He puts in that effort, he pays for the date, he's the one who asks, he sets it up, he picks
the location the time everything. What does the woman offer in return for that? Let's start with
you. I guess it depends. I mean you show up. You show up, what does that mean? Like, you do respect
his time because he's doing all this. You have a good time with him and then essentially like
I think you, I mean sometimes like I would buy drinks for like
my said date for example like reciprocate in some way. Does that make sense? Well how would
you reciprocate if he's the one who's paying for everything? But it's not just dinner. It's always
dinner and something right? Not always. Okay so you're saying you go out to dinner and drinks,
he pays for dinner, you guys go somewhere else and you're gonna try to pay for the next thing.
I essentially do. Okay, I don't know if I believe you. I do. Oh Liz yeah she totally does. I do,
I paid for a lot of stuff. Okay, so you reciprocate in that way. What about you
Crystal? You get my complete energy. I think about you as a person who you are and then I imagine if
this will work in the future and I try to figure out if this is something I want to continue to
pursue all night long. And it's a mental game I'm playing the entire day. But it isn't the guy doing
the exact same thing? He's showing up, he's giving the energy or seeing your energy whatever. Yeah.
So he's still, so it's still the same thing. What you're saying he's also
doing that. In a different way though, I feel like a guy is just trying to impress,
correct me if I'm wrong. I mean I think we're all trying to impress. No one goes into a date
not trying to impress in some way or at least hope that they've made an impression. Yeah. So
Peyton. I mean yeah um, I'm here for a good time and appetizers. But um no I mean I'll absolutely
give like my full-on attention and whatnot. And usually I mean for me it's a bad habit,
but I'm always like all right on to the next. What are we gonna do after this? So like usually
it's going to be a bar and well listen I'll pay for drinks after that, not a big deal. Maybe,
if that happens. If it happens I mean usually I'm like well then you're a bum. Let's go out
all night or I don't know but um yeah I mean if it's going to, if the conversation's good
we're vibing I mean hopefully it carries on into the night and onto the next bar onto the next
restaurant whatever it is, but yeah I mean I'll give them my undivided attention. KK talk to me.
Yes, my presence. What the girls were saying um I would look at it like from
a guy's perspective like in return personally I put you at a higher standard if you do that,
a much higher standard and I'm much more likely to have meaningful conversations with you,
spend some time get to know you and really consider you. If you already set up the day
like set up the entire plan I haven't even been on the date but I'm ready to go on the second date.
I put you at a higher standard. So just more of you. Yeah yeah
so I think that men should really consider doing that like really just
planning it out. So let me give you a little perspective from the man's side. Imagine a guy,
and there's a few listening right now, hears that okay so just let me really explain what you just
described. That a man has to show up and pay for the date and he gets all the exact same things
that you would be expecting on the other side. Everyone shows up to a date
offering themselves but in the way that you guys put it you're like well if he pays I'm
going to give myself like she's more special than him. Is she more special than him? Is
she the prize here? Yeah. Because the way that you're saying it that's what's set up to be.
I mean again I follow the more traditional path of like women should be respected
because we're like the ones doing the whole creating life thing and
going to cater to you if it's the more traditional path which I would follow. And then it begs the
question, do you think that's what a man wants? Do you think a man comes to a date and says
I can't wait to pay for this date so she does the exact same thing that I'm gonna do here and
there's this imbalance because she thinks she's the prize. I think he's just providing. I think
it's just another way of providing. Totally, I agree. But what is she providing? Nothing,
she just has to show up. These are just the norms though. Like it's really hard to get out of these
norms. I mean well whether they're norms or not norms. I don't think that's norms though. Viewing
it in that perspective is not norms, that's not traditional. That's like this modern like quick
gratification system that we have in place. How do you mean? Like oh okay I paid now you're expected
to do what? Like what do you want in return? Well you guys expect him to pay. Yeah it's monetary.
But its value right money just is a way of showing value. I mean I think
it depends so like for instance a lot of my dates have been solely through dating apps
where I've met someone and in my mind when I'm going on these first dates I'm thinking
they only want one thing at the end of the night. You only want one thing at the end of the night,
for him to pay. Oh yeah I was like... where is this going? It's as if you almost don't really
respect what the man has to do to even make the money. Well I think too it all goes down. Wait
hold on what did you say there? You don't respect that? I do respect the fact that he worked his ass
off. You don't because you just show up and expect to be paid. No that's not what I'm expecting. I'm
expecting you to like tell me why I shouldn't feel like why I should trust you why I should
like put my energy towards you and continue that. He should also be thinking the same thing of you
though. Right. But he still has to pay. But he asked me on the date. Exactly, exactly.