Heya playa, do you find it hard to talk about yourself in a way that makes you sound interesting
but doesn't bore the other person? Don't worry. In this video, I'm going to share four conversation
tips that you can start using to help make your conversations more fun, exciting, and
will help amplify whatever it is you want to share. This is The Josh Speaks. You're
watching The Josh Speaks. My name is Josh and every single week I make videos sharing
tips, ideas, and stories teaching you how to be your best self and when it comes to
having conversations the biggest fear that most people have is that the other person
is not going to enjoy the thing that you're talking about. So even if it's something you're
super passionate about, there's always this underlying fear of does this person actually
care. And you can nicely place that fear on top of the already existing fear of do I have
anything interesting to say. These are some of the biggest things that people tend to
struggle with because they don't really know how to tell good stories. They don't really
know how to make their stories captivating and interesting so I'm gonna walk you through
those tips now. The goal of telling any story is to hook that person's interest. So, tip
number one is to focus on the emotional parts of the story and tell them as if they're happening
right now. Here's an example, when I was young I actually fell into an open grave at a cemetery.
It's a long story, check out the video over here but if I were to tell that story now,
I would probably really heighten the emotional parts of it. Me falling, me not knowing what's
going on. Instead of saying "I was really scared that day", I would just kind of look
around and express the fact that I was scared as I'm telling the story so that the person
listening can feel the emotion I felt at that moment. Also, you're gonna wanna make sure
to be super descriptive. So I might tell people, you know I was a little kid I was like this
tall and that grave looked like it was miles and miles above me. I just looked up and was
terrified. The more animated you get, the more emotional that story will feel and that
person will really jump on that rollercoaster of emotions that you're experiencing as you're
telling it. Tip number two is to give space for the person listening to offer their own
emotional responses. As you're telling that story, try to listen to see how they are feeling
at that moment. They may say things like "Oh my god, I can't believe that happened!" or
"Wow, weren't you incredibly scared?". Those are opportunities to really connect with how
they're feeling emotionally which is gonna draw them in closer. Remember, when it comes
to you being an interesting storyteller it's not just you relaying the story too them.
You want to be interactive, you want to get their feedback so if they have something to
say or are just sharing their feelings stop what you're doing and bring that into the
story. Acknowledge it so that they feel like they want to hear the next part. Plus, there's
gotta be a level of enthusiasm when you talk. A lot of times people feel kind of ashamed
or embarrassed if what they're talking about isn't all that interesting but you can make
whatever it is you're talking about sound more interesting by caring about that topic
so you gotta go in more confident in what you're sharing. Stop doubting yourself, stop
beating yourself up. This is an interesting thing to tell that person. Tip number three
is probably my favorite and that's to use cliffhangers during the story and build suspense
with pausing. Cliffhangers are great because they always leave the person wondering what
happened next. For example, I went out once with my brother and a bunch of people and
met this girl amongst her group of friends, pulled her aside and as I was talking to her
and telling her a story, a psychological test called "The Cube", before I actually explained
what the cube was I ended the story and said, "Hey look, I gotta go but let me get your
number and I'll text you the rest of the story". She gave me her number so incredibly fast
because she really wanted to know what the cube was. What did it mean? What did it represent?
And because I kind of ended on a cliffhanger where I didn't explain to her that night I
knew that we were going to have a part two to that conversation just because she really
wanted to know. But, let's say you want to add suspense to the current conversation you're
having. Well, pausing will help you do that trick. For example, if I were telling you
the story of how there was a ghost in my house that would always scratch my back if I were
to tell you that I woke up one night, and then all of a sudden I saw this figure and
it was a ghost. See how I kind of paused in between each part and added more suspense
to tell you that it was a ghost? That's how pausing can help you move your storytelling
up a notch. Now if you do it too much, it can actually hurt the story because the person
is gonna feel like they're just waiting more than they actually have to so you want to
make sure to include it at the right moments. The most suspenseful and highest points of
the story where you're really going to hook them in. Tip number four here is essential.
Make sure to bring the conversation back to the person you're talking to and ask them
about their own similar experiences. A good storyteller isn't just the person who's talking
all the time, it's a person who's asking questions. You're trying to understand if this matters
to you and if you've had similar things to deal with. For example, if you're telling
a story about a crazy ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend that you had or dealing with someone that
was insecure or jealous or anyone of that nature, ask them about their own experiences.
Have they ever had a friend that was like that? Have they ever been in a relationship?
Have they ever dealt with something like that before? Turning it around to getting them
to now share with you is gonna help you guys grow closer together. Plus it's going to show
them that you actually have a genuine interest in who they are and what their experience
has been like. Most people completely miss this opportunity because they spend the whole
time talking about themselves and never really give that other person a chance to share,
to open up, to talk about what matters to them. So if you want to be a good storyteller,
you first need to work on being a good listener. I wanna give a huge shout out to all my patrons
and YouTube channel members, these are the people that help the channel grow so if you
wanna learn how you can talk to me one on one every single month check out the link
to Patreon down below. Now what I want you to do is check out the video over there on
the side where I'm gonna go more in-depth on how to be interesting and how to stand
out when you're focused on someone that you like. Also, I'm gonna link up a playlist of
my life stories. This is how I tell stories and some of the things I've gone through in
my own life that I want to share with you so check out those links and I'll catch you
next time. As always, love and peace.