Hey guys,
you know that controlling your mind
controls your body
and that's the key
for how to initiate and hold a conversation
with a woman you're attracted to
no matter how beautiful she might be.
Now many of you know
what approach anxiety feels like
sweaty palms,
racing heartbeat
maybe even an upset tummy.
No one wants to approach a girl
if you're going to have
mucho grassy ass
thank you very much.
And even if you manage to approach her
your body can still sabotage your success
even if you know all the best pickup lines.
It all starts in your mind
your psychology affects your physiology
and vice versa.
When you master your mind
these conversational strategies
will flow naturally
and talking to beautiful women
will be a lot more fun
and you'll avoid making
and all too common
attraction killing mistake
that too many men make
more on that in a minute.
So, how to initiate
and hold a conversation
with a woman you're attracted to
starts with getting past
stinking thinking
so you can stop simping
or not even approaching women.
Welcome to just the tip.
How to initiate
and hold a conversation
with a woman you're attracted to
of course, is going to start with confidence.
That's no big surprise.
But what is confidence?
Essentially it's knowing yourself,
liking yourself,
respecting yourself,
and accepting yourself.
You know your own good traits
and the traits that
maybe need a little work
and hopefully you're working on.
And you also know the traits that
maybe aren't the best
but you can't change
so you're accepting of those traits.
And for a woman,
which she will notice this in a subtle
subconscious way.
Confidence is knowing that
you can handle the outcome
of whatever life throws at you.
For example,
you finally approach a woman
who you think was giving you the green light
only to be rejected
in a really nasty way.
Instead of taking it personally
you think to yourself
man I dodged a bullet on that one
because I am the prize
and that kind of woman
doesn't deserve me.
And when you have confidence in yourself
it's much easier to approach women
and break the ice.
Now you might be surprised to find out that
breaking the ice
doesn't have to be overly complicated
or even overly creative.
It's okay to keep it simple.
In fact, often it's better.
You really don't need
witty one-liners
or creative conversation openers.
Example, and this happened to me.
(Giggles)
So, not only is it a true story
it's a true story that happened to me.
So, I was in the park
if you read my Memoir
you probably already know the story but anyway,
so I was sitting in a park reading a book
and I was like totally engaged in the book.
So, I wasn't even giving this guy the green light
but he approached me and he just said
hey, I'm JP
you look like a nice person
I thought I'd introduce myself.
Now, that was just simple.
He gave his name,
he introduced himself.
Now I will say
that it's best
to add something like this and I'll tell you why.
So, if you add
I've only got a few minutes
because I've got to be somewhere else
but I just really wanted to come over and say hello.
Or I just really wanted to come over
and talk to you for a minute.
What that does is
obviously she knows you're interested
but it gives her an easy out.
She knows she only has to be nice for a few minutes
if she doesn't really want to
talk to you for longer than that
so there's no pressure on her.
Or you could say something like
I only have a few minutes
but I just wanted to come over and say
you have a really nice smile
or you have a really nice hair
or you look really nice.
Something sincere but complementary
but not over the top
and definitely nothing sexual.
And if she has a bad reaction
no big deal
tell her to have a nice day
and then you just move on.
But if she smiles or thanks you
and doesn't turn away or doesn't
overtly reject you
then that means she is open
to have having a conversation.
And yes, I did have a conversation with JP.
I have to read my Memoir
to find out more about that one.
Speaking of that brings us to number three, conversation.
After introducing yourself
and giving her a non-sexual sincere compliment
you want to avoid
an awkward silence
by asking a casual question.
So, the best way to do this
is just to pay attention to where you are
and what kind of activity you owe her
or she is engaging in
and make an observational question about it.
An observational comment or question.
Question is better because
then she's going to answer you.
Example, let's say you're in a coffee shop you can say
I haven't been to this coffee shop before
what's good on the menu?
Or is it any good?
Or if you do go
to the coffee shop regularly you can say
hey, I come here pretty often
and I haven't seen you before
are you new to the area?
Or like JP said to me in the park
you were really into your book
and I didn't know if I should come and interrupt you
but you look like a nice person
what are you reading?
And then you just want to listen
be curious,
pay attention to the details and definitely don't
interrogate or interview her.
Try to ask open-ended questions not just
questions that will result in a yes or no.
Quick example of that would be
instead of saying do you like the book?
You could say what do you like about the book?
And don't feel like you have to fill
all the quiet spaces.
The silences
it's only awkward if you make it awkward.
You don't have to stare at her
you can be looking around
and just engaging
in the experience of where you are
because non-stop talking
just to fill in those gaps
actually feels more awkward
than a comfortable silence.
And if it's going well
you're going to want to sprinkle in some
playful teasing into the conversation.
How to increase your attraction
by playfully teasing her
more on that in a minute,
but first, sharing.
Sharing is caring.
So, you know how I've said many times
Wingman motto
always leave them wanting more.
Well, the key is you have to give them enough
to actually want more.
So, you need to give them a taste
but not the whole cake.
And you do this by finding ways
to introduce some emotional intimacy.
Emotional intimacy helps with bonding.
It helps her feel comfortable
around you and makes you familiar to her,
which of course helps with trust
and as I've said many times
women's primary need is to feel safe
physically and emotionally.
