Someone wrote in and they said, "My wife
is so lazy." Oh my God!
My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The
Marriage Foundation
and sir, I'm going to tell you right now
when I used to meet with clients
in real life, not that this
isn't real life. I would meet them
in a public place. Women, they could come
to my office but men
have a tendency to react.
And so, I'm glad that you're not sitting
with me
in my office but that you are where you
are and I am where I
am because I have to tell you
calling your wife lazy
is totally missing the point of marriage.
Why did you get married? What is your
expectation?
Did you hire her to do labor for you?
Did you have expectations? Is this a
phase has she always been lazy? Did you
know
she was not as enthusiastic about doing
things
as you are?
Does she look like you?
Can she swing a hammer like you?
Can she do electrical work like you?
Women have totally different
attributes. You know this whole thing
about gender neutrality is just
so much BS. It's so
unrealistic. We are biologically
different.
We behave differently because our
biology impacts our psychology.
There's so much to learn about marriage
and
I got to tell you, you're missing the
point. Now, I'm not mocking you.
Please don't get me wrong but I am
trying to get your attention.
You see, we live in this western
psychology world
where they say, "Oh, she was blah
blah blah blah. She was a kid
or blah blah blah, now and so, she's blah
blah blah."
It isn't like that. We have free will.
She can be enthusiastic about things. She
could be lazy about things.
She could be positive about negative and
so can you.
We control our own mind. My
approach to marriage is very different
from western psychology.
I used to be a divorce mediator and
virtually, all of my clients
came to me from therapists from marriage
counselors.
In retrospect when I look back, none of
those couples should have gotten a
divorce.
All they needed to do was learn how to
be married.
Now obviously, you should sign up
for this channel. You should learn
and apply for sure
but go a step further. Get one of my
books. Take the course for men,
really learn about your wife. You need to
transcend
these little things like laziness
or sloppiness or blah blah blah blah.
You can make an endless list
but maybe what you should do right now
is make an endless list of her positive
traits.
And maybe you should add to that
list things that you do
that have those positive traits come out.
Take your marriage to a new level.
When we get married, we don't have any
idea of what we're getting into
because the people who are supposed to
teach us don't know,
and they don't know because no one
taught them. It's all
old school western psychology nonsense.
The real deal is this. You get married
in order to be happier every single day
of your life
and to feel love like you've never felt
before
in ever increasing measure.
Are you getting that? No, you're not
because you're pointing your finger at
your wife. You're criticizing her.
Who's going to do well when they're
criticized,
and who is she lazy in comparison to?
I know you just said everybody but
that's not true and you know it.
She is who she is. She's a composite just
like you
are. She's got her positives and her
negatives but you're supposed to be
relating to her
on the level. You ever hear the term
soulmate?
You're supposed to be relating to her
on that level and ignoring what your
mind
is telling you are flaws. It's a very
deep topic if you get
into the next level. We're not going to
do that here
but subscribe and you will see that
there's so much
that you have to learn about marriage.
Look, leave a comment. You could argue
with me if you want in the comment box.
You could like it,
those are much better. You could
ask a question and
that's where I go directly to help
people. If you have a deeper question or
a shallower question and you want to
just talk to one of our counselors,
just write in themarriagefoundation.org,
free counseling service, free answer to
your questions. We want to help you.
We're non-profit, we're here for you. God