One dollar cocktails and genuinely affordable truffles might sound like a dream come true,
but in reality, they're among the many cheap restaurant items that are actually nightmares.
Lobster's status as a quintessential example of warm-weather indulgence is
tough to dispute. Simply put, modern diners can't get enough of this often-pricey shellfish. But if
you're ever tempted to order a suspiciously cheap lobster, you might want to reconsider.
There are several reasons for an unexpectedly low-cost lobster, each of which should drive you
away. For one thing, it may no longer be fresh. Additionally, it may not be the expected Maine
lobster, but rather the smaller Langostino species. Or perhaps worst of all, it may not
even be the real deal, but instead some sort of faux-lobster crafted through culinary trickery.
Now, to be clear, the price of lobster has been known to ebb and flow from year
to year. But a slight dip in price from one year to the next doesn't
mean that you should trust a lobster that's as cheap as a can of tuna.
"You know what? I'll have the lobster."
"Excuse me?" "The lobster special."
If you see certain cheap pasta dishes on a menu, it's probably safe to assume that they
were pre-made, and therefore not worth ordering. Actually, it may just be best to skip any pasta
dish at all at a restaurant, regardless of the price. It's not that a relatively
simple or cheap ziti or linguine dish won't be appetizing or filling. But if you're splurging
on a night out on the town, it's not really worth ordering a dish that you can easily put together
yourself in about 20 minutes with ingredients that are always available in your own kitchen.
Furthermore, you'll always want to avoid a kid's version of macaroni and cheese from the
menu. After all, as any person who's worked in the food service industry knows, these options
are often pre-made and offer nothing more than a cheap imitation of the Kraft brand variety.
Applebee's is a bit like Subway, insofar as this once-beloved sit-down restaurant
appears to have lost a bit of its luster in recent years. Even when
Applebee's offers something worthwhile, like its famed one-dollar margarita,
or "Dollarita," it's not really worth your time or money. That's because this pre-made
concoction is assembled with low-quality tequila, concentrated generic margarita mix, and water.
And it's probably fair to presume that Applebee's isn't alone when
it comes to offering skippable cheap margaritas. After all, a cocktail made
with top-notch ingredients, particularly top-shelf tequila, should never be cheap.
But maybe you don't care too much about the specific origins of a
low-cost alcoholic beverage. As long as it gets you inebriated,
you'll soon be too drunk to care anyway. But if you're also hoping to avoid an overly processed,
high-sugar drink, you'd be well-advised to skip a cheap margarita, from Applebee's or anywhere else.
"Yard margs at Skeeper's." "Perfect. I left my credit card there."
From a manufacturer's standpoint, imitation crab makes a fair amount of sense. It's a simple way
to repurpose relatively unappealing fish products into a crab-like substance that provides a cheap,
if highly processed, alternative to the real thing. Consequently,
supermarket shoppers won't have difficulty discerning real crab from the less expensive
imitation. You can simply peruse the ingredient list if you're unsure. If a
crab dish is suspiciously cheap at a restaurant, it may be trying to pull a fast one on customers.
Considering the reputational risk a restaurant runs by deliberately misleading customers when
substituting imitation crab for the real thing, we'd like to imagine that few establishments
actually do this. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't keep your eyes peeled for this maneuver.
If you're wary about your crab's authenticity, don't be shy. Politely ask your server about the
actual ingredients and prep process. And if you remain unconvinced, opt for your second choice.
Chicken breasts are a widely popular and healthy poultry,
with a particular appeal for anyone who can't stand dark meat. Since it's fairly easy to
overcook chicken breasts at home, there's a certain joy in letting a restaurant do
it for you. But if it's unusually cheap, you'd be wise to avoid it.
Part of the problem is that it's not especially difficult to find a chicken breast-centric menu
item that's affordable. After all, cheap or not, chicken breasts can be found at just about every
non-vegan restaurant across the nation. But the simple fact that it's incredibly common
means that it's not worth spending your money on something you can get virtually anywhere.
So considering the practically universal availability of chicken breasts,
you should probably never order a cheap, or expensive, option. If you're splurging during
a night out, why not opt for something you're unlikely to find elsewhere?
Even though The Good Place's Eleanor famously despised clam chowder,
we can't get enough of its rich, creamy delightfulness. But it's not quite as
delightful when it's surprisingly cheap. That's because odds are it's not made of fresh clams
but rather the canned variety. As chef Rusty Hansen revealed to Eat This, Not That in 2022,
"[Clam chowder] may be considered as the lowest quality menu item at a seafood
restaurant because the clam chowder is sometimes made from canned clams."
While canned foods are perfectly fine for home cooking, if we're paying a premium to eat at a
restaurant, we expect a level of quality that supersedes our own ability. In other words,
even if you absolutely love clam chowder, don't go for the bargain-basement option. Instead,
wait until you can splurge on some clams that are fresh out of the water.
"Who wants chowder?!"
It should be pretty clear that it's always worth taking an objective step back when you
come across a deal that looks too good to be true. You may swoon over the possibility that
fate is smiling upon you. But when it comes to low-priced Wagyu beef, the odds simply aren't
in your favor. There are reasons to doubt that an expensive Wagyu menu item doesn't actually
contain authentic Wagyu. So how could you ever possibly have any faith in a cheaper alternative?
