(screams)
- Lincoln.
- That's not a port, that's in the middle of the (beep).
- Where would we put it?
(uplifting mellow music)
- Yes! - Oh my God!
- We are about to label the map of Australia.
- We're gonna get a list of places
and we're going to have to guess where they are on this map.
- I'm not Australian FYI, so if I mess this up,
that's my excuse. - What are you trying to say?
Are you trying to make this my fault?
- Let's just name what we can and pass the complicated ones,
get it later. - Yeah, yeah.
- Come back, smash 'em out.
- Yeah, okay, cool.
- I'm really bad at geography, at any geography.
- We've got 10 minutes, right, I mean, what can...
(laughter)
what can you do in 10 minutes.
- I feel like it's gonna be pretty easy.
I know most of the places.
- I don't like losing, so.
- Yeah, yeah. - Let's do this.
- FYI, both of us are quite blind
and we're trying to read these words.
- In 10 minutes. - About a meter away.
- Okay, I think we need a game plan.
- We'll just like squint in and out.
- If you know one, then like turn and--
- That could be our excuse, that could be our tactic.
- Yeah, that's it. - We didn't see it.
- Three.
- Two.
- One.
- [Producer] Go!
- Sydney.
- Okay.
- Here?
- Yeah, like there.
- Easy, bam!
Right, yeah.
- Melbourne. - Melbourne.
- Here, right?
- Have you been to Melbourne?
- No.
Like hereish?
- Sure.
- Okay, we're doing it.
- Hobart. - Hobart, go, go.
- It's like there or there.
- Oh, Tasmania!
- Yeah, it's Tasmania, yeah.
- Let's just slap it here, boom, Hobart!
- Hobart, I have been there.
Like, here, I wanna say.
- Cool. - Hobart is so beautiful!
Oh my God, I went there with my family.
It's so lovely. - Oh, cute.
- Brisbane. - Brisbane.
- No, it's here, it's like--
- That's the Gold Coast and then Brisbane
and then the North, right?
- I think it's like hereish, I think it's here.
- Okay, okay, okay.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
- Brissy.
- Adelaide.
- Oh, I have been to Adelaide!
- Somewhere, why is this like, a triangle, is that right?
- This is wrong. - Is this the right map?
- This is a terrible map.
- I don't know, too! - When I don't know,
I'm just like pass it on to you, do it, do it!
- Okay, wait.
- There, there!
- Just do it, just do it, it's fine.
- Adelaide. - It's fine, it's fine.
Darwin, Darwin's like here. - Darwin, up at the top.
Some, like, here.
- Yeah, that's Darwin, that's fine.
- Just slap it on.
- It's kinda thereish.
- Yup, knew that, Darwin.
What's next? - Perth, that's on your side.
- Oh, yeah!
Can't I just like, do a big Perth somewhere, question mark.
- Yeah, it's like, here, that's Perth.
- That's Perth.
- What's next? - Canberra.
- That would, oh Jesus. - That's somewhere here.
- It's in New South Wales, right?
- Yeah, it is, yeah.
- Yeah, that's it, that's Canberra.
(imitates gunshot)
- Canberra.
- Okay, first of all, Australian Capital Territory
is a state, why is it not outlined on this map?
- Yeah, it's like a funny,
let's just draw it in, there we go.
- So rude, so rude. - Canberra.
- Anyway, next. - Okay, what else?
- Port Hedland, next.
- Yeah, no, no.
- Port Lincoln. - No.
- Tactical, tactical.
- Look, I know Port Macquarie is like, here, right?
- Let's move on, Lincoln, Port Lincoln.
- I've never heard of these places!
- Dampier.
- No.
- Fremantle, that's somewhere near Melbourne.
- Yeah, that's like hereish.
- Fremantle, is that wine, a wine region?
- Ev, I don't know. - Where's the wine?
Give us the wine!
- Port Douglas, oh, that's near Adelaide, right?
- Do you know it, I don't know where it is.
- I'm gonna say it's somewhere here.
This is Port Douglas.
- Easy.
- Broome is on the top. - Here, right?
- It's like up here.
- Broome. - Broome, that's like here.
- Oh, okay.
- Kununun, kun,
Kununurra?
- I'm just gonna put it somewhere random.
It could be anywhere, it could be anywhere, like--
- Put it anywhere, put it where you believe your heart
would tell you to go to Kununurra.
