Everything I said today, you have to take it.
You have to take it, you have to absorb it,
and you have to use it.
But keep it in your thoughts, in your movement.
And don't outwardly do these things.
But inwardly use these things. (audience laughing)
Is that correct, that sound right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Don't outwardly... Right.
(audience laughs)
Don't do the things that you said to do.
Don't do that shit, don't do that shit.
Oh, oh, I get it.
It's the essence of it that you wanna use.
But I do want you do this.
I do want you to go home.
When you go home, Mm hm.
I do want you to open the back of your toilet.
(audience laughing) (Conan laughing)
And look into that tank.
And just look into that motherfucker for a little while.
Okay. (audience laughing)
And the water's gonna be moving a little bit.
Then you gonna see yourself. (audience laughing)
You gonna see your reflection in that fucking water.
Such a stream of bullshit.
(audience laughing) (Conan laughing)
And you'll see, you gonna see the water that's moving.
And you'll see your...
So I'm gonna see my reflection in the toilet tank.
Fuck, yeah, you will. Yeah, of course.
You see your reflection in that water.
It's like all those movies where you see someone.
Like they'll be at a lake.
And they'll just be looking in the water
and then just touch the water.
And the water just bead a little bit.
Yeah. It's very tranquil.
Yeah.
But you look into that motherfucker.
Or better yet, this an even better idea.
You take a shit backwards.
(audience laughing) Oh, for God's sake.
And you're on the toilet seat like this backwards,
looking into the back of that tank.
(audience laughing) (laughs) My God!
(Conan laughing) I'm sorry, no, I've let you...
And then when you feel like you have released
all your troubles, flush that bitch.
(throat noise)
That's the, that's the craziest form
of therapy I've ever heard of in my life.
(laughs) Oh my... (audience laughing)
And now you can decide if your glass
or your toilet bowl is half empty
(audience laughing) or half full.
Okay, you...
(laughs) It's going to start to build water back up again
and you watch that water come up.
Okay.
You see? Yeah.
(whispers) It's going to come up.
Yeah, have you tried this? Have you tried (all laugh)
going to the bathroom in this manner
where you're turned around, sort of...
Everything I tell you, I fucking tried.
You hear me? (Co-hosts laugh)
Yeah. (audience laughter)
(JB laughs) (JB sucks teeth)
You've cowgirled a toilet.
Is that what you're saying? I wouldn't put you,
I wouldn't put you in danger like that.
(audience laughing)
You, hey, you have to (sighs)
look, when you sitting on, (audience laughs)
when you reverse cowboy that mother fucking toilet seat
and you look into that bowl, you are, look
you are emptying all the issues you have into that toilet.
(audience laughs) But at the same time
you are watching this water flush that fucking,
just flushing away.
See, this keeps you from looking at your own shit
to make sure it went down. (audience laughs)
You hit that, bat, you just watch that clean water go out.
Oh, that's you cleansing yourself.
That's you cleansing yourself.
When you see that water go down into that little hole,
that little stopper comes up. (mouth noises)
That little pulley, (tongue click)
little chain (mouth click)
little floaty all that shit. (audience laughs)
How much time have you spent looking into a toilet
(audience laughing) in your life, JB?
How much time have you spent?
You know, you know a lot, you really...
(laughing) Look Man, here,
(audience laughing) here's another thing.
Oh, there's another thing. (Matt laughs)
I'm not just trying to help you.
Uh huh.
Right? There's people out there who need this shit too.
No one needs to hear any of this.
(audience laughs) (Sona laughs)
There's nobody that's being helped
especially by this last one.
(audience laughing) (Co-hosts laughing)
There's nobody, (audience laughs)
nobody who's gonna be helped
by this reverse toilet (laughs) concept.
It's really, I'm just, look, It's just, I've given you
I have given you leeway on every idea.
(audience laughs)
I think you've actually hit some good areas.
I think this last one, no, I'm gonna put my
I'm putting my foot down (audience laughing)
(Co-hosts laughing) on this last idea.
I think with your reverse toilet tank,
(JB sighs) you've lost me.
You've completely lost me.
I'm telling you it works.
You have to, (Matt laughs)
(sighs) see you're thinking too much about the toilet.
The traditional... (all laughing)
It's a major player.
No you're thinking too much about the traditional...
JB it's a major player...
You're thinking about the traditional use
of a toilet.
That is not a toilet no more, that is a body of water.
(laughing) It better be.
(audience laughs) It's a body.
It's two bodies of water.
(Conan laughing) It better be...
One is taking the...
...a fucking toilet (audience laughing)
Or we have a major problem.
There's two bodies of water here.
(all laughing)
One Is eliminating all your waste
and all the bullshit you've been through your whole life.
And one is going out there to make it happen.
But it's also refilling with,
Uh huh. New energy.
Uh huh. New life.
Uh huh. New thoughts.
Uh huh. New people in your life.
When that water comes back in
that's new energy coming in your life.
(laughs) Okay, okay. (audience laughs)
Metaphorically speaking.
Yes, yes, oh yes.
Don't do any of this stuff, right?
Yeah.
No don't, no, no...
Or did you want people to do this last one?
I told you earlier, you think about this.
You don't physically do it. Good.
You got to be there.
Your soul gotta be there though.
Yeah.
Your soul gotta be sitting on that toilet.
Okay. And you gotta see it.
Oh, well, okay.
You gotta see yourself sitting there,
when you sitting still.
If you're sitting down right now,
you're sitting down in a sitting down position.
Yeah.
You could easily do this right here.
Yeah, okay, well, no, I'm not gonna do that.
(audience laughs)
And your mind will be Yeah.
on that toilet backwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah okay, okay.
I'm just trying to help.
(Conan laughs hysterically)
(audience laughing) (Co-hosts laughing)
I'm just trying to help you man.