>> James: GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE
"LATE LATE SHOW."
HOPE YOU HAD A NICE DAY.
THANK YOU FOR STAYING UP LATE WITH US TONIGHT.
WE'RE GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
WE HAVE A FUN SHOW PLANNED FOR YOU.
TONIGHT WE'LL BE CHATTING WITH THE LEGENDARY MERYL STREEP.
AND LATER, WE HAVE A PERFORMANCE FROM BILLY EICHNER, YOU DON'T
WANT TO MISS IT.
MERYL STREEP, BILLY EICHNER -- IN A WAY, IAN AND REG, I THINK
OF YOU TWO AS THE MERYL STREEP AND BILLY EICHNER OF T "THE LATE
LATE SHOW."
I'LL LET YOU DECIDE WHICH IS WHICH.
WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT'S THIS?
>> FROM REGGIE'S NEW UNDERWEAR LINE.
>> James: IT'S A CHRISTMAS MANKINI.
LOOK AT THAT.
>> Reggie: SO GOOD.
>> James: A CHRISTMAS MANKINI.
I THINK YOU WOULD LOOK GOOD IN THAT, JAMES.
>> James: I THINK I WOULD, LOU.
>> MERRY CHRISTMAS, LOU.
>> James: IF WE KEEP UP WITH THIS JOSEÉ CUERVO TEQUILA BAR,
YOU'RE GOING TO SEE IT.
( LAUGHTER ) THANK YOU FOR THAT, LOU, I WILL
TREASURE IT ALWAYS.
>> Reggie: RIGHT IN THE BOTTOM DRAWER.
>> James: I'LL TREASURE IT ALWAYS, LOU.
THANK YOU.
( LAUGHTER ) THE MANKINI STUCK AROUND.
THANKS FOR JOINING US, LOUIE.
I'M GLAD.
THANKS FOR JOINING US, LOUIE.
>> Reggie: REGULAR FERRIS BUELLER.
>> James: I LOVED THAT YOU CROUCHED DOWN LIKE NO ONE WOULD
SEE THAT YOU MISSED THE OPENING OF THE SHOW.
>> NO, I DIDN'T.
>> James: YOU WHAT?
NO, I DIDN'T.
>> James: YOU DIDN'T?
YOU DIDN'T MISS IT?
>> NO.
>> James: YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY YOU WEREN'T LATE FOR THE START
OF THE SHOW.
>> NOPE!
>> James: CAN I BE HONEST.
I FEEL LIKE, BECAUSE YOU WERE LATE FOR THE SHOW, YOU SHOULD
COME BACK BY THE END OF THIS -- ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: FOR BEING LATE FOR THE SHOW, BY THE TIME WE GO TO
BREAK, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO BE WEARING THIS TO GO TO BREAK.
OKAY?
IS THAT ALL RIGHT?
OKAY?
WELL, YOU SHOULD GO AND GET CHANGED.
YOU CAN'T PUT IT OVER YOUR CLOTHES.
LOUIE, YOU CAN LEAVE AND GO BACK AND, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN KEEP YOUR
UNDERPANTS ON BECAUSE OTHERWISE -- THANK YOU, LOUIE.
WHILE YOU DO THAT, WE'LL TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES.
SOME VERY EXCITING NEWS FROM MY HOMELAND.
AND LOUIE'S HOMELAND, ACTUALLY, WE SHOULD SAY, BECAUSE, TODAY --
LISTEN TO THIS, GANG -- TODAY, THE U.K. STARTED GIVING
OUT THE COVID-19 VACCINE.
YEAH.
A 90-YEAR-OLD WOMAN IN ENGLAND BECAME THE FIRST PERSON IN THE
WORLD TO GET THE SHOT.
JUST IN TIME, SHE HAS PLANS TO GO SEE THE CHAINSMOKERS LIVE
NEXT WEEK.
HERE SHE IS RIGHT AFTER SHE GOT HER VACCINE.
>> WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THOSE WHO MIGHT BE HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS
ABOUT HAVING THIS?
>> WELL, I SAY GO FOR IT.
GO FOR IT BECAUSE IT'S -- IT'S FREE, AND IT'S THE BEST THING
THAT'S EVER HAPPENED AT THE MOMENT, SO DO, PLEASE, GO FOR
IT.
THAT'S ALL I SAY, YOU KNOW?
IF I CAN DO IT, WELL, SO CAN YOU.
>> JAMES: "IF I CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU."
WHICH IS THE POLITE WAY OF SAYING "DON'T BE A DICK, GET THE
SHOT."
( LAUGHTER ) ALSO, I LOVE THAT SHE'S, LIKE,
"GO FOR IT, IT'S FREE."
IT'S FREE!
SHE SOUNDS LIKE MY INNER VOICE AT A RESTAURANT EVERY TIME I ASK
FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF BREAD.
IT'S FREE!
( LAUGHTER ) THE SECOND PERSON TO GET THE
VACCINE TODAY WAS AN 81-YEAR-OLD ENGLISH MAN NAMED -- AND I
PROMISE WE'RE NOT MAKING THIS UP, WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.
