Dinner is served.
Chicken nuggets? Bogus, dude. I asked for bangers and mash.
And I clearly recall requesting sardines.
I'm low on my omega-threes.
Well, Lincoln has a friend over,
so Clyde got to pick tonight's dinner.
And I suggested chicken nuggets.
And I said that was a great idea.
Do you guys smell something nasty?
Hey. Hope you're hungry, gang.
I finally perfected my new cabbage casserole.
Wow Daddy, smells great.
Some of your best work, honey.
Wait. I forgot the fish sauce.
It really brings out the sulfur notes. Ha ha ha.
Quick, ditch it before we have eat the fish sauce.
The lies continue.
Ha, wow, you made, uh...
- Potatoes. - Quinoa.
- Turkey. - Chicken.
- Meatloaf. - Baloney.
- Frosted. - Cereal.
- Goulash. - Barf.
Well, bon appetit.
[gagging] Mm. It's, um...
[spitting]
[overlapping chatter]
I can't get it off my tongue!
Okay, leftover hash.
Let's see. A plus for presentation.
A plus for smell and a plus plus for texture.
Delicate, yet chunkie.
Wow. Thanks, kiddo.
Gee, I can't imagine what's keeping Lola.
Let me go check.
How was your day, sweetie?
Oh, um, you know, pageants and uh, glitter,
and um, crowns probably.
Ha, just another day in the life of Lola.
There you go.
[giggling]
What's taking Dad so long?
And hello to my new viewer from Sweden,
or should I say, Valkommen, to the Lynn-ternational Cuisine
Livestream with Chef Loud.
Today, we're making pizza. Oh, wait. They can't see that.
Today, we're making pizza.
Alright, get ready to feast, fam.
Not so fast. I meant feast your eyes.
We'll eat after I take photos for SwiftyPic.
Better take a few, JIC.
Ugh! I can't post these! They're totes ug.
I'm starting over.
[screaming]
And then Mort realized he was drinking regular,
not decaf.
[laughing]
Dinner was delicious, Mom.
Thanks, sweetie.
Yeah, thanks, Mom. I am stuffed.
Well, I hope you saved room for dinner.
Wait. What?
Sister fight protocol. Lori and Leni dine separately.
And we have to eat with them both,
so they don't think we're taking sides.
And then Mort realized he was drinking regular,
not decaf. [laughing]
[laughing]
[arguing]
I'm getting hangry!
Quiet down in there! [sighing]
You got this kiddo.
Mm.
Okay, what you have in front of you,
is Dad's famous Lynn-guini and clams.
It's prepared all dente, in a beurre blanc sauce
and finished with just a hint of parsley.
Bon appetit.
Mm.
Wow. That's your sixth plate tonight, honey.
you must be feeling better.
Oh, yeah. Thanks to this guy.
He helped me see that I shouldn't make
such a big deal about having a critic.
Everyone has 'em, especially you guys.
I think you mean everybody but me.
Well, no, you have that one judge
who says your ribbon routine is weak sauce.
No, no, wait, no, no, lame. No, no, wait.
What was the word she used, Lincoln?
Uninspired.
Bingo. There it is.
[groaning]
Relax, it's not just you.
Lincoln pointed out that you all have a hater.
Tell 'em.
Sure. Well, Lana, the Burt Bean manager thinks
her grandma's piccolo band is better than the Moon Goats.
Lynn, one user thinks you're about as funny
as a stubbed toe.
Dad, Grouse thinks you should stick to lasagne.
Mom, one reader said your advice ruined her life.
And Lisa, some scientists are really over Todd.
Knowing you guys all have critics
sure made me feel better.
Not bad if I do say so myself.
My ideas are not terrible!
Sweetie, what are you talking about?
I pitched ideas for the mayor's reelection campaign
and her meanie campaign manager hated them.
I have good ideas, you know, like new comfy cushions
for all those old lumpy school bus seats.
Now that you mention it, my butt has been numb
since kindergarten.
Keeping stores open past nine.
Has anyone heard of night people?
- Preach. - Or longer green lights?
You can get to the movies in time for the previews.
Wow, sweetie, those are great ideas.
If you were running from mayor,
I'd vote for you if I could vote.
- Me, too. - Me three.
Olives, pepper, baking pan,
other half of baking pan, tape. Stat man, stat.
What are you making, Dad?
I'm not really sure,
but let's just call it Casa Loud Casserole.
Ooh, I have the perfect outfit for that.
Honey, that was delicious.
So good.
Thank you. I think you kids were right.
It's time I started mixing up the menu.
Really?
Yep. In fact, I'm going to the store right now
to get some new Lynn-gredients.
[cheering]
[banging]
Oops, [chuckles]
forgot to put the brake pads back on.
[gasping]
No grubs and onion water?
Not tonight.
Your father and I are celebrating
the great progress we've made.
Yeah. Check out these guns. Bang bang!
We've got another surprise for you.
No exercise tomorrow. You can all sleep late.
[cheering]
Oh, real food, how I've missed you.
Whoa, whoa! Easy, guys.
I don't want anyone to lose a finger.
Dinner!
Oh, no. [gasping]
Okay, Clyde, just ride this out until everyone is done eating.
Actually, this isn't so bad. It's kind of cozy under here.
[farting] Whoo!
My compliments to the chef.
[groaning]
Oh. Oh, hey, Charles. Who's a good boy?
What a snacky? Come on, Charles, eat it.
Charles. No, no, no, I don't even like sausage.
Here, you can have it.
[growling]
[shrieking]
Charles, why are you so mad?
Clyde? Why are you under the table?
[gasping] Lincoln. You invite your friend to dinner
and you don't even give him a chair?
