If you don't want to be a part of that
panic and, also, you don't want to
continue wiping your butt with your money
then this video is for you.
And this is about 10 ways of how you can
wipe your butt for free.
Good day everyone. Rob Greenfield, here
and I am in southern France.
It's just close to week 3 of the lockdown
here and we are in the middle of the
coronavirus pandemic.
For a lot of people the world is a
drastically different place then it was
just a few weeks or a few months ago.
A lot of people are re-thinking
everything...re-thinking their lives
and the way they have designed their lives.
So, today I want to talk about an
interesting thing and that is toilet paper.
You know, a lot of us actually spend a
good amount of our hard earned money
on wiping our butts.
Think about that for a second, we work
at a job, for many of us that we don't
like, we'd rather be doing something else,
to make money to wipe our butts.
And it's not a minimal amount of money.
Over a lifetime some people spend
thousands of dollars to wipe their butts
and their family's butts. So let's think about this.
How can we stop wiping our butts with our money?
And right now is a really important time
to talk about this and the reason why is
you've seen aisles of toilet paper,
the shelves of toilet paper, just being
emptied because of panic shopping
and panic buying.
The thing is, this is not an isolated incident.
The emptying of the shelves of toilet
paper is something that has happened
often when people are in panic situations.
It's something that's happened plenty of
times in the past and it's something that
is likely to happen plenty of times in the future.
If you don't want to be a part of
that panic, and also, you don't want to
continue wiping your butt with your
money, then this video is for you and
this is about 10 ways of how you can wipe
your butt for free.
And, an important part about this
is not chopping down trees, the
environmental impact of toilet paper is huge!
We chop down, probably, millions
and millions of trees per year. To make
that toilet paper takes a huge amount of
water to mill and to pulp those trees into
toilet paper, a huge amount of
electricity. Most of which is made from
fossil fuels. And then to ship this
stuff all over the place takes more fossil fuels.
So, lots of money, huge waste of
environmental resources, and is your
butt secure in a time like this if you are
dependent on toilet paper?
For some of us, no.
First of all, how you can wipe your butt
for free, Number 1, my favorite, is grow
your own toilet paper. In Florida, where
I lived and grew and foraged 100% of my
food, I grew a plant called Blue Spur Flower.
The genus and species is Plectranthus Barbatus.
Super soft! It was softer than anything
you can buy at the store. It actually
is in the mint family so it has a
wonderful mint smell. And I know a lot
of people love their wet wipes. Well I've
got a special surprise for you if you love your wet wipes.
On a dewy morning, when the mist settles
on that (plant), it actually has these
fine hairs that trap that moisture
and turn it into a wet wipe.
So you have toilet paper and wet wipe
in one, depending on the day.
You could probably even mist the thing
if you wanted to turn it into a wet wipe on a dry day.
Very strong, durable, and I actually found
that I could pick them and set them next
to my toilet for up to a week with them
still holding their sturdiness.
And just a great size, too, about
something like that, as the leaf.
Not to mention the fact that they attract pollinators.
I had hummingbirds on my
Blue Spur Flower and butterflies.
I mean, we are talking about a fantasy plant, here.
But it's not a fantasy it's a real thing.
Plectranthus Barbatus grows in about
zones 8 through 10 so not the colder climates.
However, there are plenty of
other toilet paper plants that can be
grown in gardens or is growing wildly.
Mullein is one of them and there is
also Lamb's Ear like the softness of a lamb's ear.
There are many different plants, you can
grow them. If you go to robgreenfield.org/toiletpaper
I have listed the plants that you can grow
and have information about the Blue Spur Flower.
So, number 2, I am going to get into some
ways to use water.
Water, in some places, costs money so
this isn't technically completely free
but it's as close to free as possible.
So, you have the bidet.
This is something that millions of people
around the world have used for a very long time.
A bidet squirts water and cleans without
the need for toilet paper, without the need to wipe.
Now if you don't have a bidet, those
probably cost a decent amount to get one
installed, the good news is there are other options.
There are little units that you can
actually install right onto your toilet
that are very inexpensive that turn your
regular old flush toilet into a bidet.
There are other options, too, though.
The next option is called a bum gun.
This is number 3.
And it's a little hose-like nozzle and
you just spray and it does the same job as
a bidet but you actually have to spray it.
And then number 4 is a little kettle.
In parts of the world...I know in India,
I was actually introduced to this by an
Indian roommate. You just have a little
metal kettle...it could be plastic, too,
and you hold this and then you pour it
onto your butt and you wipe with the other
hand to have the flowing water and then
basically the poop particles would go
right into the toilet and be flushed that way.
So, that is a little kettle.
Now a makeshift one that you could make
is a plastic bottle and you poke holes
in the cap of the plastic water bottle
and then you just squeeze that.
And that works really great for camping.
But it could be used at home as well, but
if you are camping that's a beautiful
little, super light, it could be crunched
down even, and it's your little portable
butt sprayer, toilet paper free way to clean your butt.
Also, of course, just showering.
Now if you are a once a day pooper and you
like to take your showers once a day
this is perfect. You just poop and then
take your shower and clean in the shower.
If you poop 5 times a day like some people
do, 5 showers a day is not exactly ideal.
But that's 5 different ways that you can
use water to clean your butt.
And then there is also...if you have
a sink right next to your toilet you could
also just use that as well. You kind of
need the ideal sink/toilet location.
But billions of people around the world
just use water. It's not crazy whatsoever
and actually a lot of people think it's
more hygienic because you actually get rid
of the poop particles from your butt,
not like, one of my former partners would
say with toilet paper, you mostly just
pack them on there and don't really get it fully clean.
So, those are some water ones.
Let's see, I'm going to go back to some
paper forms. Number 5 is actually a way to
find toilet paper for free. And that is
dumpster diving at places that sell toilet
paper like pharmacies.
I've done a lot of dumpster diving
to raise awareness about food waste.
And what I discovered is that many
pharmacies will throw out the 12 packs or
the 24 packs of toilet paper because
either they get crushed or because
I think someone steals one and they don't
sell a 23 pack, they sell 24 packs so they
toss out the whole thing and I can't tell
you how many times I found 12 packs or
24 packs of perfectly good toilet paper
completely unused. We are talking about
just one removed or the package is just squished.
So, dumpster diving at pharmacies.
Now, another idea that I came up with
that I never put to the test, would be
dumpster diving at the factories that
make this stuff because if they have
misprints or the wrong shape, they might
be throwing away insane amounts.
Most industries do make mistakes and
throw away lots of things and I would
imagine that toilet paper industry is probably similar.
So dumpster diving for toilet paper is
an excellent way.
The next one is, you know, something that
some people won't be comfortable with
just because of the social stigma...oh,
well a lot of people wouldn't be okay with
the social stigma of dumpster diving for
toilet paper, either, but got to get over
those social stigmas instead of just...
you know, just rethink social stigmas.
Is wiping your butt with your money better
than re-thinking social stigmas? For me,
it's about thinking about how I can live
in a way that's beneficial to the earth,
my community and myself. Remove myself
from the broken systems. And to do that
I have to go against the grain of society,
generally, because the grain of society is
more of a consumeristic, spend your money,
have to make money, way of doing things. So, sidenote.
Back to this one. A lot of fast food
restaurants, when you buy a meal, they
give you 5, 10 napkins.
Most people don't use all those napkins
so what they do is, often they just leave
everything on the table and there
is a stack of napkins and the people that
come down to take those trays, they
don't put those napkins back.
They throw them away.
So you can go to these restaurants,
just walk in and just grab those napkins.
Not mooching in any way, these are
napkins that would have gone to the
landfill. Take those home, cut them up.
If you just take scissors and cut around
the edges so that it is not connected in
all those pieces, you just have nice
squares. You could make a big stack of
those squares right by your toilet.
And in 10 or 15 minutes you can get
a month's supply of toilet paper by doing that.
Another way to wipe your butt for free
is newspaper.
Now, newspaper is not my favourite way.
It's not the softest. I love growing my
own toilet paper. So honestly, the
newspaper thing is something that I have
rarely done, but I have.
And I should say that every one of these
suggestions that I am giving, I have done.
So these are personal, first hand and also
first hand of many, many, many people around the world.
So, newspaper. Very simple
An important thing to mention is
that you can only put into your toilet
what should be in that system.
So growing your own toilet paper probably
most of those leaves are not going to be
good for the septic system.
Newspaper? Not good for the septic
system or the waste water plant.
So for things that aren't flushable
there are a couple things you can do.
First of all, ideally, have a compost
toilet and then any of those things can go
right into the compost and create soil.
That way you are solving a lot of other
problems and creating nutritious soil for growing food.
But the other options with that are,
you can just throw it in the garbage can.
And if you go to places like Mexico,
for example, most of the toilets just have
a garbage can next to them and they
throw the toilet paper in there. Not flush it.
So this would be no different.
You would just have a garbage can for the
toilet paper and you could throw that away.
But the better thing to do is, you don't
need to have a compost toilet, you can
just have...next to your toilet you can
have a bin for these papers and then
you can compost that paper.
You can figure out a way. Where there is
a will there is a way.
But you shouldn't flush those things
I'm pretty certain of that.
Now, actually, even better than those
and I should have mentioned this one
at the very top, because this is a really
great way to do it, and that is to have
reusable wipes. Cloth pads.
Now there are a lot of people out there
who use cloth diapers for their babies
and this is no different than that.
You basically take cloth, one thing you
can do is you can take old t-shirts,
you cut them into squares, like toilet
paper, and you wipe your butt with them
and then you have a little basket next to
your toilet and then you wash them.
So these are washable, cloth, reusable
toilet paper. It makes a lot of sense.
Again, for some people that might seem
kind of weird but the reality is it works
really well and a lot of people do it and
it's no crazier than having to change
kid's diapers and it's very much in
alignment with just using reusable diapers.
Okay, last couple. Now, I'm going to
transition on to more of the 'woodsy
wiping'. These are things I would do
more likely when I'm out in nature
camping rather than at home.
So one is smooth rocks.
Smooth rocks are a wonderful way to
wipe the butt.
You take that smooth rock,
you wipe and this is done using the
'leave no trace ethics' so this is not
pooping all over the place for other
people to step in or anything like that.
You have to dig a hole and bury this
and have the poop be in the ground, not exposed.
You want to practice 'leave no trace'
ethics and just look that up, in fact,
I will have a link to 'leave no trace' in
the description of this video.
And then the other one is leaves.
So, finding the right leaves in nature.
You don't have to grow your own.
They are already there. You can forage
those and use them. And you can actually
take leaves home with you as well.
So, those are some of the ways to wipe
your butt for free. I listed 10 plus
a bonus 3, I think.
And one really important thing to say is
that of course whatever way you do this
you have to practice good hygiene.
Poop can transfer worms. It can transfer
bacteria that can make you very sick.
So it's very important to practice good
hygiene no matter what. Some people might
watch this video and just think that
I am talking about willy nilly pooping
all over the place or not washing your
hands after touching poop.
No. That's not what I'm talking about at all.
Every single thing that I've mentioned
can be done in a hygienic way
and a hygienic way that doesn't destroy
the earth that we live on because toilet
paper might seem hygienic, but is it
hygienic to chop down our forests, burn
fossil fuels and litter our interstates
and our highways and our roads with
trucks full of toilet paper?
Is that really hygienic?
When you look at the bigger picture,
no, it's not. It isolates the ability
for something to appear hygienic but
when you extrapolate it out to
the billions of people on earth it's not
hygienic at all. In fact, it is a
center piece to the destruction to the
world that we are causing.
So, those are some of my suggestions
for you. All of these, and links with
more information is at robgreenfield.org/toiletpaper
I have information about the plants that
I mentioned, about dumpster diving
for toilet paper, about the bum gun and
the bidet and all of that at robgreenfield.org/toiletpaper
Right now this is a very poignant time to
rethink things, to change things, and
a great way is to start with your toilet paper.
Something very near and dear to a lot of us.
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of this there is a lot more to come and
you can watch my previous videos.
There's a lot there, but subscribe.
So here's to you! Here's to thinking
outside of the box, thinking deeper,
and along the lines of today, not wiping
our butts with our money anymore.
I love you all very much and I'm wishing
you comfort and happiness and health
and strength to make it through these times.
And not just make it through these times
but to come out better human beings.
Alright, love you all. See you soon.
(Classical guitar music)
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