Good morning, Hank, it's Tuesday. It's Question Tuesday, the day that I answer FIFTY real snapchats from real snapchatters.
Let's get right to it.
"Favorite thing about Indianapolis?" Race day!
"Favorite TV show?" The Americans, not just the best show about spies on TV, also the best show about marriage on TV.
"How are the puff levels?" A little too high, actually, hold on. Yeah, that's better.
"Any great movies to recommend?" I really love both 'Dope', and 'The End of the Tour'.
"Why do you love writing?" For me, it's like the number one way of escaping the prison of my consciousness.
"Biggest lesson from the refugee camps?" I'd never really considered the horror of dislocation, like, it's one thing to
experience trauma inside your community, and in a social structure you understand.
But it's totally different to experience loss in a place that isn't yours, surrounded by people you don't know.
"Where do you see yourself in ten years?" I don't know, but I know what I wanna be doing on Tuesdays.
"Favorite YA debut of 2016?" It hasn't come out yet, but 'Spontaneous' is the best book about spontaneous combustion you will ever read.
"Hints about your new book?" Uh, it concerns the White River.
"When's it gonna come out?" I dunno, not this year.
"What do you think of Hamilton?" It's just so astonishingly good, it's so nuanced, and rich, and the songs are so catchy!
"Favorite Hamilton song?" That's like asking me to pick between my kids, but I am pretty fond of the cabinet meeting rap battles.
"Can you name a character in your new book Avery?" No! I can't just, like, choose- actually, y'know, I kinda like that name. Maybe.
"How many Katherines qualifies as an abundance?" Mmm, nineteen, possibly eighteen.
What was your childhood best friend's name?" Yeah, no, that adorable puppy filter is not going to trick me,
person-who-is-clearly-trying-to-learn-the-answer-to-my-security-questions.
"What was your dream job as a kid?" Earthworm scientist.
"How would you get away with murder?" Well, given that 40% of murders in Indianapolis go unsolved, it's apparently not that difficult.
"Favorite piece of furniture?" This La-Z-Boy, in which I've written at least part of all my books,
and which was described by The New Yorker as, quote, "grubby," and, quote, "oatmeal-colored,"
and by The Wall Street Journal as, quote, "tan." That's right, my La-Z-Boy's been covered by some of America's finest periodicals,
and yet, does La-Z-Boy send me recliners for free? No they don't.
"Should I read 'The Fountainhead'?" But there are so many GOOD books.
"What's your opinion on sporks?" I guess I just feel like they're not very good at two things.
"Honest opinion on Donald Trump?" I'm reminded of something Cyrus Ching once said: "Never wrestle with a pig. You get filthy, and besides, the pig likes it."
"What's you favorite reading position?" This.
"Do you write with music or in silence?" Usually silence, occasionally The Mountain Goats.
"Band you most listen to?" Definitely The Mountain Goats, followed by Hank Green and the Perfect Strangers.
"Favorite Hank song?" Strange Charm.
"Who the eff is Hank?" Hank is a young adult novel published in 2005. Unfortunately, I have no control over the movie rights to Hank.
"Any news on the Looking For Alaska movie?" Sadly, no.
"Thoughts on Dr. Who?" I am very excited for the new spinoff series written by my friend Patrick Ness.
"Have you ever shaved your head?" Yeah, in high school I shaved my head, and then when it started to grow back,
I dyed my hair fuchsia-plum, but I had a really bad reaction to the hair dye. So I ended up
with a lot of fuchsia-plum dandruff. Oh, and I was so stressed out about my fuchsia-plum dandruff.
I'm so glad I'm not in high school anymore.
"What is this?" I believe that's a sloth, who, having eaten too much oversized lollipop, is now barfing a rainbow.
"How do I survive reading 'Macbeth'?" I think you have a much better chance of surviving it than Macbeth does.
"Favorite tree?" I guess former Orlando Magic player Tree Rollins.
"Favourite season?" Oh, definitely Season Kent, the music supervisor for the The Fault In Our Stars and Paper Towns movies.
"Favourite dad joke?" I'm pretty fond of the ones I just told.
"Are you making a cooking channel?" Maybe!
"Monopoly or Scrabble?" Scrabble.
"How's Willy?" He's so good! Willy, say 'hi'. He can't, he can't talk.
"We're newlyweds! How do we build a strong marriage?" My parents gave us two words of advice that have been very helpful: 'mutual generosity'.
"Can you speak Spanish?" No. Well, except I guess I just did.
"If you could speak any language, what would it be?" Probably Spanish.
"Did you have braces?" Yes, for three years.
"Coke or Pepsi?" Diet Dr. Pepper.
"Dinosaurs or dragons?" Dinos.
"Favorite infinity?" Real numbers.
"Is there gonna be more CrashCourse with you?" Yes, more literature this summer, we're reading all these books.
"What are you reading right now?" This, it's so good!
"Feelings on socks?" I love them!
"How excited are you for VidCon?" Very, less than ninety days to go.
"Llamas or alpacas?" Llamas.
"What's your Starbucks order?" Uh, can I just have, like a, like a regular, just a large regular coffee? Just, just, black coffee? Thank you.
Fifty questions in four minutes! Hank, I'll see you on Friday.