I am obsessed with taking 100,000 steps a day.
I usually jog about three and a half hours
before I take a break.
When it's time for my first break,
I usually eat yogurt and blueberries.
I just mix it in and I jog
for about another two and a half, three hours.
And I eat my second breakfast.
And then I jogged about another three hours.
When I eat my lunch.
I absolutely wish I just had a catheter
so I didn't have to stop jogging.
Every seven and a half minutes I change direction.
Jogging has consumed my life.
(dramatic music)
My brain is a tangle of an obsession
of eating and food and calories.
That's literally all I think about.
Sitting here in this interview has given me anxiety
and making me wonder how many steps I'm missing
and how many calories are going straight to my thighs.
You're really suffering with this.
I don't think this is something that you do for attention.
I don't think it's something that you do
because it gives you some kind of sick pay off
in a way that you are avoiding your marriage
or avoiding something,
that you're actually kind of symbolically
running away from your life.
I don't think it's that direct,
but I've thought about this a lot.
I've been doing this a long time.
And I've actually created an entire schematic
of what I think is going on with you here.
It's not very pretty
because I don't have very good handwriting,
but I want to talk to you about this
because I don't think this is a puzzle at all.
This lady walking 50 miles a day.
You know, I get frustrated because I see,
I see people that suffer needlessly.
That's what frustrates me.
Because nobody has really taken the time
to break this down and figure this out for this woman.
And she says she's been to, you know,
four or five different docs and they go, I don't know.
Really?
Seriously?
I mean, does that seem reasonable?
No.
But it happens a lot, right?
Yeah.
And they write scripts.
But I mean,
when I looked, and I did spend a fair amount of time on it.
I admit I really do study these things.
And I just, instead of a fancy,
I'd just written this out while I'm studying this,
I'm writing things down and it didn't look very nice,
but I was just showing her
how simple this is when you break it down.
You know, she's got this early trauma in her life.
And if you don't deal with those things,
they're like open wounds.
It's like, you cut your leg and you got a gash
and you just leave it open
and just walk around the rest of your life.
And it just oozes, and gets infected and is just terrible.
That's what happens when you get sexually molested
and then sexually assaulted and abused.
This changes who you are.
It's not something that happens and then it's over.
It changes who you are.
It affects the way you see yourself.
It affects the way you see the world.
It affects the way you engage the world.
And then she's got head injuries on top of that.
So her self esteem is impacted.
All of that's impacted.
So she comes over here
and starts trying to manage it herself.
And you know, there are two things
that are fundamental about all of us,
about what we can control in our lives from babies:
what we take in and what we put out.
That's why potty training is critical
and getting, and, you know, getting a child to eat.
You know, they don't want to eat.
They just won't do it.
So that's the first power a child has,
is what they take in, and what and when they put out.
And if they don't want mom to go out,
they can just be right there in the doorway
and have an accident right when she's going out.
They gotta stop, gotta go back in.
And that's their power.
And so, when they feel out of control, what's she do?
She starts controlling those things
that basically she can control,
which is her intake and her food.
And then they decided she was over that.
She's not over that.
She's walking 100,000 steps a day.
And then binging, she,
did you see she's eating big pieces of cake
and pie and stuff at night.
She's still binging and then walking 100,000 steps a day.
Did nobody notice that?
(audience laughs)
This isn't over.
Should I used to have an eating disorder?
No, you didn't.
You still have an eating disorder.
(rock music)