( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE BACK WITH OUR FRIEND AMY SCHUMER.
NOW, YOU HAVE BEEN TRAVELING AROUND THE WORLD LIKE THE BIG
OLTJETSETTER THAT YOUURE.
>> YOU KNOW ME WE HAD SOME TIME FOR SOME FUN.
>> Stephen: THIS IS YOU AND YOUR SISTER, KIM, AT THE HARRY
POTTER TOUR AT WARNER BROTHERS STUDIO.
ARE YOU A BIG HARRY POTTER FAN?
>> I LIKE THE MOVIES.
IT'S REALLY HARD TO READ, YOU KNOW-- ANOTHER PAGE.
YOU KNOW?
WHO HAS ITS TIME.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE THICK.
>> BUT, KIM-- I GOT TO SEE MY SISTER HAVE THE BEST DAY OF HER
LIFE.
>> Stephen: SHE'S A BIG FAN.
>> SHE'S A HUGE, HUGE FAN.
SHE'S MARRIED SOTHAT MEANS HER WEDDING DAY-- EH.
HARRY POTTER-- YOU CAN GO AND TOUR THE SETS.
WARNER BROTHERS YOU CAN SEE WHERE THEY SHOT IT.
>> Stephen: LIKE HOGWARTS AND THAT KIND OF STUFF.
>> YES, AND IT WAS AMAZING.
EVEN FOR SOMETHING WHO WASN'T CRAZY INTO THE BOOKS IT WAS
REALLY AMAZING.
AND WE GOT A V.I.P. THING, BECAUSE I'M VERY FAMOUS.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: YES, YOU'RE WORTH PROTESTING.
>> EXACTLY, THANK YOU.
FOR, LIKE, LITERALLY ONLY $100 EXTRA, YOU'RE ALLOWED TO JUST
STRAIGHT UP (BLEEP) DANIEL RADCLIFFE.
>> Stephen: WOW, WOW.
>> HUNDRED.
NOZZ POUNDS.
>> Stephen: A C-NOTE.
>> ON YOUR TERMS, TOO.
>.>> Stephen: I WISH HE PUT IT IN THE BANK.
I FEEL BAD FOR HIM.
THAT'S A LOVELY THOUGHT.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SPEAKING OF LOVELY
THOUGHT.
IT'S ALL SHOW AND TELL HERE TONIGHT.
>> I LOVE ALL THE PICTURES TONIGHT.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING NICE-- MIND IF I SHOW
YOU THIS THING.
THIS IS YOUR ACTUAL LAWYER?
>> THIS IS MY REAL LAWYER, YES.
SO WHAT I DID-- HE'S, LIKE, A REALLY GOOD LAWYER.
HE'S A GOOD GUY -- >> Stephen: NOBODY IS SAYING
HE'S NOT.
>> I JUST FELT LIKE, "SURE, SCHUMER, FROM LONG ISLAND, YOU
HAVE A GREAT LAWYER."
BUT, BUT-- AND HE'S VERY SHY AND SERIOUS --
>> Stephen: AN ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER.
>> AN ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER, BUT HE'S LIKE, "NO ONE LOOK AT ME."
IT TURNS OUT YOU'RE ALLOWED TO-- I BOUGHT HIM FOUR BENCHES AS IF
HE WAS A PERSONAL INJURY ATTORNEY.
( LAUGHTER ) OKAY, SHOW IT.
THIS IS HIM-- AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "HEY, CAN YOU GO LOOK AT
THE CORNER OF WHATEVER?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: "HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED?"
"HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED?
WELL, I'M SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU.
I'M HERE IF YOU WANT TO TALK OR YOU NEED ANYTHING.
LET'S GET THIS DUNZ."
>> HIS NAME IS ISAAC DUNHAM.
HE SAID, "THIS IS ON MY WAY TO WORK."
I SAID, "I KNOW, I BOUGHT YOU FOUR BENCHES ON THE WAY TO
WORK."
WE HAVE TO KEEP OURSELVES ENTERTAINED.
>> Stephen: ANY SPAN. SPANISH?
>> NO DOUBT.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE THE NEW MOVIE "SNATCHED" WITH THE LOVELY
AND TALENTED GOLDIE HAWN.
SHE HASN'T DONE A MOVIE IN-- >> 15.
>> Stephen: 15 YEARS.
