Hey guys, it is Wednesdays with Chaseypoo.
And today we're talking about pride month and what we think about it.
This is the perfect time for us to talk about it, because pride just happened.
Now here's the thing. I'm actually recording this video like two weeks before this video, because I'm on a road trip.
When you're watching this I'm on a road trip.
And I will not be able to post any of my videos or make them or anything like that, so I pre-recorded everything.
So... pride is actually physically right now for me.
Ehm the trans march was on Sunday and I went.
And if I'm honest I feel like there were not as many people as last year.
And I feel like it was less like... what's that word when you think something is going to be great, but it's underestimating... under...
There's a word I'm looking for and I don't remember what it is.
But you people are... you people...are going to like comment it for sure.
Sorry I really need to pee. I'm like moving around.
Ehm but I... underwhelming? Yeah. I don't know. I just felt like it wasn't like as amazing as it was last year.
Last year I feel like we were like a group of people and like marching together.
And even though the chants last year were very political and I was like really uncomfortable with them.
I get it. We need to be political, but sometimes I feel like the...the chants are too political for me.
And they kind of scare me.
We have a lot of issues in Quebec with ehm like trans laws and shit like that.
And it's bad and I feel like... I have a lot of anxiety in groups of people who are queer or trans.
I have a lot of anxiety in a group of people anyways.
'Cause I always feel like we're an easy target. We can get shot.
This is my anxiety, okay? This is what I live with every fucking day.
Ehm and I always think about this and it's scary and I don't want to think about this.
But ehm I feel like the chants that we were saying this year were like... I don't know.
Not provokable, but like it was scary and I'm like: "Too many things are happening right now."
I don't like when men use their voices that are like very deep. It scares me a lot.
Even if you're like on my side. I don't care. I don't like it. It scares me.
Ehm so there was this person behind me, this guy, 'cause I was looking.
And he was like an ally with a bunch of his friends and stuff like that.
Ehm and he started chanting... things and ehm his friends around him, eh transmen, transwomen, non-binary whatever...
... started chanting with him and it like started to like scare me a lot.
And they were on our side. And they were marching with us.
But they kept saying things like: "This is a march, not a parade," and stuff like that.
And then other things about like protests.
And I'm just... I don't know. People were looking at us and I'm just really anxiety.
I'm really scared of everything and it just scared me.
And sometimes I just feel like we should be proud and we should fight for what we want.
But sometimes we do it too aggressively and I feel like people don't take us seriously.
And I'm not doing that whole thing where 'we should take people who are passable'.
Eww I hate that word!
And like put them to the forefront and make sure that only people see them.
Just like in the past when they were like... sorry Minou is trying to get into a box.
When they were like: "Let's put the good gays out into the public, so people will know what gays look like and like them."
And like like them and like: "It will give gays a good face."
I'm not saying that that's what we need to be doing.
We definitely need to be fighting.
But I am saying that we, all of us, should be fighting.
And not toning it down, but really like...
Man, like somebody threw a fucking piece of paper to the Quebec...
It's like the Quebec president... prime... premier... whatever.
In America you wouldn't... it's like the governor of like Tennessee or something, right?
Like that's the big guy. It's kind of like that.
But somebody threw a piece of paper at him.
And the person is trans and I'm like: "Why would you do that, man?"
It was during the Orlando vigil, like what are you doing?
It was just a bit much for me and it's not what pride stands for.
We need to fight for our rights 1000 percent, but we also need to have a day where we feel safe.
And I don't feel safe in those spaces, even though it's with my own people.
And I don't like that. I want to be able to celebrate and then I want to be able to march.
And then I want to be able to fight for our rights.
But I would also like a day where we can talk about: "Look, all the struggles that we've been through...
... look how far we are right now." And I want to celebrate that.
And it sucks, because gay pride is all about gay and like white fucking cis men.
And it's really annoying and I don't like pride like that anymore.
I don't even go to Toronto pride anymore. Ehm it's too many people.
I think I just developed like a lot of social anxiety around big groups.
Because so many bad things have happened in the last like four years in groups.
Like a lot of shootings... mass shootings have happened, especially in the United States.
Mostly in the States and it just terrifies me that I'm going to be in one of those groups one day...
... that's going to be shot. And it's just such a big fear of mine.
And it's like an irrational fear, because... really, Minou? Fucking disturbing my fucking video.
Anyways that video is depressing. I'm sorry.
I just want to be able to celebrate, okay? And yeah the politicalness absolutely is in there.
I am in this for sure. But I just want one day when we're like just celebrating it.
Instead of just like focusing so much on the negative that happens to us.
Which we absolutely should, even during pride.
Talk about the shit that happens to us.
But can we for one day just enjoy the company of other trans people?
I don't know, maybe I'm just being really biased because I have a lot of anxiety being in a lot of groups.
And I don't like when people yell.
Ehm and like even talking about it right now I actually have a lot of anxiety.
So I'm going to end this video and like go drink some water and pee...
... before I like start to hyperventilate and have a panic attack.
Ehm but I don't know. I feel like this video was all over the place.
What do you think about pride?
I feel like if you watched my old videos about pride you'd be like: "Oh my god, Chase loves pride!"
What the fuck happened to Chase?! Jesus Christ!
I don't know. Have a great week! Love you, bye!