If this fellow can be an fboy, I can be an fgirl.
(PD) Hi! Hi!
How did you meet your ex-boyfriend?
How could you ask me such a question?
Fun fact, actually, really sad fact.
Every guy I've dated has been from online,
either dating app or Instagram.
I don't know. This is one of those poly things,
where it just happens.
There was no fanfare, it just (happened).
We met on Coffee Meets Bagel,
we swiped on each other, then I decided to
text her, then we went out for Mookata
and it just eased into it.
I asked her whether she would want to be my girlfriend.
It's so uncomfortable to say this now and imagine her face.
We met at a restaurant or bar.
I was super flirty.
When I met him, I was like this guy is really cute.
There was one day when we were there,
I broke a glass, I wrote a note to say,
sorry I broke the glass
then I put my Instagram handle.
He replied to my Instagram story of me breaking the glass,
because my friend posted and after that, we started talking.
Wah this is damn gross.
We met in secondary school. I was his senior.
The first time I noticed my ex-boyfriend
was when we were auditioning
for Teachers' Day performance.
We were all in the same room for audition
and I saw him playing the guitar.
I was like wah this guy looks handsome,
play guitar some more, even more cool.
I was interested but at that point of time,
I didn't even know his name.
How did I manage to talk to him?
Oh! He knew that I was a child actress
and he talked to me on Facebook
because we were Facebook friends
and he asked me about it.
I had to leave so I said I cannot talk
because I'm going out, so we exchanged numbers
and carried on from there.
One day he told me that he's sad because he broke up
with this girl and she was someone I really hated.
The thing is right? That girl knows that I like him.
At that point in time, I only told less than 8 people that
I like this guy. I don't know why I went to tell this b****
then she decided to suddenly like him.
She don't even know he exists.
He was her rebound because she broke up with her boyfriend,
and then she went after him. But anyway, he didn't know that
all these things happened so he told me.
When I knew that he was dating her, I was like, what the f***?
So I immediately tell him my feelings, I said, actually I like you.
It's always me, I'm always going after the guys.
Actually, I keep saying ex-boyfriend right? To me, it's ex-boyfriend.
But it was an underground relationship.
So I don't know if you'll count me as his ex-girlfriend.
Why was it underground? I also don't know.
At that point in time, he told me, I will tell you one day.
It's been more than ten years, I still don't know why.
I was dating this girl who was older than me
and I was fresh out of army going to uni.
It was actually a friend's friend.
We met through school, so we were in JC,
and we were in the same CCA together.
I think it was a very gradual process
and I'll admit that she's the one who chased me.
At that time, I think I had a crush on another girl.
This ex sort of made more effort to call me, talk to me,
I think I felt closer and eventually realized that I kind of like her.
Eventually, we got together.
This is a very long and complicated story.
He was my rebound after my ex.
Before that, I broke up with that ex in a very
everything explode kind of way.
I was like, you know what?
If this fellow can be an fboy, I can be an fgirl.
Let's date this fboy-looking fellow,
and then how I know I really fell in love with him.
He's the first guy I actually fell in love with, so it backfired.
We broke up because I said I want to break up
because it hurt my ego that she was working.
I think as a young kid, I was not as secure as I am right now
because I grew up having this mentality that the guy must be the provider.
Every time you go on dates, she would pay.
You know, that fight for the bill.
But I would lose because I really had no money.
I was paying for school so she foot the bill.
It chipped at my ego every other day.
When we broke up, it didn't hurt me as much.
Also because I'm not the dumpy, I'm the dumper.
I guess the inferiority complex that I felt during that time
was way more than the sadness of not having a girlfriend.
There were many reasons, but to summarise, we were very different people.
I don't know how else to say but I was damn tired.
He clearly wanted a relationship but I wasn't very good at it.
I would go out with my friends and he would keep texting me
then I would ask him not to text me because I'm out with my friends
then he would be like what are you doing that
I can't text you while you're with your friends?
Then I would get defensive. I just like, why cannot?
Why can't you leave me alone?
Then become, I never say I can't leave you alone.
It was one and a half years of it and it was damn tiring.
Also, my friends didn't like him.
We were a bit rocky already. I think we were fighting a lot.
There was one day, I was going to my grandma's house
and I felt that something had to be done.
So I texted him, hello? What are you doing? Wanna hang out?
I went to his house and at that point, I was still smoking.
We were smoking. Then I just okay, that was a good last smoke.
Then he huh? What do you mean last smoke?
(Then I'm like) yeah, this is our last smoke.
I didn't know how to approach it because to be honest,
I never had a face-to-face breakup. I'm a coward.
For my previous breakup, I just texted to say
hello this is not gonna work out you know.
After a three years plus relationship, he dumped me over text.
I remember the cheesiest thing in the text was it's not you, it's me.
Basically, he cheated on me.
It wasn't explicitly said, but I'll give you all the details
and then you tell me whether he cheated on me.
A few days after he broke up with me, I remember I received
a message from him that said, oh, I wish we can still stay friends.
When I said, no, I don't want to stay friends,
he blocked me on all his socials.
The best thing is he blocked me on socials, but he didn't block my friends.
So all my friends can see and all of them are very bagua (nosy)
and then they told me what he was doing.
A few days after we broke up, he posted a picture with his new girlfriend
and his new girlfriend was wearing a t-shirt that he bought for me,
but he never got the chance to give me.
I'm not going to say what it is, but it's something that I was obsessed with
during that time. It was very specific, for the design,
number one, I asked for that shirt before and number 2,
unless she's also a fan of that thing, which I highly doubt so.
Then that was it. I remember after the breakup, I was sad for a day or two.
