>> Stephen: OF COURSE, THE BIG QUESTION IN THE A.P. INTERVIEW
WAS ABOUT THE PROBABLE MURDER OF SAUDI JOURNALIST JAMAL
KHASHOGGI.
THERE'S MOUNTING EVIDENCE THAT SAUDI ARABIA'S LEADERS ORDERED
THIS KILLING, BUT WHEN HE WAS ASKED IF THE KING WAS IN ANY WAY
INVOLVED, THE PRESIDENT TOLD THE A.P., "IT JUST SOUNDED TO ME
LIKE HE FELT LIKE HE DID NOT DO IT."
( LAUGHTER )
"SIR, HOW DO YOU PLEAD?" "GUILTY, YOUR HONOR, BUT I FEEL
LIKE I'M INNOCENT."
"WELL, THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS.
RELEASE THE PRISONER."
( APPLAUSE )
>> Jon: YOU FEEL THE VIBE OF INNOCENCE.
>> Stephen: TRUMP ADDED, "YOU KNOW, HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH, YOU
KNOW, YOU'RE GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT.
I DON'T LIKE THAT.
WE JUST WENT THROUGH THAT WITH JUSTICE KAVANAUGH."
TO WHICH BRETT KAVANAUGH SAID, "HEY, MAYBE LEAVE MY NAME OUT OF
THIS ONE.
DISMEMBERING A JOURNALIST IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE CRIMES I
HAVE NOT BEEN ACCUSED OF.
I THINK.
I WAS PRETTY DRUNK, SO YOU NEVER KNOW."
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )
BUT IT DOES EXPLAIN THE CROWN PRINCE'S CALENDAR ENTRY FOR THAT
DAY: "LIFTING WEIGHTS WITH P.J.
AND SQUI."
( LAUGHTER )
THOSE GUYS GET AROUND A LOT!
AND MAKE NO MISTAKE, FOLKS, THE GUY AT THE CENTER OF ALL THIS IS
SAUDI ARABIA'S CROWN PRINCE AND GUY WATCHING JARED KUSHNER DANCE
FOR HIS AMUSEMENT, MOHAMMED BIN SALMAN, WHO'S ALSO KNOWN AS
M.B.S.
THAT'S RIGHT, HE HAS REACHED "THREE LETTER WORLD LEADER"
STATUS, RIGHT UP WITH F.D.R., J.F.K., AND K.F.C.
( LAUGHTER )
ANYWHERE!
M.B.S. HAS A LONG HISTORY OF BAD BEHAVIOR.
RIGHT AFTER HE TOOK POWER, DOZENS OF PRINCES WERE LOCKED UP
FOR ABOUT THREE MONTHS IN THE RITZ-CARLTON HOTEL IN RIYADH,
AND AT LEAST 17 DETAINEES WERE HOSPITALIZED FOR PHYSICAL ABUSE,
AND ONE LATER DIED IN CUSTODY.
WOW, THAT IS REALLY GOING TO HURT THE RITZ-CARLTON ON
TripAdvisor.
( LAUGHTER )
SO MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THE CROWN PRINCE WAS INVOLVED IN THE
KILLING, THAT WASHINGTON INSIDERS GRIMLY JOKE THAT M.B.S.
STANDS FOR MR. BONE SAW.
BUT DESPITE THE MOUNTING EVIDENCE, CONSIDERING AUDIO OF
THE MURDER, TRUMP CONTINUES TO BACK HIS THE SAUDIS.
TODAY, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, HE WAS ASKED, SINCE KHASHOGGI WAS A
LEGAL RESIDENT OF VIRGINIA, WHY HE DIDN'T ORDER THE F.B.I. TO
INVESTIGATE.
>> WELL, HE WASN'T A CITIZEN OF THIS COUNTRY FOR ONE THING.
AND WE'RE GOING TO DETERMINE THAT-- AND YOU DON'T KNOW
WHETHER OR NOT WE HAVE, DO YOU?
>> WELL, I-- >> NO, BUT DO YOU KNOW WHETHER
OR NOT WE'VE SENT IN THE F.B.I.?
>> HAVE YOU SENT THE F.B.I.?
>> I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU.
>> WHY DON'T YOU TELL US?
>> WHY WOULD I TELL YOU?
>> Stephen: "YEAH, WHY WOULD I TELL YOU?
I MEAN, THE MEDIA IS THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE.
NOT LIKE MY DEAR FRIEND, MR. BONE SAW."
OF COURSE, THE WORLD LOOKS TO AMERICA FOR MORAL AUTHORITY, BUT
TRUMP SAYS THERE'S SOMETHING JUST AS IMPORTANT.
>> IF YOU LOOK AT SAUDI ARABIA, THEY'RE AN ALLY, AND THEY ARE A
TREMENDOUS PURCHASER OF NOT ONLY MILITARY EQUIPMENT BUT OTHER
THINGS.
WHEN I WENT THERE, THEY COMMITTED TO PURCHASE $450
BILLION WORTH OF THINGS.
>> Stephen: YES, YEAH, VERY IMPORTANT, VERY IMPORTANT.
I BELIEVE THE SAUDIS' SHOPPING LIST FROM THAT TRIP WENT:
MILITARY, THINGS, DONALD TRUMP.