Hello... Oh, my God, that is your entire back.
Yep. Just casually 30% naked.
Can you come zip me up?
Yeah.
This whole fake relationship thing isn't bringing up
any... real feelings for you... is it?
Nah. No. Why, what about you?
Did my kiss unlock some dark, secret yearning lying dormant
at the bottom of your heart?
No. Of the eight times we've kissed,
I'd rank that one... seventh.
- So, big launch party tonight. - Yeah.
You ready to act all lovey-dovey on my livestream?
I will be.
Um... Actually, can you... My mom normally...
Yeah.
Okay, mm, this goes through here.
Tight, and then here, and...
Wow, I did not know I knew how to do this.
My Avril Lavigne phase really paid off.
Oh, s-sorry to interrupt.
No, you're not interrupting.
I think you might wanna get to the party.
It looks a bit... somber.
Somber?
[organ music playing]
Who died?
Apparently you.
Then what's in the coffin?
Bones.
Ooh, bones for dogs to chew on, but still, not great.
Ah? So? Is this serious enough for you?
[scoffs] Yeah, you really got the message across.
That my app is dead on arrival.
Before you judge, have you seen the soft cheeses?
It's everything you wanted.
Chic dress code, focus on you, boring as hell.
Spencer, look around you.
What sad event does this remind you of?
[organ music playing]
Oh.
Yep, yep, yep. We threw a funeral.
I gotta go see if I can salvage this.
Spencer, can you please, just...
I don't know, brighten the place up a bit?
I'm on it!
Hi, I was told to brighten things up.
Ha, ha. Can I have either of your phone numbers?
Wow. You guys look amazing.
Thank you. Based on Spencer's description,
I figured we should dress, for a funeral
that he didn't know he was throwing.
Mm.
No, no, no, it's a cake for eating.
I don't want anyone to pop out of it.
Well, let her out.
Is there anything I can do to help?
I need this party to be fun.
I have access to a lot of animal drugs.
Oh, I am joking about that. I've never done weed.
No one cool has.
I should've planned this party myself.
I was too focused on iCarly.
Of course you were. I mean, Carly's your girlfriend, so...
Oh, no, no. Carly's not my girlfriend.
That's just for the channel. I'm single. Very single.
Not in an undateable way. Just a regular... very single.
Oh. Neat. I mean, whatever.
But I mean neat. I think it's neat.
You do?
Buddy, you gotta pick up the pace.
[organ music playing]
Nope.
[playing "Charge"]
This party looks like a home run to me!
Hey, everyone, coming to you live
from my love's launch party. The Kevin app is
the cutting edge of animal therapy.
It really is. I downloaded it ten minutes ago
and now I don't feel bad about my passive role
in climate change.
Look. I had my grandmother's ring sized for Carly.
Just in case.
How'd you know Carly's ring size?
What? [giggling]
Are you accusing me of breaking in last night
while Carly was asleep, measuring her finger,
then singing a few bars of "Landslide"
just to ensure pleasant dreams?
[chuckles] Harper, you are so silly.
Now, where is the hubby-to-be?
Let's go find him.
Freddie, my little stinker,
your mom did something very sweet
and expensive and a dot illegal.
Come check it out.
[screaming] [gasping]
[playing chord loudly]
I should have warned you,
that kind of sexual charisma can not be contained.
My little Burt Reynolds.
[organ playing]
[music playing]
I know what you have to do. Dump me.
I'm a dirty, rotten cheater. You gotta cut me loose.
No, I can't let you take the fall for this.
This is your launch party.
Don't you see? This is the answer to your problem,
people love a woman scorned.
Okay. Thanks, Freddie.
And also... I'm sorry.
For what?
This. [slapping]
Who was that for?
[music playing]