- So I love you.
(Kelly laughing)
While I was in quarantine with my parents,
and I wasn't able to do standup every night,
which is like, I didn't even realize
was a way I get my feelings out.
- 100%, yeah.
- It's like, even though
I'm maybe not talking about the feeling I'm having-
- It's your outlet though
- I could scream about whatever the joke is and get it out.
And then it was bubbling up, and I just, one day was like,
"I gotta get a karaoke machine."
And I just ordered one to my parents' house
and started singing karaoke.
I would get coffee, eat breakfast
and then go out and sing three songs
by myself in my parents' living room,
just to like get my feelings out
songs that would really- - [Kelly] Oh my god!
- Encapsulate how I was feeling.
So I was singing "Because of You" every day
because that song's about your dad.
- In your parents house (laughs).
(audience applauding)
- When I found out that song was about...
'Cause I remember being obsessed with that song
in a way that was like,
"Why does this hit me in a different?"
'Cause I always thought it was about a guy
like a romantic song. - No.
- And then I was like,
"I gotta find out what this song was about."
And I looked into it and I was like,
"That's why, it's about your dad."
- And that's why you're- - That's it, yes.
- It's your therapist (indistinct).
- I was belting that out.
I did a lot of "A Moment Like This."
But I did the version of you winning on "American Idol"
that I've always-
- So you're crying through it?
- Yeah, 'cause I just needed to cry,
let's be honest. - You're so funny.
Oh my God. - I just cried the whole time-
- I'm picturing your parents upstairs in their house
going, "Do you think she'll leave eventually?"
(audience laughing)
- It was not cute, you're so right.
They were just like, "Is she okay?"
Because it was just the only way I could,
I was so depressed and I just-
- Crying feels good.
- Just singing and crying,
I did not realize how therapeutic it was.
And I think so many people are insecure about their voices,
and so they won't sing.
But I gotta tell people it's so good-
- It feels good.
- I think it's therapy,
and I think that it's an untapped thing
that people need to get into more,
of just belting out songs.
- Yes exactly, I made a living off of it.
(audience laughing) - Yeah.
- No, but it started out for me.
And I don't know if it started out this way for you,
but it literally started out as poetry
'cause I had a hard time communicating,
still working on it. - Yes.
(audience laughing)
- But anyway, so I started writing
and then it turned into song.
- But this is the thing, Kelly.
I feel the same way,
I have a hard time communicating as well,
and that's why I think I went to stand up
because I could go get on stage with the microphone
and mask the things I wanted to say with jokes.
- 100%.
- And now I'm trying to do songwriting,
and I'm struggling so much 'cause it's so sincere
that, you know, when I say a joke,
it might be a sincere thought,
and then I'm like, "But I'm joke."
But I'm not kidding, that's not really how I feel.
- You just can't do that, you're not kidding.
It's just sad, you just stay there.
- Yeah, but isn't that so vulnerable to be like,
- Yes.
♪ We were walking in the sand ♪
- It's just like what?
(audience applauding) - We're walking in the sand,
are you in Greece? - I don't know, that's the-
(audience applauding)
- I love that (laughs)
- It's just I really struggle with songwriting,
and I'm interested to hear
how you get in that space where you don't feel ridiculous.
- I don't know about you, but are you good, (indistinct),
being in a room and you plan it on Tuesday at five,
you're gonna write a song.
Like I know a lot of people in Nashville
like, a lot of my friends do that.
And I'm like, "I can't plan to be inspired."
So I don't write well with people in the room.
- No, well- - I write on my own.
If you see my name, it's usually
I did the lyrics melody on my own.
- Oh right. - Generally, yeah.
- I did a tour with Young Thug,
and every single day he was on the studio
and he never told anyone to be quiet.
Like the mic was next to the computer,
he never had a booth,
and he just like let whatever was happening happen,
and he just did all his songs like that.
So I guess I took a chapter out of that
and I've never put pressure on myself anymore.
I just do whatever it really is, whatever-
- You really okay with the vulnerability.
- 100%.
- (indistinct) WhatsApp on you phone.
- I feel like I get in the studio, yes.
- Is that where you put all the lyric-
- Yes, notes and voice notes, totally hack my phone.
(audience laughing)
But don't (laughs).
- Please don't. - I've been hacked before.
(laughs) It was like 80 something songs of mine,
I got hacked on my computer,
and they were all demos and I was like, "Oh wait."
(audience laughing)
It's like someone, the earth,
like everyone on earth reading your diary
like that wasn't filtered, it was fun.
- You would have rather than found nudes, you're like,
- Well, I don't have those. - "That's less vulnerable."