There's a fairly straightforward reason why you should never order cheap Kobe beef,
which is a common type of Wagyu. Why? Well, it's almost certainly not the real deal. According to
Larry Olmsted, author of the book Real Food, Fake Food, Wagyu and Kobe beef dishes are
"plagued with fraud" at restaurants around the globe. So, it's immensely challenging to
feel confident when ordering any version of these prized marbled cuts. We understand the
temptation to order high-quality luxury meat, but it's just not worth the risk in this case.
"Hey, you're a great big phony, you know that?"
One piece of conventional wisdom when it comes to cheap menu items is that you should make sure to
be on the lookout for subpar and inaccurately labeled products. But when it comes to cheap
sushi, the concern should actually be more about the potential health risks.
Just as you should skip gas station sushi, the dangers of cheap restaurant sushi and the
risk of ending up with food poisoning are too great to justify any sort of potential reward.
It's fairly well-known that eating sushi is a health risk for some, considering the
potential health hazards of consuming raw fish. In addition to those health concerns,
there's also the reality that many cheap sushi items don't actually contain what
they say they do. In fact, as Larry Olmsted explained to The Independent,
"With the exception of the most expensive and elite sushi eateries that fly in their own fish,
the failure rate of restaurants having at
least one fake on the menu when tested approaches 100 percent."
Whether you're worried about your health or your taste buds, don't fall into bargain sushi's trap.
There shouldn't be anything unclear about the problem with an affordable truffle. After all,
the cost per pound for black truffles reportedly averaged between $300 and
$800 in 2021, with white truffles averaging an astounding $4,000 per
pound. We probably don't need to spell it out why there's simply no realistic path to
truffles being anything but astronomically expensive when served at a restaurant.
If you come across a low-cost truffle item, the reason is somewhat simple. More often than not,
if a restaurant offers an affordable dish that claims to include truffles,
it almost certainly consists of truffle oil rather than actual truffles.
While cooking oil being derived from other foods isn't inherently a problem,
the issue with truffle oil is that it's completely artificial and contains no
real truffles. Fresh truffles also tend to spoil within a week or two,
further decreasing the likelihood of finding any legitimate discounts.
So if you really want to scratch that luxury fine-dining itch,
you're just going to have to be patient and save up.
"First you gotta do The Truffle Shuffle."
"Come on!" "Do it."
"Come on!" "Do it!"
It's not hard to understand the motivations of restaurants when they offer genuinely
appealing deals on often-unattainable foods. But when the entire basis of doing so involves
deliberately deceiving customers by presenting a cheap imitation as a legitimate product,
it's hard to swallow. On that note, you should avoid ordering cheap restaurant red snapper
dishes. Because if you do, you may not have any idea what fish you're actually consuming.
There's no shortage of potential culinary shortcuts a restaurant
can take with menu items, but as author Larry Olmsted noted to The Independent,
"Seafood would be the worst category overall. When you order the priciest, most desirable white fish,
such as red snapper, grouper, and the like, most of the time you are just not going to get them."
That shouldn't be too surprising at this point, considering the problems with lobster, crab,
and sushi. Since red snapper is one of the more prized fish options out there,
if you see it for less than expected, chances are high that it's not 100 percent red snapper.
You may love all things seafood, but that doesn't mean everyone loves healthy aquatically derived
proteins. Since grouper is one of the better fish choices for people who don't like fish,
it's easy to see why a health-conscious diner may find cheap grouper appealing.
But like so many other seafood menu items, if you order a cheap or even regularly priced
grouper dish, it's unlikely that you'll be served actual grouper.
As reported by The Providence Journal, a restaurant-bought grouper is often
substituted with a cheap alternative called whitefin weakfish. Diners may be unaware of
the difference, and in some cases, restaurants may have unknowingly purchased a fake product.
But it doesn't change the fact that when customers order a certain type of fish,
they deserve that exact fish. Since you can't trust a grouper menu item at any price,
you'd be especially wise to avoid ordering the cheapest options.
"Cheep! Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep! Cheeeeeep!"
Popping a bottle of Champagne to celebrate New Year's, graduation, a sports championship, or
pretty much anything else is one of the great joys of adulthood. When the bubbly is flowing, you're
probably not thinking too deeply about the fairly strict regulations regarding Champagne production.
It’s also worth knowing that only sparkling wine produced in the Champagne region of France can
legally be called Champagne in many parts of the world. Thus, you might assume it's
impossible to be duped by a cheap imitation. However, California state laws actually allow
winemakers to label their sparkling wine products as Champagne, even if they're not from France.
Now, that doesn't mean that California Champagne is inherently terrible. On the contrary,
there are plenty of worthwhile sparkling wines, regardless of their geographic
origin. But there are probably plenty of people who are completely unaware
that Champagne sold in the United States isn't necessarily authentic Champagne from France.
If you come across cheap Champagne on a restaurant menu, there may be some telltale signs indicating
that it's fake, including the bottle itself and its packaging. And when all else fails,
check the vineyard of origin. If it's not from France, you'll know it's not worth ordering.