Let me give you an illustration.
It won't be
the lifestyle of every marriage in this room,
but I think you'll get on board with it.
Pretend there's husband and wife.
They have three young children.
So the wife is a stay-at-home mom,
husband's a work-a-day dad.
And the one thing the husband enjoys
is that warm home-cooked meal at the end of the day.
He doesn't actually care if it's home-cooked,
you can hide the containers.
But he likes that warm meal
and he wakes up one morning,
goes to get his cup of coffee,
and on the kitchen counter is this
beautiful, well-wrapped beef roast.
And he immediately goes beefological.
He immediately thinks, "Surely God loves me."
And he knows what's going to happen,
he knows that this is going to cook for hours
and the sinew and the fat and the cartilage will break down.
And this thing will get incredibly tender.
So tender that you touch it with a fork
and it lays open in front of you
be that deep, dark brown, rich, glorious color.
He can smell beef roast.
And he's thinking about that rich brown gravy
that will resolve coursing over the edge
of those beautiful whipped potatoes.
He's singing the doxology at this point.
And he has one of those distracted days at work
where you keep thinking about
the beef that's in your future.
And at the end of the day,
he has one of those numb drives home.
You know, where you just sort of arrive in your driveway.
You don't remember stopping at lights.
You don't remember making turns.
You wonder how many people died on the way home.
And you run up the stairs
and you throw open the door in anticipation.
Doesn't smell like beef roast.
Smells like house fire 911,
but you're not giving up.
You grab the knife and a fork,
you plop yourself down on your chair
and you say, "I'm starved."
And in an act of embarrassment and apology,
your wife puts this burnt ember in front of you.
And you say, "Are you kidding me?
Do you know how hard I work?
Do you know what I do?
I do and do for you and this is the thanks I get?
An animal meal would be helpful.
What'd you do all day?
You don't work."
Now what is that wife thinking?
"I love this man.
I'm thankful he's in my life.
I'm glad God delivered him to me."
I think not.
She's devastated.
That's the nasty kingdom of self.
Wind back,
same morning, same beef roast,
same beefological dreams.
Same distracted day at work,
same numb drive home,
same run up the steps,
same throw open the door,
same nasty smells,
same plopping yourself down at the table,
and your wife puts in front of you this burnt ember
and embarrassment and apology.
And as she's apologized and you grab her hand,
you say, "Dear, look at me.
I love you.
I'm blown away
by your love for me
being the broken person that I am.
I watch you with our children.
I'm stunned at your perseverance.
I think of all the things you do to make my life easier.
I think of your commitment.
Dear, hear what I'm about to say.
If all I have to deal with is an occasional burnt roast,
I'm a man who's been deeply blessed by God.
I love you.
It's okay."
That's the kingdom of God.
What's that woman feeling?
"I don't know what kind of mojo this man has
but I want more of it."
Love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, gentleness,
faithfulness, self-control.
Against those things there is no law.
It's not the way of law.
This is the way of grace.
This is the good thing that God calls you to live in.
Listen,
in every small moment of your marriage,
you're making kingdom choices.