Hey, my name is Dan and I have been coaching ENFPs, INFPs
and other NF types for close to a decade now. And that is a rooster and he's not going to shut up. So he's going to be
joining us in the video.
In the video where I want to share with you a piece of advice
if you are a younger ENFP or INFP. And by that I mean in your
20s or late teens, maybe in your 30s or 40s, if you're not doing
this yet, because it is absolutely essential. When I was
younger, I worked as a mortgage broker for my first job out of
school. Long story behind why I did it never wanted to work in
finance, didn't study finance or anything like that, but ended up
there. And there were a lot of things with the job I liked. I
like meeting the clients. I like the learning and development,
the people I worked with, there were lots of things I didn't
like, like the paperwork, and the paperwork, and the
paperwork, and also cold calling people and having difficult
conversations when you made a mistake with their mortgage, I
really hated those things. And that could have been okay,
actually, I could have been a million dollar mortgage broker.
If I had been really honest with my boss and said, Hey, I'm
really good at these other things. But I never kind of do
the paperwork. And I've been putting off calling this client
for two weeks. And now they're really mad. Sorry.
I hadn't had that conversation. My boss, who was a very
moderately, at least smart guy would have said, Hey, you are
actually really good with these and you're terrible with this,
why don't I get someone else to help you with this, you give
them 10% of the money from the mortgage, and you go do what you
do best. And I bet that would have went really well. Now that
would have sucked for the world at large. Because instead of
making this video right now, I might be doing mortgage
paperwork somewhere. And that's not good for anybody. But
nonetheless, it probably would have worked out better. But I
didn't. What I did is I hid the truth I hid what I
procrastinated, I hid what I was capable of I over promised and
under delivered and cause all kinds of chaos for those around
me. And that is the absolute last thing I intended. And the
absolute last thing that I wanted to do, and yet that is
exactly what I did, by really not wanting to disappoint people
by not wanting to let them down. I let them down more than I ever
could have by telling the truth. I completely dropped the ball so
many times and ruined relationships that had become
great friendships. The reason I like the job, my relationship
with my boss ruined it by trying to be a people pleaser. And not
being honest about what I could do. Those days, I was staying at
home procrastinating picking up the phone call, like having one
awkward five minute phone call waste the whole day on that.
Those days could have been spent doing a million other things had
I just been honest about who I was, and what I was capable of
and what I wasn't capable of. And so if you are a younger INFP
or ENFP, this is my advice to you start being honest about who
you are as soon as possible. One of my goals with this channel is
to empower you to do that to let you know that you are awesome.
And there is so much you can do. And the first step of that is
learning about who you are and being honest about it and owning
it. And the thing is when you do that, you allow the people
around you to work with who you really are. If you mislead
people around you, even if it's not intentional, even if you
have you know, this curse that we have is we like to please
people, and we're optimists. And that's a bad combination.
Because that means if there's something someone asked you to
do. And nine other times someone asked you to do it, you didn't
do it, or you absolutely hated it and put it off for weeks and
then did it late. You're like, well, I don't want to let them
down and maybe this time will be different like 10 out of 10 is
impossible, right? This time will be different. And of course
what do we know happens right best case you get it done after
a ton of agony. Worst case you don't and you end up
disappointing, someone whose opinion about you you do care
about right. So what I implore you to do is start being honest
say hey, you know what, I actually can't get this done for
you. Or hey, I'm really bad at that when you might having
someone else do that. But instead maybe I could help out
on this or that. If you start being honest, you actually do a
greater service to everyone around you. I am now the boss on
the team. I have a team of people working for me and I've
seen the other side and number one I realized that young Dan
was a pain in the ass for my boss. I actually almost feel bad
for him...I don't, but I almost do. And I look back and think it must have
been so frustrating.
For him to be seen that in some areas, Rooster again, that guy is just
not gonna leave us alone, I look back and I must have been such a
pain in his ass. Because he probably saw Wait, you're so
capable in this area. And when I talk to you, you you're really
smart like you understand these things and everything and then
you disappear, and then the work doesn't get done. And then I
don't understand what's happening. And had I just been
honest, you could have worked around that. And in my own case,
I would rather have someone on my team, promise me 70 and
deliver 70 than promised me 130 and deliver me 80. Because if
someone does what they say they'll do, you can work with
that you can plan around that. And more than that, you're not
wasting your energy, feeling frustrated or confused or trying
to figure things out. First benefit from this you're going
to get is much better relationships with all the
people around you. Because whether or not you realize it,
they kind of know what's up, then they're confused and
worried. And they might notice when you say you'll do things
and don't do them. So being upfront about that is going to
make your relationships a lot more solid, the next thing is
going to do is is going to build your character. Because you know
what destroys your feeling of self worth and your self esteem.
And your character is saying you'll do one thing and not
doing it and then feeling really bad about it and feeling like
there's something wrong with you and going through all these
cycles and all this sort of stuff that really is not fun for
anyone. And then seeing the disappointment in other people's
faces when you've let them down. that destroys someone's self
confidence and self esteem and ultimately leads to less and
less character. But if you get in the habit of owning who you
are, and being honest and saying this is who I am proud of it,
here's what I can do really well, here's what I can do,
you're going to develop your character and you're also going
to learn about yourself a lot faster and develop a lot sooner,
you'll probably shave five years off your development track just
by doing this one thing and owning who you are and being
honest, because it will force you to behave in different ways.
It will build your confidence and it will develop your
character and better relationships. Let me know in
the comments. Are you going to try this out? Are you gonna try
this advice? Let me know what your personality type is. And if
you're going to follow this advice, my name is Dan and this
is Dreams Around The World and my mission is to help you become
the best version of yourself all creating the most awesome life
possible for you and those you love. So if it's not your first
video, hit the subscribe button and I will catch you in the next
one soon.