'I've got a nice selection of obscenities. So that's what you want.'
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘The man ought to be writing science fiction’
‘I think he’s sexy’
The first selling point of 1974’s The Mutations is that the director was Jack Cardiff,
the genius cinematographer best known for his work with Powell and Pressburger.
This was the last and perhaps least of the films he directed.
‘Just look at them, they must have seen something horrible’
The second is that it stars Tom Baker and Donald Pleasence, Dr Loomis and Dr Who.
‘You and I together’
Although Pleasence seems to think he’s still Blofeld.
Oh, how sweet.
Yikes.
The film opens with 8 minutes of plant footage.
'This is not a flower, no matter how much it may resemble one.'
Which ought to be enough to drive half of the audience away before the story even starts.
Despite a brief hint we might be watching Jurassic Park...
‘Within 10 years it is safe to say we shall be able to recreate through time-frozen DNA, a living dinsaur’
This is mainly concerned with Pleasence’s mad university lecturer, Professor Nolter,
trying to create a human plant hybrid.
‘I achieved this ten years ago’
A rat with a twig on it.
‘We’re interested in cloning, not in clowning’
He is helped by Baker’s Lynch,
who works in local carnival.
'Get away from there!'
Making this a weird mash-up of Ed Wood’s Revenge of Dr X,
'But that's impossible Dr!'
and Tod Browning’s Freaks,
'They're going to make you one of them my dear!'
To which The Mutations, which also goes by the title The Freakmaker pays homage.
Or potentially just steals stuff.
'We accept you.'
‘He’s one of us’
The subject is not as well as handled as in Browning’s film, which was contentious to start with,
Also…
‘I didn’t know those shows still existed’
Me neither, and I sort of judge out student heroes for going along.
‘The Bearded Lady’
and laughing. It feels like a pretty gratuitous scene.
‘The lizard woman of Tibet!’
and there’s no reason we need watch the whole show with them.
'When my mother stuck me accidently with a safety pin'
'Suddenly he got the point.'
I’m only mentioning the heroes now because, they barely factor.
They’re just people for Nolter to experiment on.
‘He’ll soon be neither human being nr planet but with the characteristics and advantages of both’
And the wisdom of experimenting on three of his students and just hoping no one will notice is questionable.
‘He makes it sound like bad science fiction’
Just as an example...
‘They’ve asked me to pick up that full-ride scholar guy from America’
This line from student Tony introduces the last of the little hero group.
‘You’re Brian Redford’
A day, later when they visit the carnival, he seems to be dating student Hedi, the one he just met.
'This is the greatest attraction of it's kind in the world.'
Sometimes these things happen fast, but this is our hero couple
and they don’t have one romantic moment through the entire movie.
‘I’m sure there’s a logical explanation’
Meanwhile Dr Nolter has been experimenting on Tony.
‘I think I have succeeded but he got away. There was a struggle’
I have to believe there was a more cinematic way of showing that.
Tony gets in touch with his girlfriend, initially by phone…
then in person.
Not the largest concern but how did he dial the phone?
Anyway, Nolter is killed by his creation.
Lynch is killed by the freaks,
largely, it would seem, over poor working conditions as most of them don’t even know about the mutant plants.
‘What do you want? More money?'
and...
‘I love you’
That ill-defined love story, which has been given no attention & has been built in no way, is how the film ends.
‘I love you too and I need you’
I don’t know these people. It’s no good asking me to start caring now.
'Yes, ladies and gentleman, a truly remarkable human curiosity'
Thanks for watching. To see our review of The Revenge of Dr X and other Ed Wood movies click here.
Carnivals and travelling shows are favourite places to set genre movies; what’s your favourite?
Let us know in the comments below.
'All right, if you want to be sick, let's go'