My name is Vijay.
I'm a US Marine.
I served in Iraq.
My MOS was artillery.
We were in Kuwait, and we were playing around in Kuwait,
like, twiddling our fingers for about a month and a half.
And then when we got the heads up, hey, we're going across
the EOD, into Iraq, we're going into EOD call, it was
like an adrenaline rush for me.
It was like, oh man, we're getting some action now.
Like about a thousand meters or less than
that, bombs were exploding.
Boom, boom, boom.
Iraqis are fighting back.
They are engaging.
We are locking rounds inside of this gun and firing away.
And that's when I was like, oh, I'm in Iraq.
I came back.
I was happy.
I was like, oh, I survived combat.
I'm a Superman.
Nothing can happened to me.
I'm amazing.
At the time I had a girlfriend.
I didn't realize nothing was wrong with me.
But before I went to Iraq, I was in love with her.
I loved her.
I came back from Iraq, I was a cold-hearted person.
I was drinking alcohol every night.
I want to go to college.
I enroll in college.
Became a 4.0 student.
Hey, drinking, that's good.
Grades are great.
I'm good to go.
Everything was going good in my life.
I had a job, part time job.
I was getting my government GI Bill at that time.
[INAUDIBLE] had a little extra money for myself.
My son was born March 3, 2008.
That's when I had a rude awakening.
I was like, I saw my son, hold him in my arm.
Usually, for a guy, holding his own son in his arm, he'd
be happy, excited.
I didn't have no emotion.
I didn't have no feelings.
I was like, whoa, what is going on with me?
This is not right.
I didn't feel any love coming out of me.
My grades started going down.
I'm like something is not right.
Why can't I focus?
Me and my ex-wife--
I'm divorced now--
we started having arguments.
And we would get into arguments, and would erupt.
I would get mad.
And I'm like, this is a big stress, too, now.
I can't deal with all the problems and
stuff like that anymore.
One day, I was talking to one of my friends, and he was like
Vet Center.
He just said the word Vet Center.
I didn't go.
And that morning, me and my ex-wife kind
got into a big argument.
And I couldn't deal with it.
It was so stressful.
I was I shaking.
I was saying all these hurtful words and everything.
I'm like, dude, Vet Center.
Go on Google, type in Vet Center, locate an address.
Call the person up.
I was like, hello?
The person I speak to, her name was Tracy.
I was like, I need to see you.
She said, are you a combat Vet?
I said, yes.
Did you serve in Iraq?
I said, yes.
I was like, I have to go to work in about an hour and a
half from now.
Is there any way I can come see you, just to let you know
what is going on my head?
She was like, sure, you can come right in.
She was very calm.
And she would start telling me, at the end of the session
she was like, I'll tell you something right now.
Don't worry.
There's a lot of people like you that are going through
this right now.
So you're not the only one out there.
You did the right thing.
You came to see me.
I'll be able to see what we can do to help you.
We have different resources and we'll be able to help you.
So I was like, OK, fine.
So I scheduled the next appointment.
And when I finished speaking to her that's the reason why I
scheduled the next appointment.
I feel a little bit better.
Because I could express myself, what is going on in my
life, what is wrong with me.
I told her everything.
I feel so comfortable talking to her.
She got me a printout and she showed me.
She said these are the symptoms you described to me,
ever since.
And she said that you have PTSD.
She was like, it's normal for combat Vets coming from the
war to have this.
I was like, what?
If I hadn't come to this place, what would end up
happening to me?
She was like, we don't know.
It would have been worse.
I feel I'm making progress.
Now I've got a divorce case.
I got child support hitting me now.
I'm unemployed.
Way more stress.
I started back drinking, because all of this stress--
work, school, ex-wife, son.
To call me down, relax me at nights, I will take a shot.
Just to calm down-- or a beer.
Tracy sent me to the VA.
She say, I'm going to recommend you to go to the VA.
So I went to the VA now.
Then, all of a sudden, one day I got so stressed out I tried
to commit suicide.
I eventually checked myself into a [INAUDIBLE]
mental facility in the VA.
I was in there for one week.
I talked to this guy.
I was like, great, I have to head to this nonsense again,
explain what is going on with me.
In the first session, [INAUDIBLE]
told me he was a Marine, a former Marine.
He went through a divorce.
He knows what I'm going through.
I feel I trust this man.
I tell this man everything about me.
Something is changing in my life.
I can do it.
I can do it now.
I can focus my mind now, and do what I want to do in life.
So this was in 2011.
And I'm like, wow, I make an achievement.
I didn't jump the ladder, but I took baby steps and I'll
make it to the ladder on top.