Florida,
the place that answers the question
what it all the stuff that didn't make it in a hot dog
became a state?
Florida regularly faces its share of disasters:
rising sea levels, hurricanes,
rampant sleeve robbery.
And now it's looking at toxic floods.
We're gonna turn now to Florida, where tonight there is
a frantic effort to prevent a catastrophic flood
from a wastewater pond near Tampa.
Hundreds have been evacuated,
crews are pumping out millions of gallons of toxic water
to relieve pressure at the pond.
The Piney Point Reservoir
at an old phosphate plant
is surrounded by radioactive material.
NEWSWOMAN: A collapse of the aging reservoir could send
a 20-foot wall of waste water into nearby areas.
That's why 30 million gallons of the contaminated water
are being pumped every 24 hours into Tampa Bay
and other waterways, raising fears
it could kill fish and wildlife.
Some 300 homes and a nearby prison
already under evacuation orders.
Sweet Jesus. Florida could get hit
by a 20-foot wall of toxic water
surrounded by radioactive material?
You know what this means, right?
If this thing breaks, it's gonna
create a race of mutant Florida people.
(groans): Nudes.
Now, you might be thinking,
"Wait, Trevor, I thought a radioactive flood
was Florida's origin story."
But no, this is a new threat
from a toxic waste pond.
Which raises a big question:
isn't it weird that America just dumps its toxic waste
in a pond and calls it a day?
I mean, it's never a great sign when your solution to a problem
sounds like a problem.
We have a lot of toxic waste to get rid of.
And you know what I’m thinking?
Toxic waste pond?
Toxic waste pond.
And a big part of this problem isn't just
that the water is toxic, but that the walls
that are keeping the water in are radioactive.
And if the water goes over that wall,
it will take the radiation with it.
And, look, I know hindsight is 20/20,
but how did they not realize what a terrible design that was?
I mean, it's like building a lion cage out of guns.
Yeah, it might keep the lions in for a while,
but if they get out, now those lions are strapped.
Moving on now to some business news.
According to a new report,
more than 50 major U.S. corporations
paid zero federal taxes last year.
And now Janet Yellen, U.S. treasury secretary
and retired Hogwarts professor,
has a plan for making them pay up.
Today Janet Yellen, in her first major speech
as treasury secretary,
called for a global corporate tax rate
that would stop countries from trying to compete
by lowering corporate tax rates
to try to attract new business.
We're working with G-20 nations
to agree to a global minimum corporate tax rate
that can stop the race to the bottom.
Together, we can use the global minimum tax
to make sure the global economy thrives
based on a more level playing field.
Now, this-- this is a great idea,
Because, guys, let's be... let's-let's... let's be real.
Corporations shouldn't be able to move to a different country
just to avoid higher taxes. Right?
They should move to a different country to avoid going to prison
for all those children they got killed.
I mean, it's actually wild that corporations
can be incredibly profitable
but not pay into the societies that support them.
It's kind of like if Mark Zuckerberg
still lived at his parents' house and didn't pay rent.
You're a billionaire, my man. At least chip in for the cable.
And what makes the system more frustrating is how little
corporations have to do to claim that
they're located in another country for tax purposes.
And do you have any proof that your company
operates out of the Cayman Islands?
Uh, I have this seashell.
Okay, I get it.
No need to bury us in all this paperwork.
I get it. Put the shell away. I get it.
So, look, I’m actually glad that they're trying
to force corporations to pay their fair share.
But this is only gonna work
if you get all the countries to agree to it. You know?
It's like bars in a college town.
If there's one of them not checking IDs,
well, then that's where the party's at.
Honestly, I don't even know if getting
all the countries on Earth is even enough.
I mean, why do you think Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos
want to go to Mars so bad?
It's not to advance human knowledge.
They just want to set up a P.O. box, baby.
And, finally, let's pour out a 40-gigabyte bottle
for an old Internet friend who is soon to be no more.
It's the end of an era.
Yahoo Answers announced it'll be shutting down on May 4.
Users won't be able to post any new questions or answers
after April 20. The move ends the 16-year reign
of one of the Internet's longest-running
question-and-answer sites. The company says the site
has become less popular over the years
as its members' needs have changed.
Oh, no.
Now where will we go to get life-or-death medical advice
from anonymous strangers? I mean, this was the spot.
But, yes, if you don't know about Yahoo Answers,
it's the site where the world's dumbest people
seek answers to even dumber questions.
Questions like...
"Do you think humans will ever be able to walk on the sun?"
Or "Does spider have puss-puss?"
And I know people will say that Yahoo Answers was a wasteland--
you know, the questions were all so stupid--
but that's exactly what made it so valuable.
Because no matter what you searched online,
whether it was "what happens if I swallowed an AirPod?"
or "how to tie a tie when hand is stuck in toaster,"
you knew that at least one other person
had already asked it on Yahoo Answers,
and you felt a little less alone.
By the way, the AirPod comes out in your poop.
The truth is Yahoo Answers is dead now because it wasn't
keeping up with the more effective services.
Because, yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, it kept people misinformed,
but to truly be successful in this day and age,
you also have to radicalize people into white supremacy.
That's how you make it in tech.
But still, people,
I'm sad to see Yahoo Answers go.
I mean, it's never easy to say goodbye to beloved old websites.
I still remember where I was
the day Ask Jeeves was assassinated.
(bleep) Al Qaeda, man.