we've all heard of the American dream right I'm Canadian I and I know it but how do you get it
conventional wisdom says that you're an actor lawyer athlete or doctor right if you want that
amazing lifestyle these are the professions and that's why we send our smart children to tutoring
and our Athletic kids do hockey practice at six o'clock in the morning before they get shuttled
off to school we believe that success in one of these careers is going to lead to Lavish parties
amazing relationships where you're going to get to network and keep working on your your financial
freedom and your life is going to be well enviable and during your free time well you're probably
either going to be golfing or skiing or getting massages and working out with your personal
trainer an amazing lifestyle are you a doctor a celebrity or an athlete well if you're not
does that mean that you can't have the American dream and well no it doesn't mean that because
there's a second way to get to that American Dream it's worked really hard and just use brute force
and tenacity to push and push and push and push until you achieve are you starting to see that
there's a problem here first somehow the American dream has been changed from anyone has the ability
to achieve their version of success to this narrow idea of success equals money and fame and status
and a life of leisure secondly because this is our definition of success we're not focused on
what actually makes us each happy as individuals have you ever noticed that when we meet new people
we have a tendency to ask them what they do for a living why is that we want to know
how they contribute to Society and also because it's where they spend the majority of their
time of their day this is the activity they're engaged in but what happens if I hate my job
what happens if the thing that I'm doing doesn't provide anything positive for society in both of
those situations I'm not going to be satisfied with my life even if I'm making a large amount
of money doing what I'm doing we struggle to understand how is it that people that have
what we want fame status and money report being depressed and unhappy and give up on their lives
and it's because the true American dream is about achieving success as defined by the individual so
you have a child and you're holding that child in your hands and you're looking at them
and you want that child to have things have things that you didn't have if you
struggled with money you want them to have that if you struggled with recognition and
status you want them to have that if you struggled in relationships that's
what you're hoping for for them as a society we have a tendency to focus on avoiding problems
and seeking pleasure take a moment and look around at all the tech that we have that's solely about
ourselves as adults and our children seeking pleasure the number one thing we do on our
computers the number one thing we do on our phones we're constantly seeking pleasure or using these
things as diversions to avoid pain we don't need to leave our houses to watch a movie anymore
or to do a face time with somebody we don't even need to have another person in our house
to be sexually entertained by another person but the question is is any of this healthy for us we
are social beings and in today's world we figured out ways to have social interaction without there
being a person in the room with us I'm asking you to consider that possibly that's a problem in
today's world a child from an average household is being bombarded with images of Wealth Beyond their
imagination but they're being marketed to as if this is this is easily accessible just work hard
you can get this that child is being presented with images of how their body should look all
without any realistic explanation of how did that person achieve that goal right they're not being
told that that person works out like it's their job and either eats a very curated diet or barely
at all these unrealistic ideas about wealth and body type and body shape are detached from the
presenters actual realistic happiness level that does the typical influencer press record [Music]
when they're not doing well when they're falling apart most don't do we share that we hated what
we needed to eat in order to achieve this party or how much working out we had to do to achieve
do we share that it was grueling and and that I wouldn't do it again most don't the average viewer
you me our kids they're feeling like losers when they look at these images these social
media depictions of what life is supposed to look like because they don't have it
and this is what they're being told is the sign of being a successful person today and what they do
is they grind harder trying to make it happen and what happens what happens when we fail our
mood takes a hit and then we turn around and we self-soothe we self-soothe with video games
gambling drinking sex and food the stuff that we actually have access to but the problem is that
self-soothing behavior gets us into trouble obviously self-soothing with sex can lead to
unwanted pregnancies it can lead to cheating on your spouse it could lead to all kinds of
relationship issues because you're not engaging honestly with the other person right you're trying
to make yourself feel better at their expense when we self-soothe with food and drinking
we're damaging our health and we don't think about that because in the moment it feels
good self-soothing with any of these things can also have a huge negative impact on your work
because whether it's keeping me up late at night causing me stress causing me arguments
with my spouse which caused me stress at work it's interfering with your ability to then go
and do the job you're trying to do well we live in a world with a lot of options for
empty pleasure and the illusion of escaping the dissatisfaction that we have with our lives I
had to be faced with the possibility of a hip surgery to take a close look at my weight issue
at the foods that I was eating and the joint pain that I had dealt with for years the extra weight
wasn't enough to push me to tackle that problem right the the tasty Foods were were too tasty it
is unfortunate that for most of us we need to be in the position of our health failing before we
will address a real problem that's in front of us we don't take the time to stop and evaluate
the goals that we're working towards are they truly going to help me accomplish what I'm trying
to accomplish my life being happier and I do believe that this comes back to the American dream
happiness isn't about having what you see on social media and it's foolish for me to
believe that my grade 11 teenager is in a position today to choose the career that
she's going to have forever when in fact she hasn't been out in life and worked enough to
even know what kind of job she'd like because she's never worked more than part-time in a
fun job that she didn't need to support herself with when we're in real world situations we get
feedback different work experiences give us different feedback some of them are going to
lead to us feeling satisfied and happy with what we've done and other jobs are going to leave us
feeling like it was lacking and it's not and not interesting to us we need these experiences to
understand what work environment is really going to work for us long term in the American dream
where does happiness come into the equation how does it contribute to success we have it backwards
we're saying get this you'll be happy without knowing that the person even wants this I want you
to consider that happiness enjoyment satisfaction with the actions that you take on a regular basis
on a daily basis at work or at home it's a huge part in your evaluation of your life as successful
or not I want to challenge this idea that money is the most important factor to measure I want
you to think about the fact that your physical and mental health are much more important than
how much money you're making what I've learned in the last four years is that all the hard work that
I put in to working for myself fighting to get my weight under control and by the way not losing the
weight that I was trying to lose proving to the world that I was a good mother by owning a home
on my own and on top of that renting an office to work out of taking my daughter on vacations
buying myself every fancy Gadget that it comes out and buying one for my daughter having the
fancy car and and and and and and and none of it made me anywhere as happy as when I went
riding with my daughter on our bicycles or long boarding with my daughter or my daughter and I
learning to all eat together on skateboards none of those things cost a lot of money being healthy
and being able to use my body to do fun things things that I consider fun trumps everything else
the money isn't the most important thing I had to almost lose my ability to walk to figure this out
and I'm trying to save you guys the pain if the solutions that you're putting in place do not
actually change the original problem that you're trying to solve it's not a real solution find
someone to talk to so you can work on the real problem if you're not able to figure it out by
yourself and then make a plan and then change the original problem make it something else and that
way you'll be able to know if that solution worked I suggest starting by eating a healthy diet that
eliminates Cravings I made a video about it that you can check out here I'll meet you over there