Would you like to know why you're having
these reactions so bad?
Sure.
One is, and I hate to sound like a Freudian,
one of the things he got right is
that daughters are really impacted
by their relationships with their fathers,
and if there's a really great relationship
with their father,
and that father makes
that daughter feel like she is the princess,
she is the most wonderful, special girl in the world,
then it really makes her strong
and feel good about herself and helps her
to have a great self image,
and therefore when some boy comes along and says,
"Wow, you're really special," she goes like,
"Yeah, I know that."
(audience laughing)
And if that doesn't happen, and some boy comes along
and blows in her ear and says you're really special,
she goes, "Oh, really?"
And she just leans in there like, "Oh my God,
"I've been waiting my whole life to hear that."
The fact of the matter is your dad's not really
in the picture at this point, right?
And so that makes you kind of vulnerable.
The second thing,
you said this,
and I actually took it out of your tape piece
and I wanna play that.
Here's exactly what you said.
And I didn't know how to handle the situation
so I broke down.
I didn't know how to handle the situation
so I broke down.
So if I took you and put you in the cockpit
of a jet airplane, would you know what to do?
No.
Would you know how to get it on the ground?
No.
What would likely happen?
Crash.
Damn right.
(audience laughing)
You would crash.
Why?
Because I don't know how to handle the situation.
So nobody in their right mind would take a child
and put 'em in a situation they don't know how to handle,
and that's why she has a parent.
A parent is supposed to keep kids out
of situations they don't know how to handle.
(audience clapping)
She still has stuffed animals on her bed
and you've got her in an adult relationship dealing
with adult emotions and adult behaviors
and adult pain in an adult-like breakup,
and she doesn't have any more idea how to deal
with that than she would landing an Airbus 380.
Yep.
The third reason is you've neglected
the most important relationship in your life
and that's the one that you have with yourself.
Tell me the five best things about you.
Number one?
Loyal.
Okay, you're loyal.
Dedicated.
Honest.
(pen marking on paper)
I can tolerate a lot of stuff.
Okay, so you're tolerant?
Okay.
Supportive.
Why did you have to dig so hard for that?
Had to think about it.
Do you think about those things
when somebody breaks up with you?
Do you think, well you know what?
They just turned around and walked off from somebody
that is loyal, dedicated, honest,
very tolerant,
and supportive.
That's who they just walked away from.
Dummy.
(audience laughing)
Do you ever think that?
No.
Think about what I did wrong or how I wasn't good enough
in this way or that way, and I think
about how I just don't have the personality
or the looks that they might want.
Well boy, you rattled those off really quick.
You seem to know the things
that are negatives just on speed dial,
but you really have to dig for the things
that are good about you.