- Merry Spookmas.
Why is this so hard to close?
(jaws snap) Oh my God.
Rah.
Go back there, Tommy.
I don't want to sell that to the museum for 10,000 bills.
Anyway, some of my most disturbing videos
of the last two years have been my Wish videos.
Wish, the website that sends you super weird adverts,
and you never know what you're going to get,
where you get something amazing
or something that sets your house on fire.
The mysteries are endless.
Example A.
(heavy breathing)
So as a Halloween special, I went on Wish
and searched the word "spooky" and got myself
some of the things that were recommended to me first.
And even though Halloween's not really the same this year,
I can keep all this stuff for future Halloween parties
when the apocalypse is over.
(spooky music)
So this was the first thing that was recommended to me.
(laughs)
It's actually quite disturbing.
I feel like this is an alternate universe Christmas dinner,
where the turkeys are eating the people.
(in funny voice) You want some gravy, Matilda?
Not to be a cannibal,
but (laughs) I shouldn't start any sentences like that.
But I feel like we taste pretty good.
Mm, salty.
I didn't get that, I don't think. Did I get that?
I think I got something skeleton,
but maybe I chose a different one.
This made me laugh because you're sending
some mixed messages from this window.
Do you want help or do you want people not to enter?
You can't have both, Susan.
You need to pick.
I didn't get that because I thought
my neighbors would call the police.
Next. Oh my God.
Yeah, I forgot about this.
(laughs) You're going to have to censor his crotch.
What the frick is going on here? (laughs)
Thor's hammer, zapping the peen.
Is this Infinity War 2?
Is that what's in Thanos' pants?
Why is it in the spooky section?
I'm certainly not going to put 26 magnets anywhere
near my crotch.
Sorry.
The second spooky thing was
just this computer-generated image of a skeleton.
So I don't know why.
I don't know why I'm going to get for this, but I'm excited.
Not sure I trust a Wish tattoo on my body,
but I might do it, for the science.
I like this, and I wanted to give myself
some disco skeleton vibes, so added to my basket.
Then we got a whole lot of not-scary stuff.
(laughs) Really?
Just a bunch of people unzipping it to have a chat.
I'm sure COVID just ignores that little hole
next to the zip as well.
Yeah, that's great.
Very spooky, for all the wrong reasons.
What's happening to her nose?
What's she sucking off it?
No subtlety with this knockoff Pennywise.
He's like, "Yep, I eat children. What of it?
Wear the t-shirt."
(trombone low note)
(laughs) I must've ordered one of these.
I actually don't know which one I chose.
That'll be an exciting mystery when I open the packages.
(laughs)
Moving mouth dog mascoot, mascoot?
Mascot costume fursuit mask.
I'm finally going to become a furry and live the dream.
It's been so long since I ordered this,
I've probably forgotten half of it.
So prepare for some surprises, as well.
Before we delve into Wish, if you missed out on any
of my new merch, we've had a restock
of the pumpkin spice candles and also the long sleeves.
I think this will be the last restock.
So if you want to grab any, they're good for all year round,
not just for Halloween.
You can go to amazingphilshop.com.
Right. Let's get opening.
(spooky music)
What is this?
A bag within a bag?
Ooh, multiple things.
What the frick?
I think I went a bit overboard on this one, lads.
All right. Let's start on a small one.
What we got here? Ooh, it's the tattoos.
Am I going to give myself a Wish tattoo? (chuckles)
I think it's happening. Right.
Let's get the most spooky one and put it on my body.
That could be good on my face.
Don't want to know what's going on there.
Spooky hands.
That's a sexy demon. (moans like a ghost)
Eat me. Senpai?
That's a good one. I'm going to go with a good old scratch.
Normally with these you just wet it, don't you?
Got my drink.
(gentle string music)
Oh, oh, it's cold!
I've got someone coming to fix the washing machine tomorrow.
So I'm hoping this washes off by then.
Or they'll just think I'm super cool.
Thankfully it's not burning my face,
so I think we're good.
Moment of truth.
(increasingly faster music)
(fanfare)
- That looks so good.
- This video is like 57% spookier now.
Well done, Wish. You've upped your game.
I thought that would just not work or burn my face off.
So, color me wrong.
We're going to go straight in with a strong four stars.
They send really short descriptions of what's in the bags.
And this one just says "coat."
I don't remember ordering a coat. What is this?
Oh, I forgot I got this.
It's a pumpkin suit.
This was like two pounds. Is this going to fit me?
I think it could. It's happening.
Got my frilly bits.
I can't really move my arms in it,
but it's actually pretty good.
I can finally actually become the pumpkin dance man.
(pumpkin dance)
Do you know one of the most Googled things about me is,
"Is Phil Lester the pumpkin dance man?"
That is not actually me, I'm sorry.
It was a joke.
The material is really cheap.
It's basically made out of paper.
I'm going to give it three stars.
This pumpkin is really failing me.
Hello? No, no!
It's the scary man face.
Oh, it looks like they've just sent someone's skin.
Hello, Clarice.
(swinging jazz music)
I'm going in.
Oh, I literally feel like I'm wearing someone's skin.
Wait, I need to do my hair.
The eyes are inverting into my own eyeballs.
