Hey, so there's all kinds of stuff on this channel and
out there on social media that you're hearing all the time.
But there's one thing that you don't
really hear all that much and I think that
So, stay tuned and you're going to hear what it is.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am a narcissist negotiation expert.
I teach you how to shift the dynamic and slay narcissists.
I'm an attorney, I am an author.
I teach a lot on this channel about
how to become more powerful and
become the best version of yourself
become the most powerful person in the room.
I teach you about languaging.
I teach you about shifting that dynamic,
so that you are confident and setting yourself up
so that no one and nothing can ever infringe on that.
I think that's really, really important and
I think your mindset is really, really important.
I really do believe that at least 50% of winning
a negotiation is your mindset, if not 80% or 90% even a 100%
of winning a negotiation is your mindset for sure, and
I teach all that right here on this channel by the way
so if you want to learn more all about that
make sure you hit subscribe and
you hit that notification bell.
So, here's one thing that I think
that people don't talk about enough.
You hear a lot on social media.
There's all kinds of memes out there,
All you have to do is scroll on your Instagram,
scroll on your Facebook, scroll on YouTube,
about powerful mindset and
becoming the best version of yourself and
no more feelings of pain, and
that somehow, there's this magical place and
somehow, there's these people that have attained this,
you see these people who have these incredible bodies and
they've overcome all this stuff.
Even me, I've talked about my story,
I've talked about how I've overcome bullying,
how I went back to law school.
I have these three children, you can check it out
in my video “I don't normally share this”.
If you would like to learn more about
my backstory and which is all true,
but what people don't really talk about
all that much is that you think that these people
they have these six pack abs or these incredible stories,
they've achieved financial success or,
they achieved these mindsets,
It's like, they've become the Bob Proctors,
they become the whoever's of the world's,
you know, amazing people.
But what they don't always tell you is that
what I erroneously believed is that
once that you did all this reading,
you did all this stuff, you did all the whatever it is.
The Tony Robbins, The Joe Dispenza
of whatever it is that works for you,
the Deepak Chopra, the Bible, Buddha,
whatever it is that works for you.
I erroneously thought that I would
achieve this magical place and once
I got to this magical place that I would be bulletproof,
I would achieve this place that I would grow up,
that I would get to become this person and
there would be no feeling of insecurity,
no more feeling of impostor syndrome,
no more feeling of hurt when something would happen
or when somebody looks at you the wrong way, whatever.
But that doesn't necessarily happen in exactly that way.
I mean, you can do a lot of the work and
what I have found at least for me and
I can only speak for myself and,
if you look at my history, my resume and
the things that I've achieved and
you look at my life, you could say,
wow she's done all these things and
she's overcome all this stuff.
But, at the end of the day,
I'm still a human being and I want you to know and
this is why I say I think you need to hear this from me,
because you don't get to this place of panacea.
I think what happens is you get to a place
where you get better at monitoring yourself,
you get better at having tools,
you get better at recognizing patterns,
you get better at realizing that a thought
is just beams of energy that float around
in your brain that it's not necessarily real.
It's not like you can reach out and pull it out and go,
“Here it is”. I mean, it's just a little thing.
like an energy wave that went around
in your head and what happens is,
you think it so many times,
sometimes you think it's real and
sometimes you think it so many times
that you attract that into your life and
you start believing it's real, but you don't
realize that it actually started here first.
It didn't show up and then it's real,
it actually starts here first,
because like attracts like,
so it just something that you just kept thinking and
it's sort of like when you start noticing,
when you buy a new car and you start noticing that
that car starts showing up everywhere you go, right?
Or you have a yellow shirt and suddenly you notice all yellow shirts.
I mean, I thoughts are just energy, they're not real.
So, if you have a thought like “I'm not good enough”
or whatever. It's like, it's just a thought, not real.
It's just something that's there and
you can actually look at it and
you can just let it float by.
But remember that that energy does attract
more of that, so if you don't want it,
you have to realize it and just recognize it.
I think for me, I've gotten better at going
“Oh, there there is that, I don't want more of that.
So, let me figure out a way to control it.
Let me figure out a way to not continue to have that.
Let me figure out a way to pivot from there”.
I often joke that my thoughts should definitely
not go unsupervised that they should not
be left alone by themselves.
It's not always necessarily true,
but sometimes, I do recognize that I have
absent flows, that sometimes
I'm vibrationally really good and
I'm feeling really good,
really feeling energetically great and
I'm attracting all the right people into my space, and
then, sometimes I'm feeling like low, and
if I'm feeling low, that's when you're right
for not so great things and that's when you're right
for narcissists to come loading in or things to
not go necessarily the way you wanted them to.
So, you do want to monitor what's going on and
you can get better at having the tools,
you can get better at recognizing it,
you can get better at meditating and by the way,
one of the things I've learned about meditation
is that it's almost like true training a wild horse,
you don't sit down and like immediately
think that you're going to have no thoughts.
That's so, not realistic because your brain is on,
that's what it's meant to do,
It's meant to think, and so if you sit down and
you realize you're having a thought, and
you go, “Ok, there's a thought, fine, back at it”
focus on your breath,
thoughts go by, let it go, sort of like
a wild horse, bring it back.
It's almost like a wild horse that's on a rope.
Just bring it back in, okay?
Back to breath, and eventually
you’re training your brain, your training your brain, and
that's what you're ending up doing, and
so, do you get to this panacea where
you are a 100% at zen and nothing ever
bothers you and you never get angry?
No, that doesn't happen.
But you can get to a place, and
I've talked before about the three C's,
I didn't cause it, I can't control it, I can't cure it.
So, you start to like recognize,
“What are things that I can't cause,
I can't control, I can't cure?”
Letting go of that is really helpful and
if you're so ready to let go
give a “I’m ready to let go” in the comments.
You do learn to recognize it and,
Gary Zukav, by the way,
talked about that when I interviewed him and
he said when I feel that anger coming on,
I notice it. I know what it feels like.
I recognize that in myself and I know
I see the signs, I know how to handle it.
I've learned what to do
to control it in a certain way and so
you don't stop being human being
you just learn how to name it, claim it,
have a tool in your toolbox to handle it and be able
to use your tools so that it's productive for you and
so that you can ultimately keep yourself
at that higher vibrational level so that
you can attract more of what it is that you want.
So that's what I think it is that
you need to hear from me today and
when you're going to negotiate,
it's really, really important to maintain
that control over your emotions.
When I talk about “Negotiate like you M.A.T.T.E.R”,
the “E” is keeping control of your emotions, and
I talked about that in my S.L.A.Y methology as well.
You can grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
if you'd life, at winmynegotiation.com
You can also join my free private Facebook group
if you'd like as well, which has
lots of support going on in there,
lots of people who are supporting each other
at “Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
I invite you to come there as well, and
if you like this video, give it a like, give it a share.
Drop me that comment.
Let me know that you're letting go and
if you'd like more information and
you want to be more persuasive and
more powerful and more confident,
feel free to subscribe and hit that notification bell
so that you can subscribe to this channel.
Thank you so much for stopping by.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
Remember, today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will see you in the next video!