Hello, my name is SNES Man. To celebrate this cheery, heartwarming holiday, I thought I'd
review a game about horrifying subterranean aliens that want to rip you to shreds. You
guessed it. It's Super Metroid. Let's get down to gaming.
Here is our honestly creepy title screen. Let's check out the story. "The last Metroid
is in captivity. The Galaxy is at peace." Okay, so the voice synthesis sounds weird
nowadays but it was probably the coolest thing ever in 1994 when it came out. I just wouldn't
know. I was in diapers at the time. Anyway, in a foreboding intro cut scene, the famous
bounty hunter, Samus Aran, gets a distress signal from a laboratory where the last living
Metroid is in captivity. So, she rushes off to save the day and we have our first level.
When you're in the laboratory, a wannabe pterodactyl named Ridley suddenly appears out of the darkness
and steals the Metroid that you were trying to get. Then, it hides in Planet Zebes and
tt's up to you to retrieve the creepy little alien baby. And that's our story.
The game tosses you into a creepy alien planet and it doesn't hold your hand. Like the old
days of Zelda, Super Metroid puts you in a threatening world and there's no linear path.
You have to find your own way around. In fact, the game's central theme is exploration. Sure,
you get to bust a cap once and awhile, shooting gross alien monsters, but the game isn't really
about action. It's about navigating through a world where everyone and every thing is
out to get you . . . what a cheery game to play in the Holiday season. Ho ho ho.
Super Metroid has a huge game world. I can't begin to describe how many layers and areas
there are to explore. It's beyond description. You have the eerie, blue jungle of Brinstar,
the fiery depths of Norfair, and the water logged cavern of Maridia. The music changes
and perfectly suits the mood even though there aren't very many famous melodies. It's not
like Zelda where you'll be humming the tune for days and days but the songs still have
a great atmosphere in them.
The creatures in the game are really weird -- they're all nasty looking aliens. Some
of them are kind of dull and bland like these little these spiky bugs or bat creatures.
Some of them are really cool, though, like these flying plant monsters with hooks for
hands and the space pirates -- although they do kind of move around like creepy stalkers.
They remind of those Putties from Power Rangers. Both give me nightmares . . . What can I say?
Video game creatures are scary.
So, how does Samus kill all these terrifying enemies? With her arm cannon! No duh. The
controls are really tight and responsive. You can dash, jump, and shoot in all directions
with relative ease. What's weird, though, is that Samus isn't the swiftest of game heroes.
Sure, she can run fast (really freaking fast when she has speed boots) but her aerial movement
is slow, kind of like Neil Armstrong jumping on the moon but not half as exaggerated. This
isn't really a flaw in the game, just a stylistic choice. Now, I personally prefer games like
Mega Man X where you can leap around really fast and dodge attacks but Super Metroid is
good in a different way. This game's not really about fast action; it's just exploration.
So her high, slow jump is better suited for this kind of adventure.
Samus is a pretty powerful character. She has all kinds of classic upgrades that can
stand up to Link in quality. There's the charge beam, the wave beam, a grappling beam that
lets you climb to new areas, the famous morph ball for small places, and my favorite item,
the ice beam. It lets you turn your enemies into alien-sicles. For once, you get to freeze
things instead of being frozen! There're so many games that make you get frozen so this
is a great time to have revenge. Super Metroid has all kinds of hidden items like missile
and weapon upgrades. It's not mandatory to find them but for hardcore Metroid fans, that's
the real goal of the game. It's kind of like an RPG: you get stronger as you go.
Man, Samus is pretty awesome. Unlike most female characters in video games, she actually
does things instead of sitting around waiting to be rescued. And, since we can't see her
face, she just seems solemn and mysterious. And you know what? She inspired me to make
a bit stylistic change in the SNES Man show. From now on, I will wear a helmet so that
you can't see my hideous face and I'll seem mysterious. See? I look so mysterious already!
This is awesome. This is the second or third best idea I've ever had!
Okay, well, back to the commentary. Let me just fiddle with my mask for a second. Okay.
Super Metroid has really impressive graphics. Unlike most 16 bit era games with their bright
colors, Super Metroid is dark, subdued and ominous. It just has a haunting feeling and
there are some scary moments like when Crocomire's skeleton jumps out of the lava after you thought
you killed it. All the bosses are made of big and impressive sprites. My favorite is
Kraid who looks like a crocodile who ate too many Twinkies and glued spikes to his stomach.
Another cool boss is the previously mentioned Crocomire, a grody red lizard that falls in
the lava. Ridley the flying monster also returns in a ridiculously hard fight. I couldn't even
work out a strategy for this part but I won eventually with luck. The final boss, Mother
Brain, is pretty horrifying the whole battle with her is a great finale.
It's a huge game in scale -- oh yeah, you guys can't see my facial expressions. Screw
this. Back to my gross old face. It's a huge game in scale with a million rooms to discover
and countless upgrades to find.. Luckily, there's a well implemented save feature so
you can pick up your adventure right where you left off. Now, I'm not an expert at exploration
games but even I can tell that this is a classic. This is possibly the best game in the whole
Metroid series.
Things to Make it Better
-More interesting enemies. Some of the monsters are boring like those little spiky bugs that
are so common. -Make the Ridley fight easier. It's hard to
work out a battle pattern against him especially if you don't have a lot of weapon upgrades.
-And finally, less confusing paths. Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the maze of the underworld.
Well, that's pretty much all that I can find wrong with Super Metroid. It's a great game
and, while I wouldn't call it perfect, it is a real classic that everyone should play.
Super Metroid scores a 9 out of 10. Now, if you're a hardcore Metroid fan, you can disregard
my complaints and give it a 10.
So, that's Super Metroid, a really great game. But, since it's the Holidays, I won't end
right here and make this a crappy review. I'm going to have have a glorious song from
Super Metroid that'll just make your holiday season warm and fuzzy. Here it is.