Things I do not wanna do include filming this video
Ok, hi guys! My name's Shannon and today we're gonna be talking about
my favorite subject in the whole entire world
My feelings!
Said me, never
Ok, so basically
I...have been feeling
a little sad
Feelings. Don't wanna talk about them
End of the video! That's it! That's all I got!
Ok, man. So yeah, ok
Can you tell I'm so uncomfortable talking about my feelings?
Basically, I watched a video that Felix made, from PewDiePie
and then the follow up video that Casey Neistat made responding to his video where they were talking about forced positivity from youtubers and like
all that jazz
If you haven't seen it you should watch it
But it's a pretty basic concept that I think that everyone has thought or were talked about before
which is just that a lot of times online people portray their best selves and so
When they sit down in front of the camera they just talk about the good stuff, or like they'll put on a happy face or they'll put on
this positive aura, energy, whatever
So I watched these videos and then I also tweeted something the other day, like a couple of weeks ago where I was like...
I basically said something along the lines of like "there's no shame in admitting that you're not doing ok"
And then I was like "wooah, I'm a hypocrite"
"A little bit", is what I was thinking
I've been kind of like in a funk, just...I've been a little funky
Basically, I don't ever want you guys to be watching my life or watching me
and looking up to me thinking like
"Oh, Shannon's life is just perfect and everything is fine all the time" and like
"Shannon's always happy"
Because that's an unfair standard to put on your life
I think it's easy for us to watch -me included- other people's lives through social media, even like friends and family
and think that everything is ok all the time for everyone
And that can kind of make you feel worse
Make your sad feelings sadder, right?
I think it's really just a part of being human to have highs and lows
and I think that it's ok to acknowledge when you're having a low
and I think you should be talking about stuff like that with your friends and your family
It's an ok thing, we all get a little sad sometimes, and that's like
I hate to put a stigma on it and encourage a stigma of not talking about mental health by not talking about my own mental health
You know it makes me feel a little bit vulnerable, and I don't feel that comfy talking about my feelings in general
Let alone with an audience of all of you
I've been sad before obviously in my life, I've had other lows
The only difference between that and what I'm feeling right now, which is why this one's been a little bit tricky and harder for me
is that every other time I've ever been sad I was sad because of something, you know?
Like something had happened
And it's the first time in my life that like... life's really good, like everything is really good
I have really good relationships in my life, my job is going well, like everything is really in a really good path
and I'm really happ- I'm so happy about that, obviously
But for some reason I'm having a little bit of inner sadness that's really frustrating to me, because I've only...
I've never been sad for nothing, I've never been sad for no reason
And I've heard other people say like "Oh, I'm sad"
and it's not attached to anything, and I know that's normal, and that...
Whenever anyone's ever told me that I'm like
"Yeah, that happens, that's normal"
But it's never happened to me and so
I am
just trying to figure that out and get myself out of this low because
It's just been...
It's just been going on for longer that I wanted to, so I'm like
"Stop! Please!"
I'm also looking to like find a therapist
Which i think it's also not something I should be embarrassed to say because that's good, and so
What's the point of this video?!
I don't- I'm not- This is not like a cry for help
I'm not posting this being like "Oh my god, feel sorry for me"
Please, don't feel sorry for me
I am fine, my life is good, like I have nothing to complain about, genuinely nothing
The point of this video is I just wanna like
If I'm on Twitter encouraging other people to say when they're not doing ok then it's not fair for me to
not hold myself to that same standard, I guess
I'm also doing other things, I'm not just looking for a therapist
I'm doing things that I know make me happy
And it's really hard when you're feeling sad to do anything sometimes
It's like, literally to do anything, it can be really hard just to wake up, right? To get up, it's like
I have been trying to do the things I know make me happy, like I'm going outside, I'm going on hikes, I'm taking pictures
I'm doing the things I know will make me happy and I'm like
To a degree, I'm kind of like forcing myself to do it because I'm like I don't wanna do anything but I do feel better after I do it
So, If you're also feeling this way, maybe you're going through a time- cause we all do
We all do
We all go through times, it's ok
It is ok to be sad
It is ok
If you're feeling that way too, get up and do things!
Do the things that you know make you happy even if it's really hard to get up and do them, do them
Cause it's making me feel better
I'm starting to feel better
I'm feeling good enough to sit down and make this video finally
Which I've been trying to make it and I haven't been able to make it because I was afraid that I would make it and then I'll probably cry
and I really don't wanna cry because it's not that big of a deal, everything is fine
But now I can make the video and I'm not crying
Feelings, eww, stop!
I love you guys so much, and you genuinely give my life purpose
and you're a big reason why I do get up everyday
and why I'm trying to do all these things, to make myself happy, like you guys are so encouraging
Even if you didn't know I was sad, you guys encourage me all the time
even when I'm happier, you encourage me all the time and I love you guys so much for that
And I'm not gonna cry
Stop
And if you're feeling this way I love you
and I hope that you feel that this video is my encouraging you back
Cause I want to be that for you guys the same way that you are for me
And I don't want you to be thinking like
"Oh my god, Shannon is so sad forever"
I'm not gonna be sad forever
Please, please, please, please, don't think that
I just wanted to make this video, I felt a call to make it
I don't know, maybe someone needed to hear it and...
This video is gonna be so bad
I couldn't even look at the camera
But I'm gonna post it
I'm gonna post it no matter what, so we'll watch it, and yeah
And then...yeah
I'm gonna try to link things in the description box below
Like outlets and things that you can do if you're feeling down or sad, like
Hotlines and ways to find a therapist and stuff
and I'm just gonna put all that down there, so if you need that, it's down there
And, uhm...yeah
That's all, ok, that's all, ok
I'm done
I'm sweating, my back's sweating
and that means I'm uncomfy!
Shannon Beveridge, queen of uncomfy 2k17
I love you guys so much, seriously