S THIS IS THE BRITISH VERSION OF
MICHAEL B. JORDAN.
WHY WOULD HIS PARENTS NAME HIM THAT?
NO ONE CAN LIVE UP TO WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S NAME.
PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO BE LIKE, "SO, I WAS READING SOME OF
SHAKESPEARE'S GREATEST WORKS AND--"
"HANG ON, WHICH SHAKESPEARE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THE PLAYWRIGHT OR THE LORRY DRIVER?"
( LAUGHTER ) MEANWHILE, HERE IN THE UNITED
STATES, THERE ARE NOW CONCERNS ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THERE ARE
ENOUGH VACCINATIONS TO GO AROUND.
AND ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT, WHEN PFIZER OFFERED TO SELL THE
UNITED STATES MORE DOSES THIS SUMMER, THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION
AND THAT, RIGHT THERE, IS THE ART OF THE DEAL.
( LAUGHTER ) SPEAKING OF THAT, ANOTHER MEMBER
OF THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN TESTED POSITIVE FOR THE COVID.
TODAY IT'S TRUMP CAMPAIGN LAWYER, JENNA ELLIS.
I BARELY KNOW WHO JENNA ELLIS IS, BUT AS SOON AS I SAW THE
WORDS, "TRUMP CAMPAIGN LAWYER," I THOUGHT, "OH, SHE PROBABLY GOT
COVID."
IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH JENNA ELLIS, HERE SHE IS HERE.
SHE'S THE WOMAN WHO STANDS BEHIND RUDY GIULIANI AND NODS
LIKE WHAT HE'S SAYING ISN'T INCOHERENT NONSENSE.
IS THERE A WORSE JOB IN AMERICA -- IT MAKES COME FROM A SECRET
SANTA.
IT COULD BE ANYONE.
THE SUPREME COURT IS REFUSING TO HEAR TRUMP'S ACCUSATIONS ABOUT
THROWING OUT BALLOTS IN PENNSYLVANIA.
WHICH IS A SHAME, BECAUSE REPUBLICAN SENATOR TED CRUZ HAD
ALREADY VOLUNTEERED HIS LEGAL SERVICES.
IN A TWEET LAST NIGHT, CRUZ SAID THAT HE WAS, "READY TO PRESENT
THE ORAL ARGUMENT."
LOOK, I'M WITH YOU, I NEVER WANT TO HEAR THE WORDS "TED CRUZ" AND
"ORAL" IN THE SAME SENTENCE EITHER.
TED CRUZ THINKS HE'S GREAT AT ORAL ARGUMENTS.
THEN AGAIN, TED CRUZ ALSO THINKS HE'S GREAT AT DOING IMPRESSIONS
OF CHARACTERS FROM "THE SIMPSONS."
>> BUT DAD, I'M A VEGETARIAN, I DON'T EAT ANIMALS.
>> BUT, LISA, ANIMALS ARE SO DELICIOUS!
>> Reggie: OH, WOW.
AMAZING.
INCREDIBLE.
>> James: IS THERE ANYONE WORSE THAN SOMEONE WHO THINKS
THEY CAN DO AN IMPRESSION?
THEY SHOULD BE THE LAST PEOPLE TO GET A VACCINE.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU THINK WHEN YOU'RE LINING UP
,DO YOU DO ANY IMPRESSIONS?
THIS IS MY TRUMP.
NOPE.
GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE.
WHO IS YOUR IMPRESSION.
>> PRINCE PHILIP FROM THE CROWN.
THIS IS HIM TALKING TO THE QUEEN.
SHALL WE WATCH THAT OCTOPUS DOCUMENTARY?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SHALL WE WATCH THE OCTOPUS DOCUMENTARY ON NETFLIX
EVERYONE'S BEEN READING ABOUT?
AND HE'S LIKE, YEAH!
>> James: YOU COULD DO THE NEXT SEASON.
>> I RECENTLY HEARD THE BRITISH MENU, DO YOU SUPPOSE WE COULD
SEND SOMEONE TO GET IT FOR US?
( LAUGHTER ) >> James: VERY GOOD.
REG, WHO'S YOURS.
>> Reggie: I ALWAYS GO WITH MATT BERRY!
( LAUGHTER ) HE'S A WONDERFUL MAN, VERY SEXY.
>> James: THAT'S A GOOD MATT BERRY.
>> Reggie: SEXUAL.
>> James: THAT'S A GOOD MATT BERRY.
YOU KNOW WHO MINE IS?
SHAGGY.
( IMITATING ) BUT SHE CAUGHT ME ON THE
COUNTER.
EVEN HEARD ME ON CAMERA. ] IMITATING ).
AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?
THE 2024 OLYMPIC GAMES, WHICH ARE SCHEDULED TO TAKE PLACE IN
PARIS, FRANCE, WILL INCLUDE A NEW SPORT: BREAKDANCING.
>> Reggie: YES.
>> James: I KNOW, I LOVE THIS!
WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL, GUYS.
I JUST WENT FROM "THEATER KID" TO "JOCK."
( LAUGHTER ) I'M REALLY HOPING IT'S A
SUCCESS.
