welcome back to deadline day 2017 I've
got a text Jim it is official I'm
leaving you for Richard keys take care
your ex-wife Sue haha she does this
every year
it's just banter I'm hearing that we
have breaking news from Arsenal let's
head over there now
sorry Jim there seems to have been some
confusion no breaking news here just a
lot of fans breaking down in tears
well done Arsenal fans not a single
purple dildo in sight unlike it Chelsea
well you can see lights of blue plastic
dicks outside the ground at every home
game haha just kidding Chelsea fans
please do not abuse me on social media
Riley's head to Tottenham what deals are
they pushing through in the last minutes
of the window haha
now as you mean normai besmear harry
redknapp is back in football and i
caught him on the line now Harry are you
going to be doing any wheeling and
dealing for Birmingham in the next few
minutes
facebait you could go where were you
winner a cookie job and to go manage
Jordan well unfortunately we seem to
have some technical issues with Harry's
light there and my producer tells me
it's time to go to the reporter who
touched the sky pod whose name I cannot
pronounce what have you got for us
meat Oh let me read German I am on
strike since it became clear that you
have no idea who I am
and feel to respect any that reads any
of my talents I have decided not to
bother back to you you Tangletown tosser
more top-class sponsor aimed at me yep
deadline day is all about the laws here
in the studio Brian what bonds have you
got for me Angela but the total check
out and that will tell us how much money
has been spent and total in this window
so far and about the earth absolutely
ridiculous but for you job Brian
you probably should not have read the
oats I apologize for the technical error
appears we have been hacked in the
evening nort sagged in the morning my
guess we have been hacked by peers [ __ ]
or maybe it was he lured Russian hacker
after my earlier joke about Chelsea
right let's head over to the Hawthorns
where unlike most home games there may
be something interesting to report
Johnny Evans is going nowhere firstly
because he's captain of this club second
because I've uncuffed him to a radiator
in my office and forgotten where I put
the key front one captive footballer to
another now as we cross over to Heathrow
Airport where Alexis Sanchez has been
seen boarding a flight where is he
heading to Alexis why you on this fly
are you moving to a massive European
club no another die I have decided to
retire from football and become an
heiress you and as I know that working
in the service industry will be far more
enjoyable than playing for as an ally
well it shouldn't Tony Bentley's chewed
my face my face she hit me in the face
with the cash don't painful
and this is the former captain speaking
he'll be arriving at appeal in 35
minutes
wait a minute isn't that near Manchester
double boom what in climax richard is
hanging at the back of me right now is
what my wife has just text me and the
window has slammed shut and so it seems
as the final chapter of my marriage to
serve but I will still communicate this
devastating news and annoyingly all the
red jersey astok and positive batter
goodnight in case you missed them there
are two more four four twos transfer
deadline day videos one is on the
software AM channel and one is on the
official Bundesliga channel check them
out below I'm off for a break Tara