, I get that a lot." Or I'd say, "Hi, I love your style.
You look good." They'd say, "Yeah, I know." I would then just keep the conversation friendly
and positive, but when they start being negative about my age, or my hobbies, etc, I'd say okay,
lovely to meet you, have a great night to which they'd reply "I always do." Ha-ha relentless. Any
tips for dealing with this negative sass? Or is this a shit test? Or are they just being mean to
get me to leave? Great podcast. Prodigy 41, Essex England. PS sorry for the old school PUA name.
Cool. Prodigy. Love it. From England, for that matter. A lot of things to say here. First of all,
it's interesting because you said old school PUA names so I wonder what you were learning
back then. Because the things that you're talking about now that you're doing, they're not PUA at
all and they're not game in either way. Not that I consider myself a PUA or any of this stuff,
but it's all related. This is not the way to start a conversation. Remember guys,
women get a lot of validation in their life. I said this earlier. They get validation
everywhere. From all the likes on their Instagram, to the approaches that are being done, to the
fact that there's probably 30 other guys saying that you look pretty and at an event like this,
and all the attention they're getting on the dating apps. So I don't blame them when you
say you look pretty and then they say, "Yeah, I know, I get that a lot." They're sick of it. Dude,
I'm telling you if you were in their situation, and you were a guy who was getting hit on all
the time by women, which sounds fantastic, but if you were, and let's imagine you're not interested
in most of them, and they all say, "You look really cute", you would be sick of it eventually.
My point here is, we don't want to give women more of this validation. Sounds like
a dick move. It's not, they get enough. They don't need it from you and it doesn't work. And I'm
interested and you should be interested in things that work, that get results. And giving validation
doesn't work. That's why I've been saying, for the past few years now,
compliments are a no go. We don't compliment. We don't need to give validation because it doesn't
work and there's just no reason to do it. It's an easy way out to start conversation. That's
my first piece of advice, stop complimenting women, especially when you're doing an opener.
And don't compliment them on their style. And by the way,
if you've been a longtime listener, I know that I've said some of these things in the past,
but we're evolving. This is like one of those things, and I do not have a lot of them at all,
it's just one of those things that has evolved in my advice. Most of my advices pretty much stayed
the same. This is one that I've changed my mind on a lot and it's just this little tweak. We're
just not going to open up with "Hey, you look cute and I wanted to say hi." Or you look pretty or I
love your style, you look good. We're not gonna do that. Now, when you said here, you would keep
the conversation friendly and positive and they'd start being negative about your age and hobbies.
My guess is they were doing that for, one, because you came in and you gave a bunch of validation and
they just didn't want to hear it. It didn't work with them. Also, it's possible, and I don't know
for sure because it wasn't in the conversation, that if you are saying things like compliments
to open maybe you're also doing other things in the conversation that are just boring or generic
or you're just talking about the same things over and over that most women hear about and
they just didn't want to talk to you. I think that they are being mean. But I think that no matter
what, it's also a shit test, which you said. You said, is this a shit test or are they just
being mean to get you to leave? It's both. It's probably... no matter what it's a shit test. Any
rude act or something that a woman's saying it's always a shit test. And once in a while,
they also want you to leave. The reason why I always want you to look at it as it should test
is because I want you to practice passing the shit test that they're giving you. Guys,
of those of you who don't know what a shit test is, it's when a woman is testing your masculinity
by giving you a little shit and testing your emotional and mental strength. Are you a guy who's
going to get all sad and defensive? Or are you going to be a guy who's going to completely brush
it off? The way to pass a shit test is to agree plus exaggerate. That's the formula for passing
a shit test. Agree plus exaggerate. An example of a shit test would be her saying, "Oh, that's
a lame hobby." So let's just say you're like, "Yeah, I play a lot of cricket." And they go,
"Really? You play cricket? That's lame." You would agree and exaggerate. Defensive would be the
opposite. Defensive would be "No it's not. It's awesome. How could you ever think that?" You get
defensive, you're putting up walls, you're showing your weakness. You fail. Now in order to pass, you
would agree and exaggerate. "Yeah I know. Crickets like the lamest thing ever. I can't believe I
play that. It's just like, how can I even play something that's so fun." And then you give a
smile. You're just like playfully being sarcastic, agreeing and exaggerating and then moving on.
That's what I want you to do when they are giving you a shit test.
Now, you said here they're being negative about your age or hobbies.
Pass those shit tests. Make sure that you're in conversation. And I want you to focus on not
using the same conversation tactics you've used in the past. Guys, you gotta get Chick
Crack. It's a free video that I've put out, you gotta get it, it also gets you on my email list,
which is amazing, by the way, because I send emails throughout the week giving you more tips
and techniques and good reminders and mindsets. I just literally wrote an email that was,
I don't know, pages and pages long on my whole Instagram strategy on how to meet women and DM
her. There's a lot of cool stuff there. Anyway, if you get my free video called Chick Crack,
you're going to learn in that video the topics of conversation that women love and make conversation
interesting and make it entertaining and they have fun and you have fun and it builds attraction.
If you want to get that video. It's free. www.trippadvice.com/chick-crack. Mr. Prodigi...
start using conversation topics that women respond to, stop giving them validation, and
continue to get out there and not take some of that negative sass so seriously.