IF THIS GOES WELL, BY 2028 WE COULD SEE OLYMPIC FLOSSING.
( LAUGHTER ) THE OLYMPIC COMMITTEE IS HOPING
TO ATTRACT A YOUNGER AUDIENCE MOVING FORWARD.
AND APPARENTLY THAT YOUNGER AUDIENCE INCLUDES TEENS FROM THE
BRONX DURING THE '80S.
( LAUGHTER ) HOW DIE DO THIS?
HOW DO YOU GET INTO THIS?
WHAT DO WE DO, PUT TOGETHER A CREW?
>> Reggie: YEAH, YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CREW FOR SURE.
>> James: WE COULD PUT TOGETHER A CREW, COULDN'T WE?
>> I THINK THE THREE OF US AND GALA AND THAT WAS A GOLD MEDAL.
>> Reggie: INGALA.
>> James: INGALA TURNS UP WITHGARD BOARD.
I WOULDN'T BREAK DANCE BUT I WOULD LIKE TO BE THE DUDE WHO
GOES IN AND THEN STEPS OUT.
I WOULD BE, LIKE, INGALLA'S THERE AND DOING WIND MILLS, AND
I WOULD BE LIKE -- ( RHYTHMIC DRUM BEATS )
( LAUGHTER ) >> James: IT'S ALL RIGHT!
( APPLAUSE ) I MEAN, LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING
I DON'T THINK WE'LL WIN.
I DON'T THINK WE'LL GET GOLD, BUT I THINK WE'LL COMPETE, DO
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> IT'S ANTICIPATION.
WHAT IS THAT GUY GOING TO DO?
AND YOU NEVER SHOW HIM.
SO WE HAVE TO GIVE HIM A GOLD TO COME BACK IN FOUR MORE YEARS.
>> James: I JUST WANT TO PLACE.
REG, I BET YOU ACTUALLY CAN BREAK DANCE, CAN'T YOU?
>> Reggie: I CAN DO ROBOTICS.
>> James: YOU'VE GOT GREAT ROBOTICS.
>> Reggie: YEAH.
>> James: AND YOUR RIPS.
>> Reggie: YEAH, I'VE GOT HIPS.
>> James: WHEN HE DANCES, REGGIE BECOMES LIKE A MAN
POSSESSED.
IT'S ALL IN THE HIPS AND THE WASTE AND YOUR HOLE WHOLE BODY
FLOWS IN THE WAY THAT I'M GOING TO THE BAR.
YEAH, REG.
WHAT IF WE GOT?
>> Reggie: IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
>> James: YES!
♪ ♪
COME ON NOW!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) GUYS!
I HONESTLY BELIEVE WE'RE FORMING A CREW HERE!
INGALA, CAN YOU ACTUALLY BREAK DANCE?
>> YEAH, I MEAN, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, BUT, YEAH.
♪ ♪
>> James: YES!
IN TRAINING.
>> James: I HONESTLY BELIEVE WE CAN DO THIS.
DO YOU HAVE MOVES, GUILLERMO?
ARE YOU IN THE CREW?
>> I'M GOING TO JOIN, BUT I PREFER TO STAY IN THE DEEJAY
KAG.
>> James: ME AND IAN ARE, LIKE, HYPE.
>> YEAH, PURE HYPE.
I'LL BE OUR LAWYER.
I'LL HANG OUT IN THE BACK, ANY CONTRACTS COME UP, I'LL GIVE HIM
A LOOK-OVER.
>> James: ME AND YOU, WE'VE GOT ENOUGH TO ADD TO THE CREW.
>> I WEAR A LOT OF NECKLACES.
>> James: HANG ON, YOU KNOW WHO'S MISSING FROM THIS CREW AND
I JUST HEARD HE'S READY.
BRING HIM OUT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LOUIE!
♪ ♪
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO.
UNACCEPTABLE.
( BOOING ) >> James: WHAT'S THE PROBLEM
HERE?
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
>> DON'T WANT TO DO IT.
>> James: WHY?
UST DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.
>> James: WHY?
UM, DON'T WANT TO DO IT.
>> James: WELL, I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE STARTING THE SHOW AT 3:00,
BUT I HAD TO BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN THE SHOW STARTS.
>> IT WILL HAVE TO DO.
YOU WILL HAVE TO IMAGINE ME.
( LAUGHTER ) >> James: IT'S JUST A SHAME.
IT'S JUST A SHAME.
WE WERE IN A REALLY GREAT VIBE THERE, PEOPLE -- ROB'S BREAK
DANCED, REGGIE'S DONE THE ROBOT, I'VE GOTTEN UP AND DOWN, WE'RE
ALL TRYING TO MAKE A SHOW.
I'M NOT UPSET FOR ME, IT'S THE VIEWERS AT HOME.
>> YEAH.
IT'S BEEN A HARD ENOUGH YEAR.
>> James: THE ONLY WAY THIS CAN BE SAVED IS IF YOU JOIN OUR
BREAK DANCING CREW AND SHOW US WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
♪ ♪
( LAUGHTER )