- I don't know, it's definitely not there.
- Is there anything in the middle?
- Not really.
- Geraldton. - Geraldton, that's like here.
- G town.
- Alice Springs is here, right?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Alice, Alice, we love you Alice.
- Albany.
- That's like a Victorian place, I think.
- Let's go, next.
- Ev, I want you to put it where your heart tells you.
- Carnarvon? - Yeah.
(mellow uplifting music)
How much time do we have?
- Carnarvon!
- Love that.
- [Producer] Seven minutes.
- Oh, okay.
Ev, I think we're doing good. - We're doing okay, all right.
- Katherine, that's easy, Katherine.
- Yeah, Katherine (laughs).
- Let's do the ones we know.
- Okay.
- Cairns, that's up here.
- Cairns is up here, yeah.
- It's on the coast.
- Okay, well I'm just gonna go across it
'cause that means like--
- Yeah.
- Pretty sure it's right here, it's like--
- Cairns. - Yeah, that's fine.
I used to be a travel agent.
- Newcastle.
- Newcastle, I know where that is!
- Oh yeah, yeah, easy, easy.
- There right, Newy?
- It's a little bit lower, it's like there.
- Newy, with a Y, yeah.
- Townsville.
- Mackay. - Mackay.
- Couldn't tell you where that is.
- Gold Coast, we can, we can, we can.
- Here, right, just here.
- Goldie. - It's over here.
- Yeah, have you been there?
- Of course I've been, I feel like everyone's been
to the Gold Coast. - Tell us your worst
Gold Coast story.
- Look, I only went on family holidays
and not like, you and your wild people,
it's just a good old wholesome time.
- Oh, beautiful, where is it?
(laughter)
- Good question, it would be like, I reckon, like here.
- Oh.
- And then maybe like, I reckon,
like Byron would be around there, right?
- Should we just add that one in?
- It is even there?
- Do we get bonus points for adding places we do know?
(laughter)
Byron Bay, no, Byron Bay's New South Wales.
- Yeah it's like, in this range.
- Wagga Wagga, this is easy,
it's somewhere in the central west.
- I love the name, Wagga Wagga.
- Wagga Wagga.
- Wagga. - Five minutes.
- Five minutes?
(car horn blares)
- Kalgoorlie.
- It's just not east coast, that's all I know.
- Wollongong!
- It's here. - Yeah.
- Coffs Harbour.
- That's somewhere near Newcastle, right?
- Yeah, that's on the way up to the Gold Coast.
- But, I've been to the--
- Yeah, yeah, no, you're right.
- The Big Banana.
- Yup, yup, yup, I hope your right.
- We stopped off there, beautiful memories.
This is all just coming back.
- That's Launceston.
- Over here, I've been there too, I have done a little bit.
- Queenstown? - Queenstown.
- Queenstown. - Queenstown.
Okay that is a troll, that's not in Australia.
That's in New Zealand.
- Oh hey, Tom, you're clever!
That's New Zealand.
- Yeah.
(laughter)
- Is that trick question?
- I don't know.
Let's just slap on the rest of them anywhere 'cause I don't,
I think that's all the ones we know right?
- Ballarat. - (grunts) Ballarat.
- That's rural Victoria.
- Yes.
- Ballarat, is that, that's in Victoria.
- That's not Victoria, that's Victoria.
- Oh.
(laughter)
- Davenport, next .
- [Zotti] Geelong.
- That's just here.
- We don't have time for this (beep).
- [Producer] Two minutes.
(screams)
- Easy. - Port Hedland.
That head of the land.
- That's here, obviously.
- That's definitely there.
- Dampier.
- Oh, she's damp, she's running our day.
I'm gonna somewhere in Perth.
- Albany, Albany, where do you think Albany is?
Spin around, close your eyes, go!
(upbeat bouncy music)
- Yes! - Oh my God.
- Albany, Albany!
- Kununurra.
I'm just gonna say here.
- Oh my God, I need to travel Australia more,
this is so embarrassing.
- This is really bad.
- [Producer] 15 seconds!
(screams)
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Saduna, Kaduna?
- Kaduna.
- Kadina?
(car horn blares) (screams)
Go, write to your hearts content Hameda, go!
- Can, cana, carna, von?
- Cana, carnava, Carnarvon?
- Eight, seven. - Okay, let's just go here.
There's Carnarvon.
- Davenport is gonna be here.
- Broome, have we done Broome?
Fremantle, Gambier, Davenport, Lincoln, Port Hedland.
(screams)
Port
Lincoln.
That's not a port, that's the middle of the (beep).
- Where would we put it!
Where's the (beep) ports?
Port, Port--
- Grafton,
don't we know Grafton.
- [Producer] And stop!
- Okay. - All right.
- Pot, I just put pot.
- [Producer] That's it, done!
- (beep) we are so (beep) at geography!
I am so embarrassed, please don't ever show this to my mum.
- No, I think we did pretty good.
There may be few hundred like, kilometers away.
I feel like we got it pretty much--
- We got it pretty--
- Pretty much on the spot, yeah.
- When you worked as a travel agent,
which was your job right?
Where were you sending people?
- (laughs) For like one month, overseas!
- Overseas. - No Australian
travels within Australia, it's just a fact.
So, why would I know anything about this?
- Jaime Oliver's gonna be so proud of this meal.
- [Hameda] So proud, terminate meal.
- All in all, hold my head in shame.
(upbeat jazz music)
- [Producer] You guys got 12 out of 39.
(exclaims in excitement)
- Nice, that's worse that I thought we would get.
- I reckon we got five, six.
- Five, that's ambitious, I think we got like, two.
- [Producer] You got three.
(gasps)
- Oh my God, we got three!
I'm excited about that, which ones did we get right?
She's so upset.
- [Producer] Kalgoorlie.
- Yeah.
- [Producer] Is in Western Australia.
- Right, so this is somewhere here.
Only half a country off.
- Yeah, that's across the desert.
It's a tough one Kalgoorlie, everyone says that.
- Everyone.
- [Producer] Geraldton is where you put Perth, pretty much.
- Oh, we got it in the right state.
- Yeah.
- [Producer] Carnarvon is--
- Here?
- [Producer] Yeah.
- Oh my God, again, the state.
- We're getting the states right, look.
- Western Australia is like that person
you don't really know, but once you do get to know,
I bet they're great.
(laughter)
Our producer's from Western Australia.
- [Producer] Alice Springs is kinda where Kalgoorlie is.
- Damn, I've been there as well.
- [Producer] Launceston is across the other side
from where you put it.
(laughter)
(groan)
- Close enough.
- So Port Lincoln, so, it's here, it's not there.
- [Producer] That's where Port Douglas goes.
- Hey!
- No way!
- We got the ports correct.
- What's here?
There's a city there. - Davenport?
- Yeah, that's probably right, yeah.
- [Zotti] Another test, gotcha.
- [Producer] So the V, at the bottom of Victoria
at the top of it is Melbourne.
- Is that why it's called Victoria, then?
(laugh)
- Queenstown, is that right?
Or is there actually a Queenstown, Australia?
- [Producer] Just below Davenport in Tasmania.
- Really?
Carnarvon.
- [Producer] Yeah, that's in WA.
It's above on the coast.
- On the coast, which one?
(laughter)
- [Producer] Below where you put Broome.
- All right.
- [Producer] Canberra, you almost got right, Wagga Wagga--
- (beep) yes!
- [Producer] Sydney should be where Newcastle is.
- Oh, (beep).
- Oh my God, we don't even know where we live.
- That's what I just said.
I said I was scared that we're gonna get that.
It's like, come on, we got the general area right.
Get over it. - I'm sad.
- [Producer] Kununurra also is Western Australia
on the border of Northern Territory and WA.
- Okay, we can do it.
- [Producer] Yeah, Townsville is where you put Kununurra.
- Oh, yeah. - That was so gorgeous,
wasn't big enough.
- [Producer] Keep going down until I say stop.
Yep.
Port Hedland isn't there.
- Where is that?
- [Producer] That's in Western Australia
kind of above Dampier, on the coast, yep.
- I feel like we should know more about our country.
- I'm so sorry that you feel so bad about this
and I'm like, ah!
- Because I'm competitive, I wanted to win
and the boys got 12 and we go three.
- [Producer] Do you think you should know more?
- Yes. - Yes,
I need to go back to school.
- But we learned a lot today, and for everything we learned
I'm gonna remember forever.
(upbeat music)