Hello Brains! Being an adult is hard. Which is probably why I decided never to be one.
[music intro]
Let's review: being an adult means having to do things you don't want to do. Adults have to be
responsible; plan; prioritize; organize; make smart decisions. Kids have all the time in
the world. No responsibilities. And they don't have to do anything unless somebody says so.
But the problem with never growing up is you never get to be what you wanted to be when you grow up.
I finally had to come to terms with the fact that I am an adult and what I used to think of
as being an adult is actually something called our "Executive Function System" at work.
It's responsible for everything that the Executive of a company would be responsible for.
Planning; prioritizing; organizing; making good decisions so that you can accomplish what it is
you set out to accomplish. The reason it's easy to associate these things with being an adult
is that when you're a kid your parents are your Executive Function System. They make all
your decisions for you. When you're an adult you've got to do it yourself. This can be
challenging for those of us with ADHD because the Executive Function System is in the
frontal lobe of our brain. The part affected by our ADHD. That's why we have trouble with time
management, planning, organizing. Staying focused on something long enough to
actually get it done. What this doesn't mean is that we can't get things done. Or that we
can't be successful. There are plenty of highly successful people with ADHD. What it does
mean is our Executive Function System could use a little help. And what does every
Executive need? A Secretary! Yeah, I can't afford a Secretary either. So, second best option:
A "Secretary"! Some sort of task management system, which is just what fancy Executives
call a "to-do" list. I personally used to hate the idea of to-do lists because they felt really bossy.
They get really overwhelming and after a while mine started to feel like the list of things
I didn't get done. Turns out I was using it wrong. It's there to help you but you're still the one
in charge. Think of it this way: if you're a CEO and you have a Secretary, you're the boss.
You let your Secretary know what you want to do. What to put on the schedule for today.
You set up or cancel whatever you want. Your Secretary is just there to help you keep track
of what needs to be done so that you can focus on thinking and creating and making good
decisions. Or bad decisions. Whatever you want. So, what kind of Secretary should you get?
When you're choosing a Secretary it can be tempting to get the craziest, fanciest one
you can Google. But I wouldn't recommend it. Your task management system shouldn't be more
complicated than you are. Otherwise it kind of defeats the purpose of making things easier.
It's best to choose something that works the way you do. If you love technology, yeah get
an app that links to all your devices. If you love the feel of pen and paper maybe that's a better
choice for you. Whatever kind of Secretary your brain prefers here's a list of basic qualifications:
Must be: "easily accessible". If you can't find your Secretary when you need your Secretary
that's not a good Secretary! "Easy to work with." If it takes too much time to explain to your
Secretary what needs to be done you'll decide it's easier to remember it yourself and then
probably forget. "Enjoyable to work with." If you don't like checking in with your Secretary
chances are you won't which means you won't be able to see what needs to be done.
If you've even told them at all. "Affordable." Expensive does not mean better. And the more expensive
Secretaries tend to be more high maintenance. "Fits your needs." If you really need to be
reminded when something is due you don't want a Secretary that just waits for you
to check in. Whatever you choose, remember: don't overload yourself. We tend to overestimate
how much we can accomplish in a day and this is not about you being perfect. This
is not about you getting everything done. The easiest way to get fed up with a to-do list
is to fill it up and then you won't use it at all. So go easy on yourself. That's it for this
week. I'd love to hear about your own experiences with your personal Secretaries. Which you've
hired, which you've fired, and which you would give letters of recommendation. I posted
a few I like in the links below as well. If you like what I do and you want to learn more
ADHD tips and tricks like my page on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, and subscribe.
Bye Brains!
Done.
Take the rest of the day off.
[music outro]