-Please welcome Ariana Grande!
-♪♪ Hey, hey-hey, hey ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
♪♪ Hey, hey-hey, hey ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
-Pinky promise That's what I'm talking about right there.
♪♪♪♪
-♪♪ Hey, hey-hey, hey ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
-[ Speaks indistinctly ] -[ Laughs ]
-Thank you for having me. I'm so nervous.
-You are? -Yeah, I don't --
This is my -- I don't speak.
It's my first time speaking in front of people.
-Yeah, you've never -- That's so interesting.
You've never been on a talk show.
-I've never spoken -- -How?
-I've never talked on a talk show.
-Yeah. How does it feel?
-Ever. It feels really -- I feel vulnerable.
-No, no, no, no. -I feel so weird.
-But you're doing a great job.
Isn't she talking like a person that talks?
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I can talk!
-All right. It's time for the "Ew!" speed round.
Okay? Here we go.
-Okay.
[ Laughter ]
-Hummus.
-Ew! -Yeah.
-Neck pillows.
-Ew. -Yeah!
-Venti lattes.
-Ew! I prefer grande.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪♪♪
-So -- All right.
So, Britney Spears, who we all know,
and "Mary Had a Little Lamb."
-All right. -Which is pretty -- Yeah.
So, Roots, can you give a little music here for Britney Spears?
♪♪♪♪
-[ As Britney Spears ] ♪♪ Well ♪♪
[ Laughter ]
♪♪ Way, ah ♪♪
♪♪ Oh ♪♪
♪♪ Little lamb ♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Normal voice ] That's enough.
-I got to meet your dog.
-Yes. Toulouse. -Toulouse.
-He's -- Yeah.
-Do you travel everywhere with him?
-I do. He comes on tour.
He loves the tour bus. He sleeps very well.
Hi, baby.
-Hey. Hi, Toulouse.
[ Laughs ]
Is he -- Is he a trained dog?
-No. He just gets it.
-He just gets it. Yeah.
-Yeah. [ Chuckles ]
I think it's 'cause I speak to him all the time,
and he kind of just gets it.
[ Laughter ]
-I mean, look. He knows where the camera is and everything.
-Yeah, he gets it.
-Well, he's a famous dog 'cause --
[ Laughter ]
He just found the camera.
What food do I hate the most?
-Ooh.
Ooh, I don't know.
-Yeah, you do.
♪♪♪♪
I'm putting the vibes out there.
♪♪♪♪
[ Markers scribbling ]
♪♪♪♪
I barf just writing it.
All right. I'm gonna show my answer. Don't look.
Ready? -[ Gasps ]
-Oh, you didn't write it yet.
You just got it?
-You know, because I -- Go ahead.
-You got my vibe?
All right. You got my vibe now.
-I think. Maybe. -Okay, this is great.
All right. -Go ahead. You go.
-Don't look. Ready?
[ Drumroll ]
-Blerf!
[ Laughter ]
-Blerf.
-I look -- I tried to look, but I'm blind, so it doesn't --
I couldn't see, so it didn't work.
-Let's see what your answer was.
[ Drumroll ]
[ Audience groans ] -"Mustard."
What? Mustard?
Mustard is so delicious!
It's yellow, it's got, like, spices in it,
it's vinegary.
Mayonnaise -- You know why I don't like it?
It reminds me of pus.
-Yeah, I don't like it, either. [ Audience groans ]
-Oh, stop.
-Oh, this is a good one.
Who was my first celebrity crush?
[ Laughter ]
-A little -- A little embarrassing.
A little embarrassing.
Ah, you know. [ Chuckles ]
Ha. Yeah, to actually write it down, I mean --
[ Laughing ] Everyone -- Everyone knows who it could be.
Hee hee hee-hee-hee!
[ Laughter ] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Clears throat ] All right. You show it to your --
Maybe I'll show mine first.
-Okay. Yeah, go ahead. -Ready?
