- I think I had my first cigarette at like 10.
- That would have been my guess.
- Shut up.
- Dagnamit.
(classical music)
- [Director] Who are you people
and how do you know each other?
- How do we know each other?
I kidnapped them about 15 years ago
and they've yet to get rid of me.
- Very funny, I would have taken you out by now.
- I'm Hailey.
I am Laura's daughter.
- I'm Laura, her mom.
- [Hailey] And this is my stepfather, Lou.
- Hi.
- [Director] The game today
is we're gonna bring out items and you two have to guess
whether Hailey has that item.
- If it's hers or not hers.
- [Director] Yes.
- Do you think I hide anything from you, Mom?
- I don't.
- You have.
- I've hidden stuff from you?
- You have and it's nothing bad, I'm just saying that.
There are things I know that you don't know that I know.
We're never gonna talk about them.
- So why did you bring it up?
- I'm answering the question.
This is his fault. (Hailey laughs)
I didn't do this.
Oh, by the way, our safe word is bananas.
(Laura laughs)
- [Director] Okay. Are you ready to play?
- Yes. - I'm ready.
- Yes, sir.
- [Female voice] Cigarettes
[Director] Does Haley own cigarettes?
- Yes.
- That's true.
Director] How do you know?
- Because of--
- 'Cause we all smoke together.(laughs)
- Yes I do smoke
[Hailey] and we smoke together.
- Yes
- I think I had my first cigarette at like 10.
- That would have been my guess
- Shut up.
- Dagnamit.
She told me that, I remember that.
- Wow, so you did know something I didn't know.
- I know,
I said I knew something you didn't know.
- That was the thing. - No that wasn't the thing,
the other thing you wouldn't even want to know
- Oh no, there's still another thing, wow, okay.
- [Director] We're going to bring in the next item.
- [Lou] Okay.
Possibly some kind of weird sex toy.
It looks like some kind of baby rattle bottle thing.
I have no idea what this thing is.
- I know what it is.
- Of course you know what it is?
- Is it a douchebag?
- That's (laughing drowns out speaker)
- Where's the bag, I thought it was a bag.
- [Hailey] We've evolved
- That, why did you flick it over?
- I was just seeing what it would do,
I don't know.
My guess is no.
- I'll say yes.
- I do not own one, no.
- [Director] ] Oh, Lou's in the lead.
- Oh.
- [Hailey] (clapping) On ahead
- [Female voice] Condoms.
- [Director] Ask your daughter, "are you sexually active?"
- (hesitates)Are you sexually active?
- I mean, I would say I'm a sexually-active 24 year old.
- [Director] Ask your daughter if she's monogamous.
- Are you monogama-- mon--
Wait a minute, mono--
No, wait a minute.
- Menage a trois?
- Do you sleep with your boyfriend?
- Yes. I strictly only sleep with my boyfriend.
- Right that's what I was tryng to say.
- And he strictly, only sleeps with me.
- Right
- [Director] Ask, "have you ever had a one night stand
and not used a condom?"
- Ooooh. Hailey,
have you had a one night stand--
- Oh boy.
- and not used a condom?
- Oh boy.
Bananas.
(Laura laughs)
- You know-- - Oh, just say the truth.
- Yeah.
- You still have to think about it - Yeah, I have.
I have.
- Wow.
- it was a very important part of me growing.
- having a one night stand and not using a condom?
- Yes. I had to learn to not do that.(slaps her palm)
- So you did it,
to learn not to do it?
- Correct.
- [Director] Does Haley own condoms?
- Yes. She's got at least one condom in the house.
- And I'm saying no.
- I don't have any condoms.
- Why don't you have condoms?
- Honestly, convenience.
- Do you believe this?
Do you believe this?
- Have you ever had a one night stand--
- I'll have her answer-- and not used a condom?
- Yeah.
- Well, You got to learn.
- Wow.
- But here's the thing, I really didn't learn.
I just kept doing it.
- [Laura] Oh boy.
It's a pregnancy test.
- Yeah.
- What do you say?
- No.
- Yes.
Have you ever had to use a pregnancy test?
- Oh yeah.
- I don't like when you do that
you make it sound like,
- Well, I panic a lot.
- You take a lot of them.
- I panic a lot.
- Oh,
Oh my God.
- (Laura laughs)
- I've got nothing to say,
I'll let you take this one.
- Do you know what it's called?
- Not a clue.
- It's a ball gag.
- Okay. I'm saying no, it does not at least.
That's wishful thinking again (Hailey laughs)
it is not my daughter's.
- [Director] Lou, what are you thinking?
- I'm going to say yes, she owns one.
- Hailey have you ever used a ball-gag?
- Simple.
No.
- Okay
- But maybe someday.
- It doesn't just freak you out and make you--
- Maybe someday.
- You wouldn't use it?
- No.
No.
- Bananas on this one.
Do not ask me about this thing.
- Have you used this on somebody before?
- Bananas.
- That's yes?
- No, yes I don't have to answer the question.
- Oh, It's a bong.
Haley does yes, have one of these.
I've seen her smoke out of it.
- [Director] Lou, What's your answer?
- Of course.
- Have you partaked with her?
- I thought he's asking the questions.
- But he would have me ask you.
It was the next question
- He is the director.
That's what he does.
- We partake.
- They Partake.
- She hasn't yet, but we're getting there.
- No, what is yet.
(Lou laughs)
When it comes to marijuana, that was your choice.
I mean, we've talked about this
you know this.
This Jake, her boyfriend.
I know he didn't force it on you.
- Do you think Jake is a bad influence on me?
- So here's my take on this very simply.
Sometimes he drives me nuts
and I want to punch him in the fucking face.
'Cause he don't move quick enough.
(Hailey laughs)
- he's like a sloth.
That's like a
- It's a machete. - Oh, okay.
I mean she does have swords, not knives.
They're swords.
[Director] Why does Hailey have swords.
- I like anime and I like playing games
- Yeah, that's it. - They're props,
- They're props, - They're props and stuff.
I'm going to say no
[Director] Lou?
- Absolutely.she's probably got two of them.
- I do own a machete.
- Wow. This is shocking.
- It was when my brother was living with me
and he gave it to me
and I think it was his way of like paying me rent.
He gave me a machete
- Nice.
- [Female voice] Oh boy.
[Lou] Oh.
- Just a normal,
- Oh, look at that.
That's cool, wow.
Actually that sticks.
Huh
(classical music)
- No
- She absolutely owns one.
She's a future gag ball.
user thing.
That's the first step.
The next thing you know, - it's like marijuana
- is we'll be doing the gag-ball.
- The dildo is the gateway drug to--
- Well, no its not a drug
but it's the gateway to like the ball in the mouth thing.
I do have one it's like that kind of but--
- Does it have a battery.
- No, - Stop it
- no it doesn't wiggle like that.
Thank God
- Oh. You ever used it on Jake.
- Oooooh - Lord no, no.
I don't think it's ever even in front of him.
- [[Female voice] A sex magazine.
- Oh my gosh.
- What do you think?
- I think it's-- - not your cup of tea?
- not my cup of tea.
Do you watch porn?
- I do.
Sometimes.
- What's your answer.
- Of course she does.
- It's going to be no again.
Do you own a porn magazine?
- I don't, no.
- Oh man.
- Yes,
yes.
- You know, I've watched a lot of porn with girlfriends
whatever.
The people were into it
I didn't have a problem with it.
If I remember correctly, when I was younger
I might've even actually produced some porn.
- Did you act in a porno?
- Bananas
- Oh
- No. I did not act.
I was more of like a director type.
- Were you a camera guy for a porno?
- Well possibly,
- So you watched other people have sex and you taped it.
- Kind of, sort of.
- Woah
- [Director] So Laura won.
- (cheers and claps)
- Good job Laura
- I know my daughter.
Well, I know her,
but I also found out a lot today about her
that I didn't know.
- [Director] What'd you learn
- That she has a dildo (laughs)
- I guess I'm just glad that we can be this open.
I'm just happy that it went this well
and that we're not weird about it.
- I kind of was thinking you guys were gonna say
what's your favorite band?
(laughing)Like I was not expecting this
- You were expecting--
(words drowned out by laughing and the parents speaking)
- What's your favorite candy?
- Well kind of
but then when this all started, I got a little nervous.
- [Director] Is it good to keep some things to ourselves?
- Yes. I don't think that all your stuff should be out there
which is good that you kept those things private
until today. (Lou giggles)
And then you let the whole world know.
- [Director] Great job, you guys.
(Hailey giggles)
- Thank you.(clapping)
- Good job mom, - Thank you it was fun.
- [Hailey] Good job, Lou.