Even schools are different nowadays.
They taking stuff out of school
we used to love back in the day.
Ya'll remember dodge ball?
(audience cheers)
Do you remember dodge ball, baby?
(audience cheers)
I'm trying to tell you,
what was the best part
about dodge ball?
Taking somebody's head off!
(audience laughing)
You got hit in the head with the ball,
what'd you learn how to do next time?
- [Crowd] Dodge the ball.
- Duck, it's called life,
sometimes it hurts,
you understand me?
They still got dodge ball
but they use the foam balls.
That ain't no dodge ball,
that is foam ball.
You get hit in the head with a
Foam ball. Don't nothing happen,
you understand me?
Dodge ball is that red rubber ball,
you hear me?
You remember that red rubber
ball, baby, come on now.
(audience cheers)
Trying to tell you put Wilson across
somebody's forehead,
that was extra points.
I'm trying to tell you, man just.
My son came home from school.
He 'bout eight, seven,
eight, nine years old.
He came home from school
seething, he was so mad.
He was on the verge of tears.
And my son never cried.
I'm trying to tell you he was not a crier.
Even as a baby, he wasn't a crier.
Me and his mother,
when he was a little baby,
we used to have to pinch him
to make him cry.
He wouldn't cry.
Wouldn't make no noise, right?
But we had him in, you know,
I had him playing football.
He's seven years old.
He littlest kid on the team.
Right, his pads was,
I put his pads on him.
He was so little.
I'm like, I don't know, little man.
I don't know.
(audience laughing)
I'm trying to tell you, I'm telling you,
he was so little,
his knee pads was around his shin.
Y'all understand me, right?
So I'm like, I don't know, right.
So, he went to practice,
but I couldn't go
'cause I had to come out
and go to work.
So I called to ask his mother.
I'm like, how did he do?
How did he do?
She like, "Oh, he took to it
"like a duck to water."
I'm like, really? Right?
I couldn't wait to get home.
When I got home, right,
and I saw my little boy, right?
And we took him to practice.
And now he's in the pads.
And I saw my little boy, right.
He the littlest kid on the team
and I saw him hit.
When I saw him hit.
I'm like, ooh, we going to be rich.
Yes!
(audience laughing)
Yes, right. Never cried.
So, when he came home from school
on the verge of tears,
I knew something was wrong.
He like, (sobbing)
I said, what's wrong, man?
What you crying for?
What's wrong with you
breathing so hard for, huh?
What's wrong? He like,
"This little boy, daddy,
"this little boy, daddy,
"he keep picking on me
"all the time, daddy.
"He pick on me all the time."
I said, did you tell the teacher?
"I told the teacher, daddy."
I said, what the teacher said?
"The teacher didn't do nothing, daddy
"She didn't do nothing."
I said, son, you need to
handle that little boy.
Right? He's like, "I can't."
I'm like, what you mean, you can't?
He like, "There's a zero tolerance
"for fighting in school."
I said, what?
(audience laughing)
He said, "There's a zero
"tolerance for fighting in school."
I'm like, but son, you told the teacher.
The teacher didn't do anything.
What you're supposed to do?
He says, "Daddy,
"there's a zero tolerance."
I said, Son, what if the little boy
is not following the
zero tolerance rules, son
come up to you, pow!
Hits you in your face.
Tell daddy what you
going to do about it?
He says, "Daddy,
"there's a zero tolerance."
I said, let me tell you something, son,
the school has its rules
and daddy has his rules.
You understand me?
And daddy's rules beats
school rules every time,
you hear me?
I said, let me tell you something.
Don't you start nothing
with nobody at that school.
You hear me?
But the minute somebody
put their hands on you, son,
you go straight to work,
you understand me?
Beat the breaks off of 'em,
that's what you do.
You understand me?
And don't worry about it.
I'm gonna come up
to the school and I'm gonna talk
to the principal and
I'm gonna have your back.
And I'm gonna tell the principal,
I told my son not to start nothing
with nobody in this school,
but if anybody put their hands on him,
for him to go straight to work.
Now what he taught that kid
is not to bother him.
He'll bother everybody else
in the school
but he won't be bothering him.
And I know my son is suspended
and while he's suspended,
I'm taking him to Six Flags.
Come on son, let's go.
(audience cheers)