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>>> MILLIONS OF AMERICANS ARE HELPED BY THERAPY EVERY DAY
BUT HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED
WHAT IS ACTUALLY GOING ON FOR
YOUR THERAPIST.
YOUR THERAPIST. IN THE NEW BOOK MAYBE YOU
SHOULD TALK TO SOMEBODY GIVES
US A VIEW FROM THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE PROCESS.
THEY ARE VERY PERSONAL AND
OFTEN HILARIOUS STORIES.
>> YOU REALLY DID OPEN UP THE
CURTAIN AND TALK ABOUT A LOT
OF THINGS.
OF THINGS. >> I WANTED TO BRING PEOPLE IN
WITH ME BECAUSE I WANTED THEM
TO SEE THAT THEY WERE NOT
ALONE.
ALONE.
ALONE. I
ALONE. I THINK PEOPLE WILL SEE IN THE
PATIENT'S THAT I FOLLOW AND
I'M THE FIFTH PATIENT THEY
WILL SEE ASPECTS OF THEMSELVES.
THEY WILL KNOW WHAT GOES ON IN
THERAPY SO IT'S NOT A STRANGE
AND MYSTERIOUS PROCESS.
>> THAT IS A WONDERFUL THING
TO DO AND TO USE HUMOR TO HELP
GET US OVER THE OBSTACLES.
AN INTERESTING OBSERVATION
THAT YOU MADE IS THAT EVEN THE
PARTICULARS OF PEOPLE STORIES
WERE VERY DIFFERENT BUT THE
THEMES FOR US AS HUMANS WERE
OFTEN THE SAME.
TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT.
>> NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE
COMING WITH WE ALL HAVE THE
SAME LONGINGS AND YEARNINGS
AND DESIRES AND CHALLENGES.
WE WANT TO LOVE AND BE LOVED
AND GET ALONG IN OUR
RELATIONSHIPS.
RELATIONSHIPS. WE WANT TO KNOW HOW TO DEAL
WITH REGRET OR HOW DO WE COPE
WITH THE PAIN IN OUR LIVES.
EVERYBODY IS ASKING SIMILAR
QUESTIONS.
QUESTIONS. >> WHAT DID YOU WANT PEOPLE TO
GET ABOUT WHAT THERAPISTS ARE
EXPERIENCING.
EXPERIENCING. >> I KNOW THAT I HAVE WONDERED
IN TIMES.
IN TIMES.
IN TIMES. I REMEMBER GOING IN AND AFTER
MY MOM DIED AND I WAS WONDERING
IF I WAS BEING REPETITIVE.
>> IT IS NOT A COCKTAIL PARTY.
WE ARE NOT EXPECTING WITTY
BANTER AND EXCITING STORIES.
EVEN AS A PATIENT I HAD THOSE
QUESTIONS.
QUESTIONS. WHEN I WAS LEAVING AND I SAW
SOMEBODY IN THE WAITING ROOM I
WONDERED IF SHE WAS MORE
INTERESTING THAN ME.
>> YOU KNEW THAT GOING IN BUT
YOU STILL THOUGHT THAT.
>> YOU'RE THE HUMAN AND WHEN
YOU ARE THE PATIENT YOU DO NOT
HAVE YOUR THERAPIST HAT ON.
WHEN YOU HAVE THIS VERY RICH
EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE WITH THE
THERAPIST YOU CAN'T HELP BUT
WONDER WHAT ARE THEY THINKING.
I HOPE AFTER READING THE BOOK
THEY REALIZE THAT WE REALLY
ARE INTERESTED IN YOUR LIFE
AND WE ARE NOT JUDGING YOU AND
WE TRULY LIKE THE PEOPLE THAT
WE WORK WITH.
>> YOU SAID THAT YOU GOOGLE
STOCKED YOUR OWN THERAPIST.
>> I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT HIM AND
I TYPED HIS NAME INTO THE
SEARCH ENGINE AND I WENT DOWN
THE INTERNET RABBIT HOLE.
IT IS A WAY OF DEALING WITH
YOUR ANXIETY.
YOUR ANXIETY. >> SOMEWHERE IN THERE THERE'S
AN ANSWER OR SOMETHING THAT
WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
>> I THINK PEOPLE WONDER ABOUT
THE THERAPIST BUT I'M NOT SURE
THEY REALLY WANT TO KNOW.
I FOUND OUT THAT HIS FATHER
HAD DIED AT A REALLY YOUNG AGE
AND I HAVE BEEN WAXING POETIC
ABOUT MY 80-YEAR-OLD FATHER
AND HOW WE WERE HAVING A NICE
TIME TOGETHER AND SUDDENLY I
FELT BAD THAT MAYBE I WAS
MAKING MY THERAPIST FEEL BAD.
>> IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA TO GET
TO KNOW YOUR THERAPIST AND LET
THEM DO THEIR JOB.
>> WE WORK ALONE IN A ROOM AND
WE DO NOT GET FEEDBACK LIKE
OTHER PEOPLE DOING THEIR JOBS.
WE BRING OUR CASES EVERY WEEK
WE HAVE A CONSULTATION AND WE
TALK ABOUT WHAT CAN I DO
DIFFERENTLY HERE.
DIFFERENTLY HERE. WE ARE KIND OF STUCK HERE WHAT
CAN I DO BETTER.
HERE SOMETHING ON TRYING WITH
THIS PATIENT YOU HAVE ANY
SUGGESTIONS.
SUGGESTIONS. IT IS VERY HELPFUL.
>> YOU SIT IN A ROOM AND YOU
HEAR MOSTLY PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS.
PEOPLE DON'T COME TO THERAPY
BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS ACES.
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THAT AT
THE END OF THE DAY AND THE END
OF THE WEEK.
DOESN'T BUILD UP OVER TIME AND
HOW IS IT BUILT TO HELP YOU
COPE.
COPE.
COPE. >>
COPE. >> I THINK PEOPLE HAVE A
MISCONCEPTION THAT THERAPISTS
ARE LISTENING TO PROBLEMS ALL
DAY.
DAY.
DAY. WE
DAY. WE ARE LISTENING TO PROBLEMS
BUT WE ALSO SEE HEROIC MOMENTS.
WE SEE SUCH INSPIRING MOMENTS
WITH PEOPLE WHERE THEY ARE
DOING SOMETHING THEY NEVER
COULD HAVE DONE BEFORE.
THEY ARE MAKING THESE
TRANSFORMATIONS IN THEIR LIVES
THAT ARE REALLY CHANGING THE
QUALITY OF THEIR RELATIONSHIPS
.
.
. >>
. >> THAT
. >> THAT IS AN INTERESTING WAY
TO YOU LOOK AT IT.
HE ALSO USED HUMOR WHICH IS
NOT ALWAYS EXPECTED.
WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO GO AHEAD
AND BREAK IT LOOSE LIKE THAT?
>> I THINK THAT HUMAN BEINGS
ARE FUNNY.
ARE FUNNY. THERE'S A CHAPTER CALLED
EMBARRASSING PUBLIC ENCOUNTERS.
THIS IS THE HUMAN CONDITION.
THE MORE THAT WE CAN TALK
ABOUT THOSE MOMENTS THE MORE
WE KNOW THAT WE ALL GO THROUGH
THAT.
THAT.
THAT. >>
THAT. >> DIFFERENT CULTURES AND
DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE COUNTRY
HAVE DIFFERENT REACTIONS TO
THERAPY AND GENERAL.
THE SECRETS DON'T HELP ANYONE
BUT WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO
SOMEBODY WHO'S HAVING A HARD
TIME GETTING THEMSELVES INTO
THERAPY?
THERAPY?
THERAPY? >> I THINK WE NEED TO PLACE
MORE VALUE ON OUR EMOTIONAL
HEALTH.
HEALTH.
HEALTH. IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING CHEST
PAIN YOU WILL GO TO THE DOCTOR
BEFORE YOU HAVE A HEART
ATTACK.
ATTACK.
ATTACK. IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING
EMOTIONAL PAIN SOMETIMES
PEOPLE DON'T GO TO THERAPY
UNTIL THEY ARE HAVING THE
EQUIVALENT OF AN EMOTIONAL
HEART ATTACK.
HEART ATTACK. IT IS HARDER TO TREAT AND YOU
HAVE STRUGGLED UNNECESSARILY.
I THINK SOME PEOPLE THINK IF I
HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD AND
FOOD ON THE TABLE MY PROBLEMS
DON'T MATTER.
DON'T MATTER. BUT PAIN IS PAIN AND IT DOES
MATTER.
MATTER.
MATTER. >> THAT IS A GREAT POINT OF
VIEW AND IT'S A GOOD BOOK TO
GET YOU INTO THE REALITY OF
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
>> LET ME ASK YOU ONE QUICK
THING
THING
THING >>
THING >> I WRITE THE WEEKLY COLUMN
FOR THE ATLANTIC AND ANSWER
READERS QUESTIONS.
READERS QUESTIONS. >> I THINK WE ALL GET A LOT
OUT OF THAT.
THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH