(Steven Voice Over) That right there, pronouncing the "h" in "what," that's the accent I'm talking about.
I'm not a fan of accents. Maybe it would finally be my excuse to fire him...
(Over radio, country music) TRACK: "Singles You Up" by Jordan Davis
♪♪♪
♪♪ If he ever singles you up, if he's ever stupid enough ♪♪
♪♪ I'ma be the first one calling you baby (baby) ♪♪
(Upbeat pop music begins)
♪♪♪
(Steve V/O) Jamie ran out of the door and into oncoming traffic, then the truck came.
I still remember the "Save the Whales" bumper sticker on the back of it as it sped away,
and then he got up and came back inside.
(Flirty/mysterious pop music begins)
♪♪♪
(Steve V/O) Thank you for saying I look cute!
But Jamie, you can't just outright comment on people's looks like that. The post office was actually full of women.
But Jamie immediately started flirting with every single one. It's as if he completely forgot about Mimi, which is understandable,
I had to scare them all away by exposing my impacted wisdom teeth...
♪♪♪
(Mysterious/flirty music resumes)
♪♪♪
(Steve V/O) My days are usually pretty normal, but I could tell today was not going to be normal.
I just wanted to get to the office and see Cib and James; they always ground me...
(Steve V/O) [sigh]
Good to be back.
(More romantic music)
♪♪♪
(Steve V/O) Oh, son of a bitch!
This is just as bad as drunk texting. You'll always make the wrong decision and say the wrong thing.
Except unlike drunk texting, voting while southern affects the whole world.
(Steve V/O) We had to snap him out of this. We wanted our friend back.
That sweet, cucky, always apologizing, Jamie that we all grew to love
(Steve V/O) I told Autumn to cut out the rest of what Jamie said to Elise because it got really aggressive.
He was flirting aggressively. James Williams was right there the whole time.
And he didn't do a single damn thing. Just goes to show muscles don't equal courage...
(Steve V/O) Oh my god, he's confident too. That's a recipe for decapitation...
(Steve V/O) Okay now I just think Ryan's getting off on this...
(Steve V/O) Oh good plan boys, that'll buy us about 20 minutes to figure out a plan.
(Steve V/O) Oh, this is true! Too many accidents. Last time the door was locked,
I accidentally tripped over the ethernet cable; thous releasing the Internet into the air in the room.
(Steve V/O) It's hard seeing your family, and even harder losing them.
Luckily for me, I've never experienced anything bad and probably never will.
It's fucking awesome actually!
Outro: OH NO DUDE!