“What about that one?
A bunny, maybe?”
I followed Violet’s gaze to the misshapen cloud above us.
I had to admit, as silly as it felt for our age, cloud gazing in the unkempt field behind
our highschool on recess had to be the best part of my day.
“Hmm.”
I squinted my eyes towards it and rubbed my chin to relay that I was taking the proposition
incredibly seriously.
“Well, Violet, after my assessment of the cloud, the exact circumference of its frame,
the rounding off of what I suppose we could call a tail…
I’ve determined that it is in fact a bunny.”
She played along with the act, as she always did, and let out a sigh of relief.
“Just as I suspected.
Thank you for your time and expertise, Doc.
We’ll be taking this one to the lab.”
I smirked.
Violet had been my best friend since before I could even put a firm definition behind
what “friendship” truly was.
Over the years she’d taught it to me through a series of ups and downs- the downs always
springing back up with her.
We spent our last few minutes of teenage freedom debating the shape of what I’d like to call
a toad before being summoned back to the cold atmosphere I loathed and Violet loved.
Attending public school was a treat for Violet.
I’d never seen anyone react to cruel cliques or uppity behavior the way that she did.
I’d never met anyone who could go on and on about the true wonders of Trig until you
had to eventually put a stop to it, reminding her that Trigonometry was not supposed to
be “fun.”
“It’s fun to me.” she’d reply, just a bit offended by the notion that she wasn’t
a normal child.
And truthfully, she wasn’t.
I remember how scared she had made me in middle school when only a few years into our budding
friendship she started speaking to me as if there was always someone else around, or talking
into thin air, or pointing and prompting me to “look” into complete nothingness.
Only a short while after this behavior started and teachers began to express concern for
her mental health, her parents pulled her out of public school and began homeschooling
her.
It wasn’t that they were concerned for their daughter- it was that she was tarnishing their
name with her oddities.
She had what I could only describe as a mental break shortly after that.
Her parents didn’t believe in therapy or psychiatric help or mental illness and instead
forced her into isolation.
Even then she’d make it a point to sneak out every night- 7 pm sharp to meet me in
her backyard.
I knew it affected her poor 14 year old mind in the worst way, and it affected me too.
I was too young to understand what was happening to her.
Too young to help.
Thankfully, in the beginning of our Sophomore year, Violet’s troubles seemed to subside.
After a lot of convincing her parents agreed to allow her back into public school- under
strict and careful surveillance of course.
She loved and appreciated the time away from her home and I loved and appreciated to see
her happy.
So I suppose I could let her enjoy trigonometry.
Her enthusiasm showed in her grades and her parents couldn’t argue with that.
She’d reached the top of our class by the end of 10th grade and was on her way to becoming
valedictorian.
All with little to no symptoms of what once was plaguing her mind.
I couldn’t have been more proud of her.
But that day, as we walked back into her sanctuary, she froze in her tracks.
I’ll never forget the look of terror on her face as she grabbed the sleeve of my shirt,
mouth agape, and pointed forward into the crowded hallway at absolutely nothing.
“Vi?”
I asked.
Nothing.
“Violet.”
I shook her shoulder a bit in an attempt to snap her out of whatever trance she was divulged
in, but the touch only agitated her.
She jerked away from me, quickly, and the look of terror shifted to the direction of
me.
After a few moments she lifted a hand to her cheek, closed her mouth, and then gasped for
air.
“Violet?”
There was no response from her as she scrambled away from me.
I didn’t see her anywhere for the rest of the day.
It worried me.
A lot.
The next day Violet returned, but I could tell that something was bothering her.
I tried pressing her to talk to me but it was to no avail.
She was almost unresponsive, like she was only existing to daydream and refused to be
disturbed by reality.
I chose to allow her that and dropped the issue, but when she was nowhere to be found
once recess rolled around I began to panic.
I was already an anxious person by nature and I cared about Violet.
It was unlike her to not make her presence known everywhere she went and I couldn’t
help but compare the episode she’d had the day before to her past issues.
I was worried that if someone noticed her off putting behavior, they might notify her
parents.
I searched everywhere for her until I came to the edge of the land that was owned by
our school, indicated by a chain link fence that separated our world from the woods beyond
it.
That’s when I saw her, or what I could distinguish as her, through the brush of it.
Her long black hair flowed beyond her shoulders and into the trees as she stood completely
still; her back towards me and her body facing further into the depths of the forbidden area.
After a quick glance around to assure that no teacher or rat was sizing me up I hopped
the fence and sprinted in her direction.
“Violet?
Violet!”
I cried to her.
She stayed still all the while until I caught up to her.
“Vi.
You can’t be out here.
Are you nuts?”
Silence.
