Bronson: We decided to take a trek in this snowstorm
to Bobolink Farm in New Jersey
right at the cusp of Pennsylvania.
How are you? We're good. Good.
We got a pot of curd that's waiting to be cut, though. Are you kidding me?
And curd does not wait for anybody, so...
-So shall we? -Let's go cut some curd.
Nina: We do 100% grass-fed, raw cows'-milk cheeses.
Jonathan: Now, at this point, the curds are pretty soft.
People say, "Oh, it looks like tofu."
It already tastes better than tofu.
I just don't believe in men consuming large amounts of soy.
He read in Muscular Development that it gives you bitch tits.
[ Laughs ]
Nina: We also do pastured meats,
100% grass-fed beef.
You cannot tip a sleeping cow 'cause they don't sleep.
We also do wood-fired breads made with grains
that are grown more thoughtfully.
Bronson: What are we even choosing?
Plain ciabatta, olive-onion ciabatta,
garlic duck fat ciabatta, cheese ciabatta.
One of each ciabattas for sure.
Nina: We are working to turn sunshine and rain
into the best food ever.
♪♪
I want to smash glass on my face right now
after hearing that story. [ Laughs ]
Are we ready to slush on over to the house?
Bronson: How far away?
It's just 100 feet.
Bronson: Or you could drive us to the house. All right.
We're about to smoke a fat blunt in here.
You want a smoke? I'm good. Thanks.
You got a good heart.
Well, you know, just call me Mom.
All right, Mama. You are the best mama.
♪♪
Bronson: This is gorgeous. Oh, it smells good in here.
Jonathan: We're having an all-vegan meal. Just kidding.
Hot stuff.
Oh, can't wait to eat.
You have a bunch of beautiful things here
like this fucking piece of salami right here
is so unbelievable.
Well, it grows in the salami forest.
-Who wants some cider? -[ Mouthful ] Me.
Anyway, cheers, guys. All: Cheers.
-To good food. -This is a beautiful experience.
Bronson: Is this just pasta in pasta?
Laetitia, tell me the name of this dish again.
Croziflette.
What's in it?
Mmm... -And it's also two pastas,
one made from buckwheat and one made from wheat.
This is really one of the best things I've had.
It's ridiculous. Are you gonna shit in your underwear?
Oh, no. Not here! No, no.
But they're self-cleaning.
[ Laughter ]
[Laughing] Okay. They rip off.
They fly away, and new ones come --
They just appear.
If you're still hungry, I also have kielbasa.
We had this bull named Mr. Socks
who turned out to be too lean for steaks
but not too lean for kielbasa.
And he has many, many children on the farm.
-Does he talk to them? -Not anymore.
Meyhem: Mr. Socks is no longer with us.
Sometimes I wish that I could go like a cow, you know?
Think I'm going somewhere good, and then, bam, gone.
Mmm. You know?
Where are you from? Meyhem: Southampton.
Southampton... Long Island?
England. England. England. Oh, okay.
Wales.
He's related to Geoffrey from "Fresh Prince."
Remember the butler, Geoffrey?
He has a new video out with DJ Muggs right now.
Uh-huh.
[ Laughs ]
Remember to leave room for the cheese course.
-Mmm. -What do you call that?
-Um... -Cheese.
Jonathan: We call it illegal underage cheese.
Where the fuck is Chris Hansen?
[ Laughs ]
Nina: Part of the problem is since he keeps inventing
these totally original types of cheese,
people are saying, "What kind of cheese is it?"
-Oh, my God. -That cheese is unheard of.
See, I don't like the smell, but I keep smelling it.
Sick.
I taste the goddamn cow, you know?
-Mm-hmm. -I taste him.
I taste him. Her.
Her. [ Laughter ]
If you got male-cow milk in there,
it's not gonna work out too well.
You don't get a lot, but it's really fast.
[ Laughter ] Oh, my gosh.
Jonathan is drunk.
He's gonna put holes in the wall when we leave.
[ Laughs ] Ah.
Bronson: You know, you guys eat so good. This is crazy.
People say, you know, "How do you have the time
to do everything you do?"
We don't watch TV. [ Laughs ]
That's good.
We only watch you. Really?
That makes me happy, guys. Hey, just lie to me.
Just fucking lie, please.
Sometimes silence is all that's necessary. Oh, yeah.