(audience cheering)
Hey, how about that!
Thanks for coming!
Oh, you're welcome.
You light up a room very nicely, how are you?
Good!
Yeah you know, this movie, we had Garry Marshall on,
a little while ago, about a week ago and he was talking
about the film and this is kind of a departure for you
because I think of you, you're such a good actress.
You play these really intense roles a lot of times.
And this is a comedy.
I know somewhere along the line,
I think "Natural Born Killers",
people started to stereotype me.
I'm not psychotic. (audience laughs)
We're flashing at underneath you right now.
Yeah, she's crazy. She's nuts.
(audience laughs)
But it was exciting for me to do comedy.
The movie is very funny.
So you guys are gonna enjoy it in that sense,
but I actually brought a joke. You brought a joke?
Yeah.
Okay. It's right,
I'm just kidding. (Conan laughs)
Hey! That wasn't it! (audience laughing)
Okay!
It'd be great if you did prop comedy night like Gallagher.
Yeah, I was like (imitates rope swishing)
Started smashing melons.
Right. Okay so, should I tell it?
It's a joke that you tell?
Okay, yeah. Yeah.
Tell your joke.
Sure. What's the matter?
I'm not promising it's gonna be funny.
It's probably not-
Trust me. You're on the right show. (audience laughs)
Okay. So what kind of bees make milk?
What kind of bees make milk? I don't know.
Boobies!
Oh my God! (audience laughs)
(audience cheers)
Oh my God! No one laughed.
No! What are you talking about?
No, they laughed out of,
a courtesy laugh!
That's how I built my career.
What are you talking about? (audience laughs)
Okay.
I get courtesy laughs every night.
We'd call it pity.
Pity. Yeah.
We work off that very nicely.
Okay.
Welcome to the club.
Oh thanks.
I love Garry Marshall.
I think he's a really fun guy.
He's been coming on this show for years.
What's he like to work with? Is he?-
He's really funny 'cause there's this saying
about Garry Marshall, that he doesn't direct a movie.
He hosts a movie. Mm-hmm.
And what me and Garry have in common is
that we eat every like hour and a half.
I have like this quick metab
and I always gotta keep my energy up.
So he'd be like, we were constant snackers, you know,
like crackers and tuna fish and cheese and cottage cheese.
He's like, "All right, Juliette,
you sitting over here and uh,"
you know, and there's crackers flying
and I'm like, "Aha, okay. (munches)
So I'm going to stand over here."
And then he has this assistant named Heather
and he's like, "Heather, bring me the tuna fish."
And its sort of this thing.
That's a pretty good Garry Marshall actually.
I try. Now, we've had him here.
You know, it's funny that you mentioned that
because I had to run back to the wardrobe room,
like half an hour before the show.
Yeah.
And I'm just, you know,
like rushing down there to the wardrobe room
to get like a tie or something
and I'm walking along and I just passed your room.
And out of one eye,
I see you about to take a bite out of the biggest sandwich.
Yeah, like huge-
The sandwich was bigger than your head.
(Juliette laughs) (audience laughs)
Like your sandwich towered over you.
Yeah.
You looked like Popeye in there.
Oh, thanks.
(Conan laughs) (audience laughing)
You're never coming back, are you?
Yeah.
I've heard that you,
'cause you seem fun.
We were talking earlier today and
that you throw a really good party.
That you're a good party host.
Is that true?
Yes. So my goal in life, one of my goals is to,
you know, make lots of money and be a socialite.
You know, like these rich Jetsetter people do
and throw these lavish parties.
I had this roller skating party for my birthday last year
and it was really fun, but I never had a prom.
So I'd want to do like a mock prom.
You didn't go to your prom.
Well, I just didn't have a prom?
I got out of school early. I missed the boat in that.
We had a prom. I didn't go.
(audience laughs)
So if you ever want to stage a prom,
I'd be happy to come along.
Oh gosh Conan, that's nice.
If you'd be happy enough to-
Oh my God! (audience laughs)
What? I got nervous!
What? I'd always played with,
What?
(audience laughs)
At first he was nice and then-
Then I turned creepy? Yeah!
Story of my life!
(audience laughs) (Juliette laughs)
Now you're wondering why I didn't go to my prom!
I blew it!
But so you'd have like a prom party?
You'd restage it?
Yeah, and I would do the best and worst dressed, I think.
Do they do that in high school? And king and queen,
but then I thought like it would be rigged
'cause I would win queen.
(audience laughs) (Conan laughs)
Right?
Which would be cool!
It would be cool.
But I'd like it to happen naturally.
Yeah.
Andy was the king of his prom.
I was prom king.
Are you serious?
Sorry, losers. (laughs) (audience cheering)
I had to bring that up. You know, that's just a fun fact.
I was, but it's it was a small school.
(audience laughs)
Andy, you don't have to mention that!
And if you were on homecoming court,
you couldn't be on prom king,
or you couldn't be on prom courts.
So it was sort of like,
I was sixth, most popular guy.
Oh why'd you ruin it?
Because you guys are so pathetic!
(audience laughing) (Conan laughing)
I had to come down your level. I am! Oh my gosh!
I called you Popeye and he said,
okay, this is going great.
You know, let's get serious here for a moment if it's okay.
No, my self esteem is shattered now!
I was just teasing ya, just teasing ya.
Let's have a serious moment here.
If you don't mind.
Fine. Okay.
(Andy laughs)
"Fine, whatever."
No, I wish you'd talk about something,
which is, you know,
we've been joking around a lot
you're a lot of fun to talk to you,
but you had a bit of a painful,
personal experience recently in your life.
And we have to talk about it.
People expect me to bring these things up.
You broke up recently with the boyfriend.
And I just- Yeah.
I just felt like maybe you'd feel better
if you talked about it and so in,
and I was just curious how you felt
when the relationship ended.
You know what I'm saying?
Okay, Conan.
Well, see, at first I was afraid.
I mean, I was petrified (audience laughs)
and I kept thinking,
I could never live without you by my side.
(audience laughing)
(light piano music) (audience laughs)
♪ But then I spent ♪
♪ So many nights thinking how you did me wrong ♪
♪ And I grew strong ♪
♪ And I learned how to get along ♪
♪ And so you're back ♪ (audience cheering)
♪ From outer space ♪
♪ I just walked in to find you here ♪
♪ With that sad look upon your face ♪
♪ I should have changed that stupid lock ♪
♪ I should have made you leave your key ♪
♪ If I'd known for just one second you'd be back ♪
♪ To bother me ♪
♪ Go on now, go, walk out the door ♪
♪ Just turn around now ♪
♪ 'Cause you're not welcome anymore ♪
♪ Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye ♪
♪ You think I'd crumble ♪
♪ You think I'd lay down and die ♪
♪ Oh no, not I, I will survive ♪
♪ Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive ♪
♪ I've got all my life to live ♪
♪ And I've got all my love to give and I'll survive ♪
♪ I will survive, hey, hey ♪
Everybody I'm back!
Juliette Lewis, the movie is in theaters now!
Go and see the movie "The Other Sister"!
Bare Jr. is coming up!
We'll be right back!
♪ Go on, now go, I will survive ♪
♪ Oh, as long as ♪