- That's rude. - I didn't invite him.
That's even ruder. Clearly, he's hungry.
Mm mm. Oh, Lynn, your food is just heavenly.
Oh, you're sweet to say that.
Not as sweet as this corn.
[laughing]
I can't have any cause I have braces.
Well, the world better brace itself for your pretty smile.
[laughing]
Oh, Lynn Jr, are those your trophies?
Pop Pop said you were named MVP on six different teams.
Well, technically seven,
but they don't recognize air hockey yet.
Has my paternal forebearer familiarized you
with my achievements?
Oh, you bet. He told me all about your fecal research.
Impressive stuff.
Would you like to see some slides?
Maybe after dinner, sweetie.
[overlapping chatter]
It's not my fault. The recipe is in metric,
and Lisa usually helps me with the conversions.
Thanks to Lincoln, I'm out of the conversion game,
except for converting beans to methane.
[farting]
[growling]
[whimpering]
[gasping]
He must really like you. He only does that to my mom.
Hey, where is mom, anyway?
Ah, she's, uh, in the garage. Yeah, she'll be here any minute.
[chuckles]
I, uh, need to use the bathroom.
Here you go, Miss Lun- Ah!
Gross!
Hi, all. Sorry I'm late.
I was whittling a life sized family sculpture.
That's weird.
Hmm. She's been in the can for a while.
I should go check on her.
No. Never rush someone's bathroom routine.
Better go wash up. BRB.
Wienerschnitzel.
Not to brag, but this tastes exactly
like last Wednesday's. Man, I've got this recipe dialed in.
What are you doing?
Self hypnosis. Maybe I can make myself believe
the Wienerschnitzel tastes like ice cream.
Oh, I want ice cream! Move!
Come up with your own coping mechanism.
No! No, no, no, no!
Whew. That was close. I almost had to order us pizza.
[chuckles]
[overlapping chatter]
There they are.
[imitating drum roll]
Lori, Bobby, we saved you a spot.
No, we saved you a spot.
Um, how about we sit in the middle?
Here, try my turkey skin infused stuffing.
- You're going to love it. - But first, try my tamales.
I added an extra kick.
[chuckles] An extra kick, that's cute.
They don't want heat, they want sweet.
Here kids taste my marshmallow covered potatoes.
Feh, how do you know what they want?
They're clearly craving
my homemade shredded turkey mole.
[groaning]
A weekend at Funny Farm's Clown Camp?
Oh. This is my dream come true.
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
But what's the occasion?
Why do we need an occasion
to spoil our favorite little comedian? Huh?
Oh, wait. It's on April Fool's weekend.
Is it? I, uh, didn't realize.
I don't know if I can be away
from my family on my favorite holiday.
Ah, but think about all that fresh meat
at the camp, just waiting to be pranked.
Oh, you're right.
Well, in that case, I
[laughing] Get it?
[laughing] That is hilarious.
Where do you come up with this stuff?
Whew. I swear I'm gonna pee.
Lincoln, don't oversell it.
Tonight's dinner is leftover leftover hash.
[sniffing] Hmm. Boy, oh, boy, that squid
and sauerkraut sure has gotten pungent.
No, no, don't worry, I got this.
Wow, the squid mixed with the liver
and the Lima beans, separately I was not a fan...
Yes. You made that clear.
But together, it's actually delicious.
Give me that rating card.
A plus. My compliments to the chef.
This is going right on the fridge.
- Well, I'm stuffed. - Me too.
I'd better get started on my homework.
Bobby, I called, like, five minutes ago.
Now that I can read, I thought I'd make us all some pizza.
Pepperoni's in the oven and next up is... pineapple.
[dinging]
Well, isn't this just great?
Just as good as Spunky Pigeons.
So, what's on the menu, father?
Cabbage and fish sauce, back by popular demand.
Hey, what's the matter? Aren't- Aren't you guys hungry?
Dad, I hate to say this,
but thanks to Lisa, we have no choice.
This dish is gross and not in a good way.
It's super gnarly.
It smells like Walt's birdcage.
But- But the other night, you all--
We didn't like it then, either.
After you went to bed, we ordered takeout.
Well, have fun eating cereal for dinner.
[groaning]
[clearing throat]
So, Luan, got any jokes to liven this dinner up a little?
Well, since some people find my jokes pretty forced,
I'd rather not.
Mother, any compelling work stories?
Some say my voice makes them zone out, so I'll pass.
O...kay. Uh, Lori, how about treating us
to some juicy gossip.
Oh, I wouldn't want to annoy anyone
with my stories that go on and on.
Ugh, I'm out of here.
Peas!
Oh, it is on. I mean, grow up, Lincoln.
Good grub, Dad. It reminds me of a song.
Beans, beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more ya...
[farting]
Everybody, now! [farting]
Lincoln Loud, that is enough.
I thought you were ready for the grown up table,
but clearly you are not.
You're a tough lady, mom, but fair. Laters.
Hey, guys, I'm back.
It's good to be home.
What did I miss? Let's
[laughing]
Hey, can I join you guys?
Sure. The more the merrier.
I never knew it was possible
to make it out of the grown up table.
Pss. Can we join, too?
Wow, chicken nuggets. I haven't seen these in years.
There really is no rush to get to the grown up table.
It's gonna happen eventually. So, in the meantime,
might as well enjoy being a kid.
[laughing]
Finally, a little peace and quiet.
Did you say, "Peas"? [laughing]
Last slice of pie. Who wants it?
AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!
Um... I raised my hand.
I can't believe no one else wanted this.
Sigh.
Christmas Eve dinner is served.
[gasping]
[screaming]
Back. Back.
You're not eating my family on Christmas Eve!