Oh, why are the eye slits so small?
Hey, guys. Amazing Bill here.
It's been a while since I made a video.
I've missed you.
Oh, oh! I need to get it off!
I need to get it off now!
Oh, It's stuck. My head's too big.
(makes noises of disgust)
Minus three stars.
I think that's genuinely one of the most disturbing things
I've done on YouTube.
This is just described as "tools."
I'm quite scared, but also intrigued.
It's just a creepy picture of a little girl.
How is this "tools?"
(shouts)
(laughs)
Oh my God. No.
Look, look, at this.
So I was just like, "La la la. Why is this creepy?"
BOO! (laughs)
That's so good.
Holograms aren't usually that good.
Are these called holograms? I don't know, whatever.
I might just put this on the wall to freak people out.
Wish, you are knocking it out of the sack today.
The sack, the park.
I'm going to give it four stars.
Right? What are you?
I'm just gonna reach in the bag.
Oh, Oh, it's squishy. What, oh, it's a human tongue.
That looks quite real.
Why was this on the list of things I was like,
"Yep. Thanks Phil of the past."
Ooh, that is really gross.
Let me find my order for this,
'cause I do not remember the product page.
Oh, there it is!
I think they might have exaggerated the length
a little bit on that woman.
This is like the opposite of visual ASMR.
It's going to be like a prank, so you put it in your mouth.
I'm going to be honest, it stinks.
So I'm not going to put in my mouth.
I look like an emoji.
(rolls Rs)
And then you grab it and then you're like,
"Oh my God, what's happening to me? Linda!"
Or you could just do something kinky.
I don't know. It's gross, I don't like that I own it.
Two stars.
What is next in my spooky selection?
Hello? Oh, I was excited by this.
A wall-climbing spider.
Gravity-defying technology drives anywhere.
It's quite cute, actually.
It's not like a horrible tarantula.
All right, I found a switch on its ass.
Ooh! His eyes light up, did you see that?
Hello!
And then. (yells)
(motor whirs)
I guess that's, that is so loud.
I guess that's how it sticks to the wall.
Guys!
All right, here we go.
No!
This is like, incredible.
I can't believe it.
(spider crashes)
(shouts) Sorry.
Be free!
Is it actually gonna work on the ceiling?
Look at this!
Whoot! (laughs)
(spider crashes)
Oh, no.
(spooky music)
Well, that's officially the best thing
I've ever experienced, so that is nine stars out of five.
I don't think we're gonna top it in this video, guys.
What's this?
Oh, it's the creepy LED mask.
Feels very cheap, don't want to strap these electrics
to my face, going to do it.
That's quite scary-looking, anyway.
I'm not sure where you put the wire.
Like where are you going to hide this?
I guess you put it down your shirt or something.
You can't really tell it's on.
It's making a very high-pitched buzzing noise
next to my eye, which is scaring me.
Well, let's turn the lights off.
Ow.
That's cool.
You've got to be in a pretty dark room
to get the full effect, but I like it.
I'm going to give it a three and a half.
It's doing its thing. The buzzing is scaring me, though.
I just pressed it again.
Didn't know there's a dance mode!
(dance party music)
Gone up in my estimations, it's getting a four.
Definitely going to use that next Halloween.
♪ (to the tune of "What is Love?") What is spook? ♪
♪ Baby, don't spook me ♪
What is this?
Why is it wet?
Oh, it's the skeleton.
We got the skeleton.
It's a lot smaller than I thought it would be.
But it's high-quality, actually.
Maybe I could serve a roast dinner in this,
like the picture.
Oh, no.
(skull crashes)
(in slow motion) But it's high-quality, actually.
Rest in peace. Can I get that back on?
Oh, he is quite tall!
He's just got very long legs.
I'm going to give him a no, not five, a four.
Ooh. Oh, it's the, the best 'till last.
It's my fursuit, it's finally here.
He's got some very derpy eyes.
This mask doesn't stink inside,
but it looks very sinister in there.
What is that I'm about to put my face into?
Let's just do it. Woo.
Whoa. (howls)
Is this what it's like inside a fursuit?
It's kind of satisfying.
It says the mouth should open, though.
Oh, okay.
Hello.
Oh my God. That's so weird.
Yeah, it's pretty much impossible to open mouth.
Furries, if this is what it's like inside your suits,
then 10 points for dedication from me.
I respect you massively.
I'm going to give this a five.
Okay, the eyes have fully steamed up.
I can't see anything.
Could be a murderer in the room with me right now.
(creepy music)
(gasp) (scream)
(coughs) I just breathed in some fur.
Oh, oh, oh. It went in my mouth.
Oh, set me free.
Well this has been fun.
Hope you've had a fun spooky season.
If you didn't see, my channel now has its own emojis,
so if you want to use those in the comments,
you can click Join, become part of the Cactus Club.
You get a little cactus next to your name
and you get to see my community tab updates as well.
So thanks to anyone that does that.
If you didn't watch my last video,
I tried pumpkin spice with everything, which was a mistake.
So if you want to watch that,
I will put it here over the skeleton. Give it a click.
You can subscribe. Check out the merch, have a good life.
And I'll see you later. Good bye.