Another thing I love
about the book is the importance of lists.
The list you made for yourself
about who you were looking for in life
and how you carried it with you.
The idea, as a woman, I married in my late 30s,
and as a woman,
I loved reading the chapter about when you know you know,
because it talked about your process
of stopping looking for someone.
You stopped dating, you stopped looking,
and you focused on yourself.
I just loved that.
I thought it was such great advice.
But can you tell everybody,
just give them whatever you wanna sprinkle in,
the nuggets from the list that you made
through how Nick met your mom for the first time,
which was terrible of you, you didn't warn--
(Priyanka laughs)
Very, very bad, bad girl, bad girl.
She never forgave me for that, it was so funny
Well it was an odd way to meet a young man
that you like a lot.
So how did your mom and Nick,
like everybody gets so nervous when a guy they like
is gonna meet the parents.
Go ahead and tell that tale.
It was really funny.
This was before the first time.
The first time I met Nick was at a Vanity Fair after party,
but we were both going to the Met Gala together.
And, you know, we were both in New York,
and this is three years before,
two years before we started dating.
So, you know, we were like, all right we should meet,
then just, I didn't know, was it a date, was it not?
We just went out for dinner.
And because I was late, I was working, and I was late,
I, you know, where we were shut down,
it was the Carlisle Hotel and it shut down,
and we were still having a conversation.
So I was like, you know, "Why don't we go to my place?"
And Nick wanted to have a cigar.
And I was like, I have a balcony and it'd be great.
I forgot my mom was with me at that point.
And I forgot to tell my mom.
I told Nick, I was like, "My mom's at home,
"I hope that's all right."
And he was like, "Yeah, that's great."
But I didn't tell my mother.
And we arrive at home, (Rachael laughs)
and I open the door, and she thinks
that it's, you know, me coming back home,
and she's laying down on the couch, you know,
her legs up in her night gown watching SVU,
(Rachael laughs)
which is our favorite show.
And I walk in with this dude,
and my mom was mortified. (laughs)
She's in-- At the right side.
Okay first of all, me and your mom, we could roll,
because I am always watching Law & Order in my pajamas.
Not a nightgown, I'm a PJ girl, I got pants on.
But that is so funny.
But they have both forgiven you since, yes?
Yes, very much so.
My mother would have never spoken to me again.
That's for sure, she let the pop off close to me.
Well I didn't know it was supposed to be that.
I didn't know Nick Was gonna be that guy.
I didn't know that at that, that was the first time ever.
Tell everybody about the list,
about the, just the idea that had,
that you literally made a list?
Well, I'd just come out of, you know,
my last relationship and I was just,
I kept making the same mistake again, in my relationships.
I'd prioritize the other person, or I would,
I just, it always ended up being toxic.
And I was like, I really thought that I needed to spend time
to think about why did my relationships become like that?
So on the advice of my best friend and her husband actually,
he told me, "Write down five non-negotiable things."
So I wrote down the five things that I was like,
"All right, this is non-negotiable for me."
And I swear to God, as soon as I sort of gave that up
and I took a dating hiatus, and I spent time on myself,
and I started like just embracing life again,
Nick came into my life, and sort of,
the longest relationship you'll ever have
with anyone is yourself.
DVF said that to me, and that really like,
I was like, "That's so true."
And our first one.
And there are great quotes throughout the book
that you said you chose because of the content
of the chapter, but I love what a thoughtful writer
that you are, and how you connect with people
on a really, really human level.
It's a very honest book.
I liked it very much, I really did.
Woo, phew. Real page turner.
I honestly, I couldn't put it down once I started it.
I'm like, wow.
And I love that there's the accident of fate,
which if if you believe in that pattern of life,
is not accidental at all. Not at all.
And beauty and that rhythm that goes through the book
is so delightful, because I too adhere to that
and believe in that. (bells chime)
(bells chime)