All right, so today I'm going to tell you about what the real purpose of the first few
times you contact your ex truly is.
Okay.
Because, you know, I've been helping people with the breakups in relationships for a long
time and I, I've, I've seen a lot of people in their first contacts to get back together
with their ex and oftentimes it is about, you know, some kind of really deep thing about
the relationship, how they're, sorry about something happening, how much they love their
exes, all, all this kinds of stuff like that.
And I want to get straight off the bat that, that is too much, too soon.
Okay.
Too much too soon.
In a previous video I talked about the wall of reactance and that is absolutely something
that you are going to have to deal with.
So understand the first few contacts you have with your ex.
The point is not to talk about the breakup, the relationship, how much you love them,
how much you miss them, how much you want to make things up to them, how great the two
of you are together or anything like that.
Okay.
The first few contacts you have with your ex are simply to have a positive human to
human interaction and human to human exchange.
Kind of like when you're out on a first date.
Okay.
You know the point of that is not to prove that you're the best guy in the world of the
two of you should get married or anything like that.
The point is just, Hey, can we have fun together?
Hey, can we go out for coffee and have a good time?
Hey, can we go to the park and have a good time?
Hey, can you do whatever the date is and have a great time right here in the present moment.
You know, it's not about proving that you're the best guy ever.
It's not about proving that you're better than all the losers that they dated before.
It's not about any of that.
It's just can we have fun right now and that is exactly what the purpose of the first few
contact with your ex is because again, like I mentioned in the previous period, they're
going to be very suspicious, very suspect about why you're contacting them and if you
know they probably don't want to talk about the break of the relationship or anything
like that.
They don't want to talk about that right now.
That just not at an emotional place where they're ready to discuss that and I'm the
for the purpose of the first couple of contacts on your part is not to bring that stuff up.
You can absolutely talk about that at a later point and you absolutely should talk about
that at a later point if you considering getting back together, but the first few interactions
you have, you just want to have a good time.
You just want to show them that you're a fun person, that they can be around.
They don't have to be afraid of.
They don't have to be suspect around you.
They don't have to have the walls up around you or anything like that.
And if you can do that, then they'll start to open up a little bit more and when they
start to open up a little bit more than you can have a little bit more leeway and then
open up a little bit more and you can even more leeway.
And then before you know it, there'll be completely open and willing to discuss anything that
you want, including the breakup, their relationship and all that stuff.
But first you have to have a solid foundation of being able to have a good human to human
interaction with them.
And that's one of the main reasons why we teach the advanced skills that we talk about.
It's so that you can have these deep interpersonal connections.
Where your ex is like, yeah, this person really gets me.
This person is somebody that I remember falling in love with in the first place.
This isn't just some sort of like, you know, crazed person ready to talk about the breakup
and a relationship and trying to force me to get back together and prove themselves
to me.
You know, this is a person I can actually have a human connection with.
And that's really kind of at the core of what we're teaching and it's really what the first
few contacts are.
Definitely.
You're definitely gonna want to show them in the first few contacts.
Again, I promise you, you can talk about all that deeper stuff later and you should talk
about that later.
But the first couple of contacts, just keep it at a nice interpersonal level where the
two of you can have a good time interacting with each other.
Okay?
Don't it down with all that deep heavy stuff.
I promise you you'll do so much better in the long run if you do that.
And if you'd like to learn more about how we can help you get back together with your
ex and save your relationship head on over to relationshipinnergame.com and sign up for
our newsletter there so we can start sending you helpful tips and information today so
you can get back together with the person.
Thank you.