- Your husband's car has been turned into
my studio for a talk show.
- Is that crazy or what?
Hello?
- Hey, I'm Alexander Greer and this is The Traffic Show.
Let's welcome today's guest.
(big band music)
Hey man, how's it going?
Do you want to be on a talk show?
- What are you talking about?
- It's a talk show that takes place in your car.
- Sure, why not.
- Let's welcome our next guest!
Internet, you might know him as the man who picked me up
in his white, unmarked van and has let me still live.
What was your name again? It's Chris, right?
- Richard.
Richard!
- Haha, how's it going?
- Sorry, I'm horrible.
I'm operating like a million things right now
and I just have a horrible memory.
- I can only imagine, you were running on the freeway.
I can't believe I even saw that,
I was like what the fuck is he doing?
- You called us over!
- I did (mumbles) anyway.
- Are you regretting that decision now?
- Not at all, I had a couple (beep) and smoked a (beep) and
knew traffic was coming, I'm good.
- Great!
We're just gonna start with a few, easy,
getting-to-know-you questions.
What do you do for work?
- I'm a plumber.
- Do we have a plunger in here?
- I build homes, I don't chase turds.
- Ah! Got you!
Do you prefer a pen or pencil?
- Pencil
- What size shoe do you wear?
- 13
- Do you think that by filter the experience of love
through a facile and predictable, three-act structure
our, over-saturated media landscape has
artificially inflated our expectations of romantic love
and inadvertently programmed the extinction of our species
through a gradual decline in child bearing relationships?
- What the fuck?
♪ Getting to Know Your Glovebox! ♪
- [Goofy Voices] Hey! Whatchu got in the box?
- Now we're gonna play a little game we like to call:
"Getting to Know Your Glovebox".
Do you mind if I root through all of your stuff?
- Go ahead actually.
- Can I see wh--
- There's the glove box.
- Oh, you've got a Tupperware.
Lunch!
- That was, that's a bean salad.
- You didn't finish your lunch.
- I didn't, I forgot my fork.
- You have a spoon down here.
- Oh, shit. That's where it went.
- An Oakley case.
- For my glasses.
- Oh, they're on you, you're wearing Persols though.
- I am, They're the best glasses to get.
- But Oakleys make the best case?
An empty pill cap... an empty pill,
what are these things called?
- Those are narcos I think.
- An empty narco pill case!
(chuckles)
Does that mean that you've taken these?
- They're gone.
- Caffeine gum.
- It tastes crappy, but it gets you frickin wired.
- You do a lot of drugs in your car, don't you?
(laughs)
- [Car Radio] Ms. Manco
- Oh! You can take it.
- Hey babe!
I have some guy in the car,
and he's got a microphone in my face.
- Your husband's car has been turned into my studio,
for a talk show.
- [Wife] Huh
- Is that crazy, or what?
Hello?
♪ Excuse this interruption ♪
♪ We need road rage reduction ♪
- Our next segment is called Road Rage Reduction.
Are you ready to play?
- Okay.
- Do you ever get mad?
- All the time.
- All the time. What do you get mad about?
- You know what I've come to realize is
I just don't like anybody.
- I feel very unsafe next to you right now.
- (chuckles)
- How's this relationship going?
- It's okay, it's starting to go a little south in a few so.
- A little south in a few?
Okay, so we have a few more seconds here
before our thing starts to take turn.
Do you want to get a good scream out?
- Sure
- Just you and me?
I'll go with you on this.
You ready? On 3-2-1
(both screaming loudly)
♪ Drive like ♪ - [Man] What?
♪ Drive like ♪ - [Man] How?
- [Group] Drive!
- Our next game is called Drive Like.
Ready to play?
- Sure
- Drive like you're Daniel Baldwin on crack.
- I don't know man, I'm just fuckin
(mumbles)
Fuckin seriously?
I don't know man.
- Oh, this is it?
Oh, I thought you were just being you for a second.
(both laugh loudly)
Drive like this is the movie of your life
and it's the opening credits and your theme song is playing.
(vocalizing)
- Are you sure you're from around here?
- Yeah!
- (chuckles)
- Do you want more of like a shaft-like thing?
Like (scatting)
- Okay, we're done.
- [Alexander] (scatting loudly)
Okay.
♪ Let me get on down ♪ ♪ Oh yeah! ♪
(squeaky hinge)