So, how to do this
is by talking
about your passions and your hobbies
without refrain, without
holding yourself back
because you're self-conscious
of those passions
or the things that you're excited about.
Animation and expression
are attractive see what I just did there
that made you feel a little bit more
happy in a way, hopefully.
So, don't be afraid to express
with emotion or with passion
or excitement things that you're happy about in life
or that you're excited about doing
or you're passionate about doing
and also
throw in a little bit of vulnerability.
Wait, what?
Women don't want men to be vulnerable.
Well, yes they do,
but there is a caveat, caveat.
Let's start with an example,
after you've chatted a while
and made her smile or even laugh
then you might say something like
hmm, you seem like a pretty great woman
or hmm, you seem like a pretty great girl
I bet you're a heartbreaker.
Now, this is a very subtle vulnerability,
which is good.
So you're not saying
you're going to crush my heart and soul
and I can't deal with it.
No, you were saying
you're open to opening your heart
maybe with her
but what is she going to do with it?
Key point,
being open without being desperate
is not weak, it's brave.
And key point,
the difference between
sexy vulnerability
and not sexy vulnerability
depends on where that vulnerability comes from.
Vulnerability rooted in love and compassion
is sexy.
Vulnerability rooted in
weakness, desperation, and neediness
is not sexy.
Now if you want me to expand
on that topic in another video
write it in the comments below.
And if you like this video so far
click the like and subscribe.
Okay now, the next tip
on how to initiate
and hold a conversation
with a woman you're attracted to
is the one a lot of guys get wrong.
Five, make her feel special
without simping
that's the key point without simping.
If you do something
she knows is especially for her
she'll feel special.
Women want to feel special,
we want to feel cherished,
we want to feel special.
But overdoing it
makes her feel cringe
like you're trying too hard
because you don't feel worthy of her.
This is where over complimenting comes in.
So, the best way to make her feel special
without overdoing it
is to limit it to one action.
So, one sincere compliment
that's specific to her
or one specific action, etc.
when you do something special specifically for her
or give her a specific compliment
that she knows must be
specifically for her
maybe it's about the color of her eyes
or maybe it's about the color of her hair
or maybe it's about a tattoo.
Okay, let's get that one.
Okay anyways, something that
she knows it's about her.
This is going to make her feel a little bit closer to you
and if you do some
of the other flirting suggestions coming up
then it won't feel so unexpected
or uncomfortable.
So this brings us to getting closer
and then we're going to talk about the number one
critical thing you must remember
when you meet a woman you're super attracted to
but first, let's look at getting closer.
Intimacy requires closeness
both physical and emotional.
Now you've already done a little bit emotional
by introducing
some passions and vulnerability.
So, now let's look at
the physical part.
Now of course, you're not going to go straight from
sharing your vulnerability to
making out with her
if she's girlfriend material.
But getting closer physically
is a natural progression
from emotional closeness.
Again, more on teasing, flirting, and touching in a minute.
So by now
you should be looking at her a little longer
holding eye contact for a little longer.
And if she reciprocates or doesn't pull away
move in closer.
If she doesn't move away
or look away for a long time
she might initially because
she's flushed
with attraction.
But if she doesn't move away
or she smiles or she maintains eye contact
or gets closer to you or touches you
then yes, it's safe to ask for her number.
Because now is the time
to leave her wanting more.
You can say something like
oh, man I'm going to be late
what are you doing to me woman?
Let me get your number and we can continue this another time.
Strategies employed
and yeah, you can call them games,
whatever. This is psychology
this is the way it works
I know I know
master it and you'll feel better about it.
Okay, the reason why this works is because
you're using the retraction close.
These are not official
terms I just made them up.
But anyways, retraction close.
You are leaving
because you've got to be somewhere.
Always leave her wanting more.
The not really a neg close.
She's to blame
for making you late
because she's so intriguing,
she feels special.
And the assumptive close.
The one I used in real estate sales
to be very, very successful
and that is the you're not asking,
you're assuming,
you're not asking for her number
or asking her if she wants to get together,
you're assuming you're going to get her number,
and you're assuming you are going to get together.
And what is that show? Confidence.
That's right okay number seven,
and then how to effectively
tease, flirt, and touch.
Number seven, just because you can
doesn't mean you should.
A critical point
for a man learning how to initiate
and hold a conversation
with a woman you're attracted to
is to make sure there's true compatibility.
Said it in many other videos
attraction isn't enough,
connection isn't enough,
chemistry isn't enough.
The reason why so many marriages fail
is partially because
people are getting together with the wrong partner.
So, just because you can have her
doesn't mean you should have her.
If you're looking
for your forever mate
then you want to make sure
you know your deal breakers
and your deal makers
so you can pay attention
to the flags that show up.
When the things
that you don't want are there
and the things that you do want are there.
Follow your heart
no wait, follow your heart
but take your head
this one with you.
The other one is
the one leading you down
the wrong path often times.
Be honest with yourself and with her
and always trust your gut
not your nether regions.
And to know exactly
how to tease,
touch, and flirt
with her along the way
you'll want to watch my supplementary video
on how to tease, touch, and flirt with her.
Watch that one now.
Thanks for being here, God bless.
(Music)