SHE PLAYS YOUR MOM WE HAD CHRIS PRATT HERE YESTERDAY--
>> OH, MY GOSH, LET ME SNIFF THE SEAT.
>> Stephen: NO, AFRAID NOT, CBS.
AND KURT RUSSELL PLAYED HIS DAD.
YOU WERE LIKE MOVIE BROTHER AND SISTER.
>> THAT'S WHAT I KEEP TEXTING HIM.
I'M LIKE, "HEY!
LET'S HANG OUT, BRO!" >> Stephen: HOW DID YOU GET
THIS NICE LADY WHO HAS BEEN, LIKE, JUST ENJOYING HERSELF FOR
14 YEARS TO STEP BACK IN ON TO A MOVIE SET?
BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SINCE 2002 OR '03 OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT SINCE
SHE DID A MOVIE.
HOW DID YOU GET HER?
>> I GAVE HER $100.
>> Stephen: AND DANIEL RADCLIFFE.
>> AND DANIEL RADCLIFFE.
NO, I APPROACHED HER ON AN AIRPLANE-- SHE HAD NO IDEA WHO I
WAS.
SHE'S SO NICE TO EVERYONE.
SHE'S TRULY THE KINDEST PERSON.
AND SHE'S LIKE,"OKAY, HONEY."
AND I SAID, "I WANT TO BE IN A MOVIE WITH YOU."
AND SHE'S LIKE, "SURE, YOU DO."
( LAUGHTER ) BUT THEN IT HAPPENED.
AND SHE WROTE THE SCRIPT AND WE JUST LOVED EACH OTHER RIGHT
AWAY.
KATIE DIPOLD WROTE THE SCRIPT, AND MY SISTER AND I REWROTE IT
AND PICTURING GOLDIE THE WHOLE TIME.
GOLDIE WROTE THE SECRET TOO.
AND WE HAD THE BEST TIME.
PEOPLE WERE WORRIED ABOUT HER.
>> Stephen: WHY?
>> BECAUSE SHE'S IN HER 70s AND IT'S AN ACTION MOVIE.
BUT SHE'S, LIKE, DOING HANDSTANDS ON SET.
AND-- SERIOUSLY.
AND THEN I'M, LIKE, SWEATING SO MUCH IN BETWEEN EACH TAKE, IT'S
LIKE, "10-MINUTE RESET ON SCHUMER."
AND YEAH.
IT WAS-- SHE WAS TOTALLY FINE THE WHOLE TIME.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU BEST FRIENDS NOW?
>> YEAH!
>> Stephen: YOU CAN SAY YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH GOLDIE HAWN?
>> I CAN SAY WE'RE, LIKE, LIFE FRIENDS.
>> Stephen: YEAH?
>> YEAH, SHE'S THE REAL DEAL.
>> Stephen: I HEARD YOU SAY THAT YOU CAN'T MAKE-- YOU ONLY
MADE, LIKE, FIVE FRIENDS IN 15 YEARS.
SO IT'S A VERY HIGH BAR TO GET INTO THE AMY SCHUMER FRIEND
CLUB.
>> CORRECT.
>> Stephen: WHY, DO YOU NOT LIKE PEOPLE?
( LAUGHTER ).
>> WELL, I MEAN, YOU'RE OKAY.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT...
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WERE YOU BULLIED
AT ALL AS A CHILD?
>> YEAH.
I HAD CURLY BANGS -- >> Stephen: HOW COULD YOU HAVE
CURLY BANGS?
>> IT WAS VERY SIMPLE.
MY MOM TOLD ME THEY LOOKED GREAT, AND I BOUGHT IT.
AND, YEAH, NO.
( LAUGHTER ) I WAS-- I WAS A LATE BLOOMER.
TEETH-- MY FRONT TEETH FELL OUT WHEN I WAS 11.
>> Stephen: IN MIDDLE SCHOOL.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR FRONT TEETH?
>> GOING INTO MIDDLE SCHOOL, I DID NOT HAVE MY FRONT TEETH.
( LAUGHTER ) HI "13 REASONS WHY."
KIDS ARE MEAN.
>> Stephen: NO-- >> THANK GOD THERE WAS NO SOCIAL
MEDIA THEN, THANK GOD!
>> Stephen: WELL, "SNATCHED" IS IN THEATERS MAY 12.
THE LOVE LADY WITH ALL THE