Don't look.
[ Laughter ]
All right. Now show yours.
[ Audience shouts ] [ Sad tuba notes play ]
[ Applause ]
-Is that bad?
-We also have a very, very special guest here tonight
that I'm very excited -- I have not met.
-My nonna!
-Your nonna is here.
-Yeah, well, my whole family's here,
but she was really looking forward to meeting you.
-Hey, there's your bro!
There's your mom, there's your brother,
there's nonna!
-I don't know if you saw my tweet,
but she mentioned that you're the only man
who she'll stay up past 11:30 for.
-[ Chuckling ] That's what I'm talking about!
That's right. That's what I'm --
[ Cheers and applause ]
-And -- And when I told her that I was gonna take her here
to meet you, she was like,
"Oh, I gotta start planning my outfit."
And I was like,
"Nonna, what do you think is gonna come from this?"
And she goes, "You never know. I'm very naughty."
[ Laughter ]
-[ Laughs ]
Hey. -Whoo!
-I want to embarrass your mom a little bit, if you don't mind.
-Oh, she's -- Yeah, she's gonna [bleep] her pants.
-Because I love you.
[ Laughter ]
Well, besides that.
No, no, no. Mom.
-No, she knows what's coming already,
and she's really gonna -- Yeah.
-This is a video.
This is -- You played the album for the first time --
-I'm so sorry, Mom.
-Oh, no!
-Yeah.
[ Chuckles ] Yeah. This is a video --
This is -- Of course, your mom
is the most honest person in the world.
-Yeah, of course. I mean, she'll always
be the first person to --
I hear her, like, "No!"
-You hear her right now.
But she's also honest -- -When it sucks.
-...when she loves it, so here's a video.
Your mom was driving. -When it's bad or if it's good,
you'll always get the most honest reaction from your mom.
-You played the album for your mom,
and here's your mom's reaction.
This is genuine, and she didn't know she was being videotaped.
-Oh. Oh, my God! -[ Laughs ]
-Oh. Whoa!
No, Ariana, I'm not kidding.
That's the best song I ever heard!
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Holy [bleep]
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ]
-That's the first review of the record.
-This is the one that counts.
-[ Laughs ]
-All right.
-Are you all right?
-What is my most embarrassing bad habit?
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
Why did you write it that fast?
Like, all the other ones, you really thought about it.
You know, and then this one, you just -- Lookit.
You're writing like three sentences.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪♪♪
Oh, my gosh.
-[ Laughs ]
-[ Chuckles ]
All right. Let me show mine first.
[ Laughter ]
Should I show mine first?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead.
-My most embarrassing bad habit is...
[ Drumroll ] ...laughing.
I laugh too much. -No.
I like your laugh. You're good in that department.
This was the one.
[ Laughter ]
[ Sad tuba notes play ]
-[ Laughs ]
That's right, 'cause I'm your second crush!
I got you, girl!
-[ As Christina Aguilera ] ♪♪ The-e-e-e ♪♪
♪♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh ♪♪
♪♪ The wheels on the bus go ♪♪
♪♪ They go 'round, they go 'round ♪♪
♪♪ They, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh ♪♪
♪♪ They go a, go a, arou-u-u-u-nd ♪♪
♪♪ They go 'round and 'round, oh, hey ♪♪
♪♪ Wheels on the bus ♪♪
♪♪ They go ♪♪
♪♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪♪
♪♪ They go, oh, oh, oh ♪♪
♪♪ They go, they go ♪♪
♪♪ A-a-a-a-aro-o-o-o-und ♪♪
♪♪ Oh, oh, oh, hey, hey ♪♪
Ha!
♪♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪♪ -[ Laughs ]
-♪♪ Ooh, ooh, ha ♪♪
-[ Laughing ] Oh!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪♪♪
-♪♪ Unh ♪♪
♪♪♪♪
♪♪ Yeah ♪♪
♪♪♪♪