I remember I had a psych test the next day. I revenge study and aced it.
I still remember I got top of the class.
What to do, I only make me better.
How it ended was not the most dramatic as most stories would be.
We were together for almost a year, then we realised that
there were certain incompatibilities between our personalities.
A good example is she was very into fitness.
For me, I'm quite lazy and I just take it very easy,
so whenever I feel like exercising then exercise,
then if I don't feel like it, I don't feel like it,
which eventually formed some cracks within the relationship
and because our emotional needs also were slightly different,
we started to drift apart.
All the things came to a hit before her birthday celebration
I remember this, because I had a day of activities
planned out for her birthday. She was being cold.
So I asked her what's happening and what's going on?
After a long period of back and forth (conversations)
and talking about it, she said that she wants to break up.
That birthday exercise was sort of arranged with
a number of people with some of her friends.
I told her, I would still like you to go for those activities.
If you can find someone to go with, you can let me know.
Then she said no, she's feeling lousy and sad about it.
So I went instead and asked a few of my friends to stand in.
That was a little bit heart wrenching, but I'm thankful that
there were people who came to support me, and there were also
activities to distract you from the immediate lousy feeling.
I only learned this after reflecting a bit.
I think at that time I probably was not as mature as I thought I was.
I was probably not ready to be in a proper relationship back then,
but I stuck around and wanted to be in one because I think
I got familiar and I got very comfortable with the situation.
And with comfort comes a pull back in my effort,
So I'm a little less romantic, I plan a lot less,
I get a bit more slack during dates or hangouts.
I don't even call it dates anymore I think.
She eventually felt like I no longer love her.
She jio (invited) me to a cafe at Ion, on one of the top floors, I forgot which.
We sat down and I had a vibe that it was eerily quiet or serious.
She suddenly just told me like, oh, I think we should break up.
Then I'm like
To make that kind of decision, she would have thought a lot about it.
So I was thinking, no need to fight already, no point fighting.
At that time when it happened, I wasn't really devastated or anything.
It's only after you go home and start to think about it, then you a bit sad.
But then again, logically, I was also like
maybe it's for the better, so it's a bit messed up.
Obviously there are many contributing factors to a breakup.
Objectively, from my point of view,
it was chalked up largely to insecurity and ego issues.
When we first got together,
we were at similar stages in life.
Then I graduated from university,
and then I had a full time job
and he was I would say stagnating.
So I was slowly fine with him not wanting to pursue something further,
in terms of education or career advancement.
I was happily supporting him financially.
Oh my god, my mum see this, she confirm whack me.
I think it was more of a deep-seated awareness on his end,
where he kind of knows that I'm going to continue
growing and evolving as a person,
and maybe that made him insecure.
It spiralled in ways that you cannot avoid in the day to day.
He would get angry if I speak to my male colleagues.
The actual breakup really messed me up.
Literally everything was rosy,
and he was being very affectionate and sweet, as always.
He was like bye. I love you. I miss you
throughout his day, and throughout my day at work.
And then he was like, let's meet up.
It was at the bench downstairs at my house.
He had tears in his eyes and I just knew that it's going to end.
You know, when you anyhow get into a relationship with someone,
then you don't see all the red flags.
We were from different religions. He was a smoker.
But then when we started, like officially dating,
he agreed that he wouldn't smoke anymore.
We had totally different priorities.
So for example, he told me upfront,
my work will always be more important than you.
There was a period that he got very busy.
Then he ghosted me for four days.
Then my friend who works with him was like
hey Jea, I saw this guy smoking at the smoking corner.
What the hell? You no reply me but you got time to smoke?
I was pissed off so I sent him this very long, angry text.
How can you take me for granted?
And I was 100% ready. I was like I'm going to break up with this guy.
And then I sat there for a while then I looked at the message.
Then I was like I really love him. I love him wholeheartedly.
Then he broke up with me instead. [laughs]
I also don't know why we broke up.
Initially, if I don't reply within like 15 minutes or half an hour,
he will keep texting me, asking me am I okay or whatever.
Subsequently is the other way.
I would text him and he won't reply me for like three days.
Then I told him, you know, if you don't like me, just tell me.
Then he said yeah, I don't love, love you anymore.
Don't love means don't love. Don't love, love means what.
Kind of love but not really? I don't know.
And then he told me there's reasons I think,
I don't know what's the reason. Until now, he hasn't told me.
If I have to come to a conclusion, I think I was his rebound.
I hope you're well. That's about it, actually.
I'm glad that we ended things the way we did,
because there was no resentment.
I'm not the type who hopes that my ex will suffer forever more
and feel sorry for what they did,
so I hope that he lives a great, happy life
and find someone he loves,
because I'm very happy with someone I love,
and the fact that I had those experiences with him
taught me how to better appreciate what I have now.
I haven't seen him personally yet, but my friends
saw him at a gym and told me that he lost a lot of weight.
So congrats on losing all that weight bruh.
If you are watching this, call me.
I know you are quite rich right now.
I hope you are doing well,
actually no, I don't hope you're doing well, I don't give a shit.
I hope you don't mind me sharing our story.
I don't know if it's our story or my story.
But anyway, I hope you are doing fine.
If you don't mind to finally let me know
why it was an underground relationship
and why you want to breakup with me, let me know.
Apparently, he watches the TSL videos that I'm in so hey dude.
Hope you're doing well.
Hope your career is doing well.
I hope you're making a lot of money.
No, he likes money. I'm not giving any backhanded compliments.
He just really likes money. But I think he also needs love.
Thank you for watching this video.
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Bye! Bye to our exes.
Hello to the new ones.
Shout out to my ex.
F*** you.