You know, I believe that Coach Mike Bayer
is a legitimate change agent in people's lives.
He can truly help anyone get from where they are today
to where they want to be in every aspect of their lives.
And I'm proud to call him a friend
and a part of the Dr. Phil team.
Now, he also has written a book called
Best Self, Be You, Only Better
and let me tell you,
I consider this book to be a how to manual
to maximize your potential
by discovering the best person that you can be.
So, welcome Coach Mike Bayer.
(clapping)
When people are gonna make changes in their life
you come down a path and you get to a fork in the road,
where do you fit in there?
There's two roads we go down,
one is the medical,
mental illness,
kind of the mental health road
and the other road we go down is the coaching,
how do I get better, how do I improve my life,
how do I be a better version of myself.
So, one version assumes mental illness,
it's a medical model,
it assumes there might be medication involved,
there might be mental illness involved,
and the other assumes an absence of pathology,
it assumes that
somebody's not necessarily mentally ill,
they just wanna maximize who they are
and what they're doing and that's where you focus, right?
That's where I focus and I think right now
what we have is
the irony is having a mental health group
when right now it appears you both
are creating mental harm.
Bullying of any kind on the internet is damaging,
it's hurtful.
And you both have been hurt.
Would y'all agree with that?
I don't know how I hurt her feelings but.
No, no, have your feelings been hurt?
I'm humiliated by what was
written about me. Yeah, that's what we mean,
you feel attacked, you feel humiliated,
you feel like people have talked badly about you
so you feel damaged,
you feel hurt. I do, I feel.
And you feel hurt.
You feel damaged and attacked, right?
Well, yeah.
I've lost my job. And it's not a matter
of whether you justify it or not,
you both feel that way.
If I said, okay, Coach Mike,
do your thing.
If you were gonna coach in a situation like this
what's the first thing you do
when you get involved in coaching someone like this?
Well, I've written down some notes
based upon watching and the first thing we would do
is we would remove any of the toxicity in your life.
I think if we back-stepped a little bit
it would be, how can you both be examples
to all the children out there, all the young adults,
all the people that wanna be mental health advocates?
How do you get through this problem
and get to the other side in a healthier way?
Okay, so when you say remove all the toxicity,
this relationship would be toxic.
Would you agree?
I do agree.
And you would agree
this is a toxic relationship?
Absolutely.
So, when you say remove the toxicity,
you would sever this relationship?
I would end this relationship.
It seems you both are consumed.
I don't know what she'll do next.
That's what we're talkin' about here.
I'm trying to-- I know.
I don't know that you can remove this toxicity.
But you don't know that you can't.
You say that you don't know that you can,
you don't know that you can't.
Only person you control is you.
Absolutely.
And I apologize for what I did.
Okay and what Coach Mike is saying is,
you two need to take each other's name
out of your vocabulary.
I said that. You need to let
me finish what I'm saying.
I'm sorry but I'm not getting my story out there.
I'm not getting my story out there.
Do you wanna be right or do you wanna be happy?
I want to be right and happy.
Okay, you say you want to get your story out there.
We'll stop this and get
your story out. And waste five minutes
of your life?
It's okay. Nope.
No, get the story out.
The floor is yours. No, it's just that--
Now she's the victim again.
No, no.
I don't need your help. I am not.
She's the victim.
I don't need your help.
You want your story out, go.
The point is is that this person
has invaded, sent things that blew up in my house,
she has taken my job from me,
and I don't know what's next from her.
Who contacted who when you
lost your job? Hold on, wait a minute.
No, no, no, stop talking. 'Cause I was totally done.
Or I'm gonna remove you from the stage.
Okay, I'm sorry.
(cheering)