I placed myself in front of her, looking her dead in the eyes and realized she had the
exact same expression plastered across her face as the first incident.
Terror.
“Okay, Violet, please.
We have to get back.
No one can catch us out here, okay?
We could get in big trouble for-”
Quickly, and without warning she lifted a finger to my lips.
“Quiet.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the hissing, unrecognizable voice leaving my lifelong friend’s
mouth.
“Violet, please, we have to-”
“I said keep your fucking mouth shut.”
I couldn’t believe it.
Her voice was frantic and her speech was slurred but more notably, Violet had never spoken
to anyone- much less me- like that in her entire life.
She removed her index finger from against my lips and pointed forward, deeper into the
forest, and cocked her head sideways before rotating it back to stare up at the sky.
Before I had any time to register what was happening she let out the most heart-wrenching,
soul-piercing scream I’d ever heard from another human being.
If it weren’t for the fact that I was right beside her I’d have thought she was being
tortured, ripped to shreds, left for dead in a murderous rampage.
But here she stood, screaming without pause for breath, proof that she was still here.
It didn’t take long before an aid found us and rushed Violet inside.
Again, she didn’t return.
The third day was difficult.
The normally well put-together and carefully orchestrated Violet I knew so well was replaced
with a disheveled, frantic girl who’s eyes darted to any and every sound in the busy
hallways of the place she used to love.
I was shocked that her parents had even let her leave the house that day but something
told me that she was narrowly avoiding their watch.
Trying to speak to her was useless.
She wasn’t silent as she’d been the day before, but she refused to speak unless spoken
to and when she did speak her sentences were replaced by a loose jumble of strewn together
words and phrases- almost as if she was on complete autopilot and sharing a real thought
would steal too much energy from her already exhausted state.
By recess I was begging her just to let me help in any way I could.
The offer seemed to strike a match within her as she slowly turned her head in my direction-
the first time she’d looked at me all day.
“Anything?”
I nodded without hesitation.
I was thinking help in terms of catching her up with missed schoolwork, concocking a scheme
to get around her parents, or simply keeping a watchful eye over her while she struggled
with something difficult.
Violet didn’t see it that way.
Come recess she was dragging me by my arm, nearly crushing my wrist towards the forest.
“Violet, come on.
Let’s not go back there, alright?
You remember what happened yesterday, we can’t-”
“Anything.”
she mumbled under her breath as we kept trudging along.
She made no effort to dodge anyone’s gaze as we marched along as if we were on an important
mission that not even god could stop us from completing.
I hopped the fence before her as she stared daggers into my back.
It was as if I were her only enemy in this world and I would immediately go back on my
word and betray her in whatever problems she was facing alone.
I wanted to remind her that I loved her but I knew that it wouldn’t matter to her in
this state.
She pulled me through the woods, twigs smacking her in the legs and side all the way, until
we got there.
The exact same spot she’d been standing in yesterday.
I wanted to protest, and almost couldn’t help myself, but remembered that she didn’t
care at all to hear it.
She seemed adamant about her plan and I desperately wanted to help her.
I would have done anything.
Slowly, she lifted her finger to point into the forest- a motion I was all too used to
at this point- and quickly whipped her head around in my direction.
“Today you look.”
“Today I-” that’s when I realized.
In all the commotion of the scene she had caused yesterday, I was too distracted to
even attempt to see what she was seeing.
I hadn’t even bothered; I’d written her off as mental.
Today I would look.
Again she cocked her head sideways and rolled it back.
As she stared into the sun I made a promise with myself and with her to keep my gaze forward,
no matter what.
She let it in a deep breath and again, she shrieked.
At first I thought there was nothing.
I squinted and strained my eyes until I gave myself a headache, but then I saw.
A tall, dark, figure formed among the trees.
The thing had to have been standing over 20 feet tall.
It towered over everything- the trees, the schoolyard, the forest, us.
I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t seen it until now; that Violet was the only one
who’d noticed it up until she shared it with me.
For a brief moment, I saw what was following my friend- what was standing there pointing
back at her.
For a brief moment I understood her before she was once again yanked back to reality
by a concerned and frustrated teacher.
We exchanged one final look before she was hauled away, a mutual understanding between
the two of us that this time she would not be coming back.
I rushed to her house after school and was met with something vacant, dark, and unwelcoming.
It was obvious that the home was unoccupied and I feared for the worst.
Weeks passed.
I stopped at her house daily, but nobody was ever home.
The house sat empty and I kicked myself constantly for not doing more to help her.
When it became evident that the family had up and left, I removed every note I’d left
her from what was once their mailbox and shoved them all into my schoolbag.
She left without any notice and I’ve not seen or heard from her since.
Violet, if you’re out there: I saw it.
You’